So I found out today I'm not the "first" black sheep in the family.
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30-06-2012, 09:34 PM
So I found out today I'm not the "first" black sheep in the family.
Ever since I talked to the rest of my family about being atheist, there was always a bit of odd tension. My dad in particular has been somewhat "ok" but has constantly had things to say about it in disagreement. He never wants to get to the nitty gritty and often avoids things when we talk.

Up till today I thought it was because he perhaps afraid of answers. Part of me still thinks he does. He hates considering other things. He's old fashioned and pretty stuck in his ways, but that's fine, that's who he is and I accept that.

Today me and my dad went to a rockhound meet. I myself love fossils, so when I go I look out for neat fossils and stuff. We spent a few hours there, came back and chilled and had some lunch. During lunch he got onto politics (he loves that stuff). Somehow he got onto talking about world war 2 (My grandpa served in the war and was apparently present during the liberation of one of the camps). It's something my grandpa didn't talk a lot about, but some years ago my dad showed me an album of pictures my grandpa took during the war, along with the pictures of the camp they liberated. The stuff I saw was horrible. I can't blame him for never wanting to talk about it.

I said, "I will never understand how any person could do such horrible things to another human being. Why do bad things happen to good people?" and he had this odd look and said, "You've always had things to say like that. You know, I never told you this till now, but your grandpa always said the same things. You remind me a lot of him. He was also an atheist like you until the day he died."

Shocking


Then it hit me... no wonder he was caught off guard and upset. He always talks about my grandpa whenever he gets on the subject about religion. I told my wife and she was pretty surprised as well.

Which makes me wonder then: If it wasn't my grandpa and grandma who indoctrinated my dad, who did? How did Christianity become so prevalent in my family?

Anyway, made me feel a little bit better knowing that at some point in time I wasn't the only "black sheep" if you want to call it that. Has anyone here ended up finding out anything like that? Makes me wish he was still alive today, it would be a nice experience I think to talk to him about his perspective on things. He unfortunately died when I was a little kid from cancer due to exposure to various chemicals during the war.
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30-06-2012, 09:37 PM
RE: So I found out today I'm not the "first" black sheep in the family.
Thumbsup It's always good to know you aren't alone. Thumbsup

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30-06-2012, 09:48 PM
RE: So I found out today I'm not the "first" black sheep in the family.
(30-06-2012 09:37 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  Thumbsup It's always good to know you aren't alone. Thumbsup
Well, technically he's dead, many years ago. So in a way I am still. But it's nice to know I wasn't the only one in the family Smile so that's pretty rad. But he has a lot of strong memories in our family, I feel a bit more comfortable now.
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30-06-2012, 09:54 PM (This post was last modified: 30-06-2012 10:42 PM by Atothetheist.)
RE: So I found out today I'm not the "first" black sheep in the family.
(30-06-2012 09:48 PM)Logisch Wrote:  
(30-06-2012 09:37 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  Thumbsup It's always good to know you aren't alone. Thumbsup
Well, technically he's dead, many years ago. So in a way I am still. But it's nice to know I wasn't the only one in the family Smile so that's pretty rad. But he has a lot of strong memories in our family, I feel a bit more comfortable now.
Dude.....................(facepalm)........ I was talking about all the rest of us on the forum... I consider you guys my new family now...... Except for erxomai... He is the weird old uncle you aren't sure you are even related to.

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30-06-2012, 10:11 PM
RE: So I found out today I'm not the "first" black sheep in the family.
(30-06-2012 09:54 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  
(30-06-2012 09:48 PM)Logisch Wrote:  Well, technically he's dead, many years ago. So in a way I am still. But it's nice to know I wasn't the only one in the family Smile so that's pretty rad. But he has a lot of strong memories in our family, I feel a bit more comfortable now.
Dude.....................(facepalm)........ I was talking about all the restmof us on the forum... I consider you guys my new family now...... Except for erxomai... He is the weird old uncle you aren't sure you are even related to.
hehehe, weird old uncle.... that's bad!
Made me think of one of my fave comics...




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30-06-2012, 10:16 PM
RE: So I found out today I'm not the "first" black sheep in the family.
You guys rock.
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30-06-2012, 10:17 PM
RE: So I found out today I'm not the "first" black sheep in the family.
Part of my heritage is native american on my fathers side and gypsy on my mothers side, so the black sheep in our family are those who are super religious aka Christian. We say grace only at important times of the year, like Christmas dinner and Easter. Beyond that, it's not something that the majority of us ever get into.
I have one aunt and uncle who are very religious in their home, but I don't think they go to church that often. I've never seen them push their religion on anyone, including their own kids. My cousin remembers some debate that I got into with my uncle when I was around 17-18 and she says that I held my ground on the topic of religion and it was the first time she had ever seen someone respectfully stand as an equal to my uncle countering him point for point.

I have no memory of this at all. I can only go by what she told me. I can only assume that at some point later in time, my uncle must have knocked my ass out Smile

So be yourself and let others see who you are. You are an influence to others in your family even when you don't know it.

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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01-07-2012, 12:32 AM
RE: So I found out today I'm not the "first" black sheep in the family.
I LOVE stories like this. History is so rich with information, when it becomes personal along the family line like this, it's my favourite! Thanks for sharing.

By the sounds of it it seems like (I'm assuming, I don't know your family tree) that your grandma was the opposite and probably your dad has inner conflict because his parents had conflicting life views.


In my family (very catholic) I recently discovered 2 of my uncles and an aunt are atheist. They don't know I am because we've never had a chance to have that conversation, I just assumed they were because while my grandparents were alive every dinner and celebration everyone prayed.
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01-07-2012, 01:51 AM
RE: So I found out today I'm not the "first" black sheep in the family.
My grandma never went to church for any of my childhood and my parents never talked about my grandparents religion, ever, during my childhood. I never really got why, and my grandparents never talked about it. I'm not for certain if my grandma was atheist as my grandpa was. I can only assume that's the case, but it may not be 100% the case. Afterall, my wife considers herself agnostic while I'm atheist, and we're cool with it. So it's hard to tell.

But yeah the way he talked today shed some light about the conflict he has with it. It seems his parents didn't feel the same way, and now that I'm in the same boat they were in, he's back to that conflict. We talked a bit about it today though, so I think he (hopefully) feels a bit better about things. I told him I don't hate him for his views and I hope he would never hate me for mine. I told him I'm perfectly accepting of things the way they are and I don't regret my views. He gave me the, "It makes me sad that you won't be there after I die." thing, but I told him I appreciated his words because I knew he meant it sincerely and only because he cares. I know he didn't say it out of spite to make me mad, only because he really cares.
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01-07-2012, 04:13 AM
RE: So I found out today I'm not the "first" black sheep in the family.
My grandfather was a convinced Nazi, even after WWII had ended. My father was raised accordingly and he went to the military to become a commanding officer. He abandoned his military career at the time he met my mother and became a Christian a few years later. Despite the fact that my grandparents didn't indoctrinate my father, he decided to do it with me.

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