So, Australia, let me see if I have this right...
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
03-06-2014, 10:02 PM
So, Australia, let me see if I have this right...
So I've been watching our free sporting channel lately because the world news is depressing and everything else on TV during the day time sucks.
And there's been a lot of AFL (Australian football league??) on.
For those that don't know it's "Aussie rules" football. It's one of the weirdest, whitest (white man) sports I have ever seen. BUT I am start to see the appeal. It's just constant action, action, action. As opposed to soccer which is just as boring as golf and cricket to watch.

So I've been trying to figure out the rules and think I got them down pact so let me see if I have this right.

1) You HAVE to wear the most disgustingly shortest shorts possible. Take the distance between your knee and the top of your leg and half it to get the mid point. Than take the distance between the mid point and the top of your leg and half it again. This is where the bottom of your shorts should not be lower than.
For those that think I'm exaggerating you are more than welcome to youtube an AFL game and see for yourself.

2) If you try to score a goal but miss your teammates HAVE to pat you on the bum.

3) You must be a tall skinny white man with a disgusting Australian accent.

4) In regards to 3) the one exception is if you are a tall black man with an afro.

5) You HAVE to be constantly feeling up the guy you're marking on the other team. Just constantly stroking his body.

6) The middle goal is worth 6 points and the goal either side is only worth 1 and you can only kick it through and if it hits the post it's 1 point.

7) At some point you must bounce the ball. I'm still working on when this must occur.

8) You can only pass the ball by punching it like some overly aggressive fucktard.

9) If you catch the ball on the full after it has been kicked by a team mate you get the opportunity to walk 100meters backwards and than kick it.

10) The amount of time remaining in the top left hand side of the screen is a lie.

11) There must be as many people on the field as humanly possible.

[Image: oscar.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like earmuffs's post
03-06-2014, 10:20 PM
RE: So, Australia, let me see if I have this right...
[Image: riding-kangaroo-sydney.jpg]

[Image: E3WvRwZ.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like EvolutionKills's post
03-06-2014, 10:40 PM
RE: So, Australia, let me see if I have this right...
Does a religious debate really belong on this forum?.

AFL is bonkers, as per OP
Rugby is for private boys schools
Soccer (football) is a place for immigrants to set off flares and stab each other.
League (Rugby League) is my favorite boodsport, still has unnecessary butt groping but at least its understandable to watch, like a game of chess with live action thugs for pieces.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes sporehux's post
03-06-2014, 11:46 PM
RE: So, Australia, let me see if I have this right...
(03-06-2014 10:40 PM)sporehux Wrote:  Does a religious debate really belong on this forum?.

AFL is bonkers, as per OP
Rugby is for private boys schools
Soccer (football) is a place for immigrants to set off flares and stab each other.
League (Rugby League) is my favorite boodsport, still has unnecessary butt groping but at least its understandable to watch, like a game of chess with live action thugs for pieces.
''football a place for immigrants'', am i to assume your from america? to come out with such biased comments like ,set off flares and stabbings, thats just nonsense.

in scotland and england its very rare for such things to occur and when it does its all over the news by such countries that feel threatend by the best and purest form of football. to pigeon hole the most popular game as you have done is rather sad. i would admit we do have the occasional game thats dull, though show me a sport that doesnt have its bland games, its merely a reflection of life its self.

i live in australia now and would certainly agree aussie rules is one of the most lame of all the codes except for grid iron which i find extremely dull. so its all a matter of taste and appreciation of a particular sport. each to there own.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-06-2014, 12:48 AM
RE: So, Australia, let me see if I have this right...
(03-06-2014 11:46 PM)hes nae comin Wrote:  
(03-06-2014 10:40 PM)sporehux Wrote:  ...
Soccer (football) is a place for immigrants to set off flares and stab each other.
...
''football a place for immigrants'', am i to assume your from america? to come out with such biased comments like ,set off flares and stabbings, thats just nonsense.

in scotland and england its very rare for such things to occur
...

It's only rare because of The Enlightenment. Nowadays the FA scriptures are seen more like metaphor.

