So I am transitioning
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17-09-2017, 09:20 AM
RE: So I am transitioning
HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE!!!!
I HAVE BEEN TO THE MEN'S TOILET!!!

I had to sit and work up a courage first of course. But I went! And did! My business! Right there! wooohooo party.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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17-09-2017, 02:11 PM
RE: So I am transitioning
And here is, of course, the vlog for this historical happening!
I find myself making a vlog of every baby step right now. But I feel that the toilet is really a big deal. It validates me. For now I will keep my men's toilet use to the Sundays though. I don't have the balls to go when everybody goes yet.




"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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17-09-2017, 02:11 PM
RE: So I am transitioning
To be honest, I've never liked the way that male toilets are set up, I mean you don't exactly get to go privately.
I hate taking my youngest son into public toilets for a wee, there should be cubicles like in the female toilets for two reasons, one for privacy, and two male toilets always stink of piss.
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17-09-2017, 02:15 PM
RE: So I am transitioning
But there are cubicles.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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17-09-2017, 02:20 PM
RE: So I am transitioning
(17-09-2017 02:15 PM)Leerob Wrote:  But there are cubicles.

Yeah but, nine times out of ten there are only a couple so you have no choice but to stand there doing your business, the only upside with male toilets I suppose is that the queues are never as long.
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20-09-2017, 01:57 PM
RE: So I am transitioning
So two interesting thoughts have crossed my mind today.

Currently we have a lot of new hires at work. I am a trainer. And today I gave the first training after coming out.
So I had my newbies in the room for the first training I gave after coming out and I just said "Hi, I am Rob" Then added very matter of factly "I am transgender and that is why I still look like this but that will change over time", gave them a friendly smile and then moved right into presenting the training.
I am not sure if that was too distanced or whatever but as I wish to normalize transgender things at work, and because I am the first trans person in our office (not in the company but in this specific office), I have no guidance really on how to handle it. But considering how laid back I am and how I always give people the vibe that they can talk to me, I am hoping that was a good approach.
I also finally met the other open transgender person yesterday. We have an actual Transgender Board at work to have open communication and so we can push things through that are reasonable and to inform and educate. Unfortunately I feel the other transgender person is completely obnoxious and self-consumed. Vastly disappointed lol. I was hoping that everybody is as laid back and reasonable as I am.

The other thing that came to mind today:
Today I was finally back to the gym. I wasn't able since my ziplining accident in May.
The past few weeks I was working to get my, now healed but formally torn, muscle group elastic enough that I feel I can do some light workout without re-tearing it.
So I was working out lightly, basically a lot of cardio and was thinking that currently I still ahve it easy. I still have my breasts so I simply go into the woman's changing room. I honestly don't give a fuck, I just change and go work out. I am really not a fucking creep, mkay but I really don't have a choice right now. If I go into the men's, imma get kicked outta there because female body. Once I get my binders and I start binding, no problem either, because I can simply take the binder off at work and then still have boobs to show for. I won't really be able to go into the men's with the binder because I have to undress to change and once undressed, the binder would be visible.
The one thing I seriously wonder about is what happens after my boobs come off. I might have to contact the gym and just ask what they suggest. I have no problem going in the men's once my boobs are off, even without hormones, because I don't have to talk to anybody. Again just getting changed. But after the top surgery I would definitely not feel comfortable going in the woman's changing room anymore. I mean while I don't give a fuck about anybody in the changing room, I also don't want to make anybody uncomfortable... meh...

Complicated

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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20-09-2017, 02:25 PM
RE: So I am transitioning
(20-09-2017 01:57 PM)Leerob Wrote:  So two interesting thoughts have crossed my mind today.

Currently we have a lot of new hires at work. I am a trainer. And today I gave the first training after coming out.
So I had my newbies in the room for the first training I gave after coming out and I just said "Hi, I am Rob" Then added very matter of factly "I am transgender and that is why I still look like this but that will change over time", gave them a friendly smile and then moved right into presenting the training.
I am not sure if that was too distanced or whatever but as I wish to normalize transgender things at work, and because I am the first trans person in our office (not in the company but in this specific office), I have no guidance really on how to handle it. But considering how laid back I am and how I always give people the vibe that they can talk to me, I am hoping that was a good approach.
I also finally met the other open transgender person yesterday. We have an actual Transgender Board at work to have open communication and so we can push things through that are reasonable and to inform and educate. Unfortunately I feel the other transgender person is completely obnoxious and self-consumed. Vastly disappointed lol. I was hoping that everybody is as laid back and reasonable as I am.

