So daddy had a melt down last night
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03-10-2014, 09:08 AM
RE: So daddy had a melt down last night
wazzel, I just now read your story--please forgive my naive questions about your situation. Obviously, religion is the least of your problems.
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03-10-2014, 09:22 AM
RE: So daddy had a melt down last night
(03-10-2014 09:08 AM)oogie44 Wrote:  wazzel, I just now read your story--please forgive my naive questions about your situation. Obviously, religion is the least of your problems.
Nothing to forgive, you did not know.
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07-10-2014, 08:35 AM
RE: So daddy had a melt down last night
Well I think the end is here.

Last night my wife had a blow up with the oldest, because the oldest drug her feet when getting picked up from the library. The insuring conflict between them lasted well over two hours. I had multiple failed attempts to defuse it, but every time I tried it escalated. During one lull I managed to send my daughter to bed to end it. This is exam week and the one night my son really needed to study was last night for his test today. So pissed off that something so small was made into such a big deal. Instead of helping my son so he could do well on his math exam I had to ref them to make sure that did not spiral out of hand.

Once the kids were in bed I told her I wanted a divorce. I told her she was a mean and emotionally abusive person and she had to go. Of course she told me no. I tried to explain she really does not have a choice. She said she was going to check herself in somewhere to get some help. Really what ever. Eventually I went to bed, she followed so I got out of bed. She wanted to confront me, but I was not going to do this during exam week. As calmly as I could I told her she could have the bed or the couch, but I was not sleeping in the same bed with her. She took the couch.

She wanted me to skip out of work and talk to her after the kids were at school. I really have nothing left to say to her. I just want her gone. I am tired of living ready to "duck and cover" emotionally.

With it being exam week for my kids I really do not want to blow this up. As is normal for her, things like this happen at the absolute worst time.
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07-10-2014, 09:07 AM
RE: So daddy had a melt down last night
(07-10-2014 08:35 AM)wazzel Wrote:  Well I think the end is here.

Last night my wife had a blow up with the oldest, because the oldest drug her feet when getting picked up from the library. The insuring conflict between them lasted well over two hours. I had multiple failed attempts to defuse it, but every time I tried it escalated. During one lull I managed to send my daughter to bed to end it. This is exam week and the one night my son really needed to study was last night for his test today. So pissed off that something so small was made into such a big deal. Instead of helping my son so he could do well on his math exam I had to ref them to make sure that did not spiral out of hand.

Once the kids were in bed I told her I wanted a divorce. I told her she was a mean and emotionally abusive person and she had to go. Of course she told me no. I tried to explain she really does not have a choice. She said she was going to check herself in somewhere to get some help. Really what ever. Eventually I went to bed, she followed so I got out of bed. She wanted to confront me, but I was not going to do this during exam week. As calmly as I could I told her she could have the bed or the couch, but I was not sleeping in the same bed with her. She took the couch.

She wanted me to skip out of work and talk to her after the kids were at school. I really have nothing left to say to her. I just want her gone. I am tired of living ready to "duck and cover" emotionally.

With it being exam week for my kids I really do not want to blow this up. As is normal for her, things like this happen at the absolute worst time.

From my experience, it's interesting how emotionally unstable women like your wife and my ex pick the most inopportune, inconvenient times
to throw shit fits or demand talking about it. It can't be coincidental - but I wonder if it is at all conscious.

Good luck on the end game.


N.B. Before anyone jumps on the misogyny bandwagon, I don't have any experience with intimate relationships with unstable men. So, there's that.

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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07-10-2014, 09:16 AM
RE: So daddy had a melt down last night
Hug

Hopefully the two of you will find a way to end it amicably, quickly, and without too much disruption of the kids lives.

This is the beginning of the journey to bring you and the kids into a happy place. The road will be bumpy, but the payoff worth it.

As GwG told me yesterday, find the positive, in the next few months it might be hard, but focus on the good that will result in the end.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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07-10-2014, 09:19 AM
RE: So daddy had a melt down last night
Contact the best divorce attorneys in town, you might not use them, but it might mean that she won't be able to either Tongue


Seriously though, contact one and get the basics, some places have rules about one person leaving the family, even if you are just storming out for a breather.

CYA.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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07-10-2014, 09:55 AM
RE: So daddy had a melt down last night
Having grown up with fighting parents and having been in a bad relationship with a mentally unstable woman (only a coincidence, I'm sure), I can tell you that you've probably forgotten what "normal" feels like. Here's a reminder: it's fucking great. It's great for the kids and it's great for you. The weight of a dysfunctional relationship builds up very slowly over time. When you finally remove it, you almost can't believe how much of a burden you were carrying all those years.

I hope you get your normal back someday (soon). Smile

If Jesus died for our sins, why is there still sin? If man was created from dust, why is there still dust? If Americans came from Europe, why are there still Europeans?
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07-10-2014, 10:00 AM
RE: So daddy had a melt down last night
(07-10-2014 09:07 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(07-10-2014 08:35 AM)wazzel Wrote:  Well I think the end is here.

Last night my wife had a blow up with the oldest, because the oldest drug her feet when getting picked up from the library. The insuring conflict between them lasted well over two hours. I had multiple failed attempts to defuse it, but every time I tried it escalated. During one lull I managed to send my daughter to bed to end it. This is exam week and the one night my son really needed to study was last night for his test today. So pissed off that something so small was made into such a big deal. Instead of helping my son so he could do well on his math exam I had to ref them to make sure that did not spiral out of hand.

Once the kids were in bed I told her I wanted a divorce. I told her she was a mean and emotionally abusive person and she had to go. Of course she told me no. I tried to explain she really does not have a choice. She said she was going to check herself in somewhere to get some help. Really what ever. Eventually I went to bed, she followed so I got out of bed. She wanted to confront me, but I was not going to do this during exam week. As calmly as I could I told her she could have the bed or the couch, but I was not sleeping in the same bed with her. She took the couch.

She wanted me to skip out of work and talk to her after the kids were at school. I really have nothing left to say to her. I just want her gone. I am tired of living ready to "duck and cover" emotionally.

With it being exam week for my kids I really do not want to blow this up. As is normal for her, things like this happen at the absolute worst time.

From my experience, it's interesting how emotionally unstable women like your wife and my ex pick the most inopportune, inconvenient times
to throw shit fits or demand talking about it. It can't be coincidental - but I wonder if it is at all conscious.

Good luck on the end game.


N.B. Before anyone jumps on the misogyny bandwagon, I don't have any experience with intimate relationships with unstable men. So, there's that.

Yup, it is like that for me. When it is a bad time for her to freak out I can expect it to happen.
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07-10-2014, 10:36 AM
RE: So daddy had a melt down last night
You're carrying the weight of several worlds on your shoulders. You and the kids will feel better once it's gone. Unfreakingbelievabley better.

Congratulations for finally drawing the line.

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
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07-10-2014, 10:45 AM
RE: So daddy had a melt down last night
(07-10-2014 10:00 AM)wazzel Wrote:  Yup, it is like that for me. When it is a bad time for her to freak out I can expect it to happen.
Speaking to that, it was during almost any celebration (holidays, my graduation) that my dad would have start some sort of issue that would lead to yelling, fighting, and just a bunch of pissed off people. There is a reason for that, and I'm sure a good psychologist could tell you that reason, but I cannot.

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I don't think getting divorced when you feel it is time is the wrong decision. It's your life, and making it pleasant and what you want is your prerogative. I can't help but feel for your wife as well, as everybody is struggling to live life the way they feel it is right. I'm sure she has her reasons, even if they don't make sense to others. Hopefully in time you will both find happiness and peace, even if it isn't with each other.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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