So, I'm on the phone with my mom...
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24-01-2012, 09:10 AM
So, I'm on the phone with my mom...
And my dad started talking loudly. My mom said, "What is it?"

"Ground rattler. He's somewhere in the laundry room."

I sigh, and tell them I'm coming over to get it (my dad is disabled and my mom is my mom).

So, we tear the laundry room apart and find nothing. My mom sprays roach spray around the room and in the corners. I finally leave and go home. My mom goes down the street to my grandmothers.

When she got back... there it was... in the middle of the kitchen staring at her. So, what does she do? Grab a PLASTIC broom, of course, and whacked it.

The results:


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24-01-2012, 09:27 AM
RE: So, I'm on the phone with my mom...
I'm sorry man. It must be difficult for you.
This kind of thing would be hard enough for an atheist to have to deal with (even with our shady morals system) but it must be torture for you.
I don't know how to help you through this not do I have any wise words to comfort you.
Just know that even though your mother is a cold blooded murderer it doesn't mean you have to be one too. She must be an atheist.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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24-01-2012, 09:27 AM
RE: So, I'm on the phone with my mom...
Thou shall not kill Big Grin

Oh, no Hallucinations 4:11 says the 'gilded sheep should be stewed in rat blood' but Morons 5:16 contradicts it. (Chas)

I would never shake a baby unless the recipe requires it.
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24-01-2012, 09:30 AM
RE: So, I'm on the phone with my mom...
It's okay. Satan is a snake incarnate.

She killed for JAHYSUS!

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24-01-2012, 09:31 AM
RE: So, I'm on the phone with my mom...
Wasn't she supposed to pick the snake up and walk away unscathed in the name of JAHYSUS?

Oh, no Hallucinations 4:11 says the 'gilded sheep should be stewed in rat blood' but Morons 5:16 contradicts it. (Chas)

I would never shake a baby unless the recipe requires it.
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24-01-2012, 09:35 AM
RE: So, I'm on the phone with my mom...
(24-01-2012 09:31 AM)Malleus Wrote:  Wasn't she supposed to pick the snake up and walk away unscathed in the name of JAHYSUS?

Yeah. She panicked, though. I think I'm going to hide a grizzly in her closet to see if she has faith.

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24-01-2012, 09:36 AM
RE: So, I'm on the phone with my mom...
(24-01-2012 09:35 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  
(24-01-2012 09:31 AM)Malleus Wrote:  Wasn't she supposed to pick the snake up and walk away unscathed in the name of JAHYSUS?

Yeah. She panicked, though. I think I'm going to hide a grizzly in her closet to see if she has faith.

I don't know, man, she seems mighty handy with that broom. That's just cruelty Tongue

Oh, no Hallucinations 4:11 says the 'gilded sheep should be stewed in rat blood' but Morons 5:16 contradicts it. (Chas)

I would never shake a baby unless the recipe requires it.
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24-01-2012, 09:38 AM
RE: So, I'm on the phone with my mom...
(24-01-2012 09:36 AM)Malleus Wrote:  
(24-01-2012 09:35 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  
(24-01-2012 09:31 AM)Malleus Wrote:  Wasn't she supposed to pick the snake up and walk away unscathed in the name of JAHYSUS?

Yeah. She panicked, though. I think I'm going to hide a grizzly in her closet to see if she has faith.

I don't know, man, she seems mighty handy with that broom. That's just cruelty Tongue

to bears?
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24-01-2012, 09:40 AM
RE: So, I'm on the phone with my mom...
Of course

Oh, no Hallucinations 4:11 says the 'gilded sheep should be stewed in rat blood' but Morons 5:16 contradicts it. (Chas)

I would never shake a baby unless the recipe requires it.
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24-01-2012, 09:43 AM
RE: So, I'm on the phone with my mom...
(24-01-2012 09:36 AM)Malleus Wrote:  
(24-01-2012 09:35 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  
(24-01-2012 09:31 AM)Malleus Wrote:  Wasn't she supposed to pick the snake up and walk away unscathed in the name of JAHYSUS?

Yeah. She panicked, though. I think I'm going to hide a grizzly in her closet to see if she has faith.

I don't know, man, she seems mighty handy with that broom. That's just cruelty Tongue

Yeah, for some reason I started picturing Yoda fighting with a lightsaber.

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