The other thing that came to mind today:
Today I was finally back to the gym. I wasn't able since my ziplining accident in May.
The past few weeks I was working to get my, now healed but formally torn, muscle group elastic enough that I feel I can do some light workout without re-tearing it.
So I was working out lightly, basically a lot of cardio and was thinking that currently I still ahve it easy. I still have my breasts so I simply go into the woman's changing room. I honestly don't give a fuck, I just change and go work out. I am really not a fucking creep, mkay but I really don't have a choice right now. If I go into the men's, imma get kicked outta there because female body. Once I get my binders and I start binding, no problem either, because I can simply take the binder off at work and then still have boobs to show for. I won't really be able to go into the men's with the binder because I have to undress to change and once undressed, the binder would be visible.
The one thing I seriously wonder about is what happens after my boobs come off. I might have to contact the gym and just ask what they suggest. I have no problem going in the men's once my boobs are off, even without hormones, because I don't have to talk to anybody. Again just getting changed. But after the top surgery I would definitely not feel comfortable going in the woman's changing room anymore. I mean while I don't give a fuck about anybody in the changing room, I also don't want to make anybody uncomfortable... meh...

Complicated

I think you should go wherever you are most comfortable and not worry about how it will affect other people. There's no way to predict how others will react either way. So best thing to do, imo, proceed however you feel most comfortable. I think when people appear comfortable it makes others more comfortable just by the "energy" they give off (for lack of a better word.)

Also, I think you handled your office training fine Smile I also don't think you have to give anyone an explanation for anything if you don't want to. You're Rob, that's it, if they don't like it, oh well. But again, I think it all comes back to doing what you feel comfortable with.
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20-09-2017, 03:18 PM
RE: So I am transitioning
Thanks for the kind words jennybee. About the office. We are very openly pro equal rights and pro lgbt both to the outside and media as well as internally. People are generally supportive and reasonable and actually also respectfully curious which is a good sign in my opinion.
But in order to keep people respectfully curious, I think it is an important step to also be open about things, so that rumours and weirdness has no place. So if I, in my female body, introduce myself with a male name, I'd rather remove the elphant from the room if you know what I mean. I am being open and friendly about it, I am not making it a bigger deal, but I do, with a quick sentence, answer the "wait what?" right away. At least that is my attempt.

Oh and something unrelated just came to my mind.
Last weekend I was out with my husband and we met one of his coworkers in the city. Just by chance, crossed paths. My husband is still uncomfortable calling me by male pronouns and Rob so I didn't want to make him uncomfortable introducing myself to his coworker that way. But I also refuse to meet new people by using my birth name. So I just gave a friendly "hi" which was unsatisfying for me because I am usually more polite than that... Dunno. Was just a bit weird for me I guess.
Though over all, while I don't know how he refers to me when he talks to his friends, at least at home he is making an effort not to call me by female pronouns and female things like "wife". He doesn't use male forms and words on me either though. But I do appreciate the effort very much.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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Yesterday, 03:09 AM
RE: So I am transitioning
Well done Rob! Now you get to see the general "state" men's toilets are in. As a Male, I pretty much always use a cubicle and not the urinal/troff (Some times there is like one really long urinal for all to pee into) as, depending on where you are....especially pubs/clubs, they are disgusting lol. Never ventured into a ladies toilet before, but always imagined it's very nice and clean lol.

Training stuff looks like it went well, I find you can either do 1 of 2 things, either what you did which is cool or just not say anything. I tend to go for the latter approach as I'm a private kinda person, so when things come out its like "oh, I never knew that about you" haha. I play the long-con on conversations Laugh out load

Exercise wise, take it easy; lots of stretching and body-weight exercises (push-ups, squats, sit ups) and slowly increase from there. Whilst you ramp that up slowly over the weeks, get a ton of cardio in on the exercise bike/cross trainer and it'll help you trim up, if that's the aim Smile

When life gives you lemons, just remember you are an....
(18-09-2017 09:47 AM)vahaaao Wrote:  Irresponsible bachelor daddy
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Yesterday, 04:50 AM
RE: So I am transitioning
(Yesterday 03:09 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  Never ventured into a ladies toilet before, but always imagined it's very nice and clean lol.
I wish it would be like that hah. Ladie's toilets can be just as disgusting (if not worse because periods) with the differences that ladies don't have the freedom to take a piss standing up (unless they own a STP device).

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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