He's an Aussie... consider yourself 'sledged' Tongue

Also, welcome to the forum (good to have another Brit/Aussie to balance things around here) Thumbsup

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-06-2014, 01:04 AM
RE: So, Australia, let me see if I have this right...
(03-06-2014 11:46 PM)hes nae comin Wrote:  ''football a place for immigrants'', am i to assume your from america? to come out with such biased comments like ,set off flares and stabbings, thats just nonsense.

in scotland and england its very rare for such things to occur and when it does its all over the news by such countries that feel threatend by the best and purest form of football. to pigeon hole the most popular game as you have done is rather sad.

welcome to the forum, please accept this new members gift :
[Image: Sarcasm.jpg]

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like sporehux's post
04-06-2014, 08:34 AM
RE: So, Australia, let me see if I have this right...
(03-06-2014 10:02 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  2) If you try to score a goal but miss your teammates HAVE to pat you on the bum.

Hey, you trying to tell me you wouldnt pat them on the bum? I certainly wouldnt have minded Wink
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Hobbitgirl's post
04-06-2014, 08:39 AM
RE: So, Australia, let me see if I have this right...
(03-06-2014 11:46 PM)hes nae comin Wrote:  
(03-06-2014 10:40 PM)sporehux Wrote:  Does a religious debate really belong on this forum?.

AFL is bonkers, as per OP
Rugby is for private boys schools
Soccer (football) is a place for immigrants to set off flares and stab each other.
League (Rugby League) is my favorite boodsport, still has unnecessary butt groping but at least its understandable to watch, like a game of chess with live action thugs for pieces.
''football a place for immigrants'', am i to assume your from america? to come out with such biased comments like ,set off flares and stabbings, thats just nonsense.

in scotland and england its very rare for such things to occur and when it does its all over the news by such countries that feel threatend by the best and purest form of football. to pigeon hole the most popular game as you have done is rather sad. i would admit we do have the occasional game thats dull, though show me a sport that doesnt have its bland games, its merely a reflection of life its self.

i live in australia now and would certainly agree aussie rules is one of the most lame of all the codes except for grid iron which i find extremely dull. so its all a matter of taste and appreciation of a particular sport. each to there own.

Certainly not American as to the fact Americans don't care enough about soccer dr football to have riots or stab people. And if we embraced immigrants maybe our team wouldn't suck
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes DawkinsFan420's post
04-06-2014, 09:50 AM
RE: So, Australia, let me see if I have this right...
(03-06-2014 10:02 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  3) You must be a tall skinny white man with a disgusting Australian accent.

5) You HAVE to be constantly feeling up the guy you're marking on the other team. Just constantly stroking his body.

7) At some point you must bounce the ball. I'm still working on when this must occur.

8) You can only pass the ball by punching it like some overly aggressive fucktard.

10) The amount of time remaining in the top left hand side of the screen is a lie.

11) There must be as many people on the field as humanly possible.

Not a bad summary for a newbie to the game. I won't answer all your points...you're on the right track.

3) "The Indigenous population makes up two and a half percent of the total Australian population; from this, 90,000 participants are involved with AFL programs around the country. Indigenous Players make up 9% of our AFL list."

Technically, they're "over-represented" in Aussie Rules (and in both rugby codes, I believe).

http://aflcommunityclub.com.au/index.php?id=727

5) well, it's more pushing and shoving....and it gets a bit rough at time. An example...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zos6DQYudXQ

7) every 15 metres

8) yep, you're not allowed to throw the ball. You have to "handball" it. Ball on the palm of one hand, hit with a closed fist from the other. An open-handed slap (on the ball) is also OK but is only useful over (very) short distances.

10) "time left" is determined by timekeepers not by umpires or commentators. Timekeepers are situated in one of the stands. TV stations often just have to use their best estimates.

11) sides are 18 in number, plus 3 field umpires, 2 goal umpires, 4 boundary umpires. So that's 45 just to start off. Plus there are runners, physios, medicos who look after players. In general, play does not stop when a player is inured on the field.

Glad you seem to be enjoying our game. Feel free to ask any other questions.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes jockmcdock's post
04-06-2014, 10:40 AM
RE: So, Australia, let me see if I have this right...
(03-06-2014 10:02 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  As opposed to soccer which is just as boring as golf and cricket to watch.

[Image: How+Dare+You+_e162b5_6664.jpg]

[Image: RPYH95t.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like The Germans are coming's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: