So hard to come out
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28-09-2011, 11:49 AM
So hard to come out
I recently had a civil discussion on Facebook between an Agnostic and myself regarding the Old and New Testaments. Unknowingly the conversation got posted to my wall. I didn’t realize this until it had been on for the entire day. The panic I felt when realizing this brought to light the fact that I am unable to publicly come clean about my lack of belief in any God. I've lost many hours of sleep fearing that I just alienated half of my acquaintances not to mention what I could have done to my children if their friends find out. Is this fear reasonable and have any of you experienced this same thing?
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28-09-2011, 11:54 AM
RE: So hard to come out
Yes, they have.
For the sake of your children and your sanity, move! meanwhile, get off facebook and stick to anonymous forums.

If you pray to anything, you're prey to anything.
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28-09-2011, 11:59 AM
RE: So hard to come out
Unfortunately facebook inadvertently outed me as well. No one defriended me or outright stopped talking to me (at least no one that was not already essentially ignoring me) but it did result in some unfortunate back and forth messaging with family members and tearful phone calls from my mother. If people are petty enough to not be your friend after that, the ideal solution would be to say "I am better off without them" but it still hurts when people make a false judgement about you. I can't speak to how much of an impact it would have on your children, but hopefully they are old enough to know how to tell anyone that what their dad believes is up to their dad (or mom, since I am unsure of your gender). I suppose the only way to be sure is to talk with them about it before or after any questions are posed to them. Good luck my friend.

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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28-09-2011, 12:25 PM
RE: So hard to come out
Isn't it amazing that we have to hide as if we're criminals. Shit the religious are the ones that condemn people to never ending torment in hell. I think after my kids are out of school I'll have more guts to come out.
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28-09-2011, 12:33 PM
RE: So hard to come out
If people can't accept you for who you are, then they are not worth your time.

Behold the power of the force!
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28-09-2011, 12:49 PM
RE: So hard to come out
(28-09-2011 12:25 PM)free2011 Wrote:  Isn't it amazing that we have to hide as if we're criminals. Shit the religious are the ones that condemn people to never ending torment in hell. I think after my kids are out of school I'll have more guts to come out.

I understand your position, but what about your kids? Are they learning the difference between reality and fiction? Sometimes coming out is tough but then the world is full of battles. Your biggest battle is for your kids future.

Who can turn skies back and begin again?
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28-09-2011, 01:03 PM
RE: So hard to come out
Is the situation in the USA really that worse? Here in Germany atheists have no problems to come out (just a little bit depending on milieu).
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28-09-2011, 01:26 PM
RE: So hard to come out
(28-09-2011 01:03 PM)darksky Wrote:  Is the situation in the USA really that worse? Here in Germany atheists have no problems to come out (just a little bit depending on milieu).

In a word... yes.

The degree depends on your local situation, where in the country you live; there are many different possibilities and outcomes. For some it is an easy transition. For others, like myself, it can be a life changing ordeal. I would suppose if you are non-theistic from the start it could be easier to live since you are not bound by the trappings of your life as a theist; I don't know. But to transition later in life can possibly be difficult. Where I live, I consider myself shunned.

Who can turn skies back and begin again?
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28-09-2011, 02:17 PM
RE: So hard to come out
But, but... that's no way to live! We are here for such a short time, and have to put up with so much shit, both natural and man-made, we don't need this extra burden.
Since so many people in some states have the same problem, wouldn't it be possible to connect with like-minded people in the same neighbourhood? Social media is supposed to facilitate this, not make it harder.

If you pray to anything, you're prey to anything.
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28-09-2011, 03:29 PM
RE: So hard to come out
(28-09-2011 02:17 PM)Peterkin Wrote:  But, but... that's no way to live! We are here for such a short time, and have to put up with so much shit, both natural and man-made, we don't need this extra burden.
Since so many people in some states have the same problem, wouldn't it be possible to connect with like-minded people in the same neighbourhood? Social media is supposed to facilitate this, not make it harder.

Yes Peterkin. Sorry to sound cynical but, if wishes be horses this beggar would ride. Hope is good. Life is good, not always easy.

Who can turn skies back and begin again?
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