So I am transitioning
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24-07-2017, 08:39 AM
RE: So I am transitioning
Good luck! Smile

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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24-07-2017, 12:17 PM
RE: So I am transitioning
Thanks for the support everybody.
We (the husband and I) are currently having our downs and ups. At the moment probably more downs but working on it. Will see how it goes.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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24-07-2017, 01:14 PM
RE: So I am transitioning
(24-07-2017 12:17 PM)Leerob Wrote:  Thanks for the support everybody.
We (the husband and I) are currently having our downs and ups. At the moment probably more downs but working on it. Will see how it goes.

I'm so glad you're becoming who you are. Heart Hug

My only suggestion as the parent of a transgender daughter is when you tell your parents they may possibly go into a bit of a shock. That's ok. Let them. It's a normal reaction. Also your parents may begin to mourn in a way they aren't familiar with. It's different than the way one mourns for a dead relative but it still is a form of mourning and loss. They're losing their daughter. Yes, they're gaining a son, but they will need to travel through a mourning process to get to the idea of a son. This is all normal. They will cry and maybe they'll be angry, they might not accept it for a while. It's ok. Let them. Give them the time and space to work through their feelings too.

Also, give your parents and your husband this information on the transgender brain and fetal development. It might help them enormously.

http://aebrain.blogspot.com.au/p/transse...ntity.html

Heart Heart

Keep us posted on your transition. Please do this. It will help you a lot.

Hug

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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24-07-2017, 02:28 PM
RE: So I am transitioning
In my opinion you are showing an incredible degree of courage. I would say I'm proud of you, but I have done nothing myself for you, to have earned that pride in you----be proud of yourself. You've earned it.

Safe journey to you.


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Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
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27-07-2017, 06:39 PM
RE: So I am transitioning
So I thought I'd give a quick update on this because I haven't really talked about it much since last week.

So I already told you guys how the Saturday and the Sunday went I think.
So during the past week things were pretty calm. We had smaller talks but much calmer once my husband was clear with himself that he really wants to make this work if he can.
He kept feeling insecure here and there for a couple of days and that is when I explained to him the following things:
* So far nothing has happened other than me telling him that I have to transition.
* That I understand he needs time to adjust and think and this is why I am not rushing things but moving very slow.
* That I will include him in every step of the way. From haircut, to first T shot, to learning to shave my face.
* Urged him to take therapy as well so he can stay balanced during this time. (he finally agreed)
He seems calmer now. I know things are shaky and scary right now with us. But we are both trying hard to make it work. We have our odd moments but we are working through it.
I know I broke something in our relationship by not talking to him earlier about this, but really I was just scared and I think he understands that (because I clearly told him that) and he knows how much I love him and why I did what I did. We talked a lot and, as I said, we are trying to mend things and make it work.

My plans for the next few weeks.
* End of August I am going to a steampunk festival and the character / costume for me is male. So I want to get a hair cut. BUT to easy my husband into this. I will take a very short cut that is not clearly male. So he can get used to seeing me with short hair.
* I have already started coming out to some of my friends. I am basically slowly working my way through my closest friends at the moment.
* I have to tell my mom. I took advice from a lot of several mothers on how to approach this topic with mine. Thanks all you mothers!
* I found a specialized doctor in the city. I will call there soon to make my first appointment with him. I will then also move my GP file to that doctor because my current doctor is not good anyway.
* There are two coworkers, one manager, and a specific person in HR that I want to talk to before I announce it at work. I am not afraid at my work because it is a very lgbt friendly, trans friendly, and supportive place where I work. I just need to know how to approach it so that I want to do after my vacation.
* I want to do a bit more shopping. Throw some clothes out because finally it won't be weird. (I will keep some that I can probably give to my mom and she will like it)

I realized that I have been focusing so much more on everybody else and how they are taking the news, that I didn't think about my own needs at all. I am scared too, and worried, and confused, and lost, and a little optimistic but not very. I think the one thing that has changed is the fact that I am not suicidal anymore simply because I see a little light at the end of this journey. I think every step I take will bring me a bit closer to it. My therapist told me to focus on the good things and I am trying that approach. But I am naturally overthinking and worrying a lot.

I am happy for my 3 friends who caught me during the past two weeks and kept me sane and basically alive. Three that I have been talking to so much. They didn't even realize that they were taking shifts on me lol.
C is my best friend and rainbro and he has been available all day and until night until he had to go to bed.
M is my second best friend if that makes sense and he has been available and giving so much good advice.
J has surprised me with the unconditional support he has given me.
All three of them have repeatedly ensured me that they are there and are not going anywhere and they have kept to their word! I appreciate this very very much!

Through all of this I have been thinking how funny it is when Christians talk all godly and love thy neighbor etc but then kick their kids out for being gay or whatever and talk about the immoral atheists. And then I look at my friends who are almost exclusively atheists, who all of them have been VERY supportive so far. And even strangers on the internet (you guys here Tongue ) are supportive without needing to appeal to an imaginary jealous friend. It's amazing what the atheist community does here. You are an amazing bunch and I am very thankful!

Tomorrow I have therapy and I will talk to the therapist a bit how it went last week, and my worries etc. Will see how it goes.
Will keep y'all updated too.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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28-07-2017, 01:55 AM
RE: So I am transitioning
Sounds like it's going well so far, Leerob! Always a good sign.

Can't speak for your parents/husband, but just give them time. I think initially its just a big change, and they may not know how to handle it, but once they've had a lengthy amount of time to process the information and what actually will change for them personally (which in the grand scheme isn't THAT much) they'll be fine Smile

All the best as always Smile

I don't want Fop, goddamn it! I'm a Dapper Dan man!
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28-07-2017, 06:30 AM
RE: So I am transitioning
G'day Rob...

I'm glad to hear that things are starting to fall into place for you, and particularly that you're developing a plan of "attack" for some of the inter-relational issues that may've arisen with friends or family. I also think you should be very proud of yourself for persevering with the transition into who you want to be, rather than what the world at large expects—despite some potentially overwhelming adversities, both social and clinical.

Hang in there mate. Thumbsup

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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28-07-2017, 07:37 AM
RE: So I am transitioning
I'm so excited for you, Rob! That's awesome!

Hang in there, and you will pull through. I'm glad to see that you're taking it slow to help your husband along. I did the same with my wife, and I'm glad that I did! Plus she's helped me tremendously, and now we get to borrow each others' clothes. Tongue

I do recommend that rather than throw away your clothes, donate them to a local trans support group. There are very likely to be some trans girls out there looking to get their hands on more women's clothes without having to venture into a store just yet (that feeling of wandering through the women's section as "a guy" looking at clothes- I could never help but feel like everyone thought I was a creeper).

We got your back best we can.

Emma
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28-07-2017, 08:04 AM
RE: So I am transitioning
Before you go to far in transitioning it might be a good idea to check this site.

http://www.sexchangeregret.com/

Not everyone who changes gender is happy with the result.

The information in ancient libraries came from real minds of real people. The far more complex information in cells came from the far more intelligent mind of God.
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28-07-2017, 08:39 AM
RE: So I am transitioning
(28-07-2017 08:04 AM)theophilus Wrote:  Before you go to far in transitioning it might be a good idea to check this site.

http://www.sexchangeregret.com/

Not everyone who changes gender is happy with the result.

Theo, you're a twit.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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