So tired.
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12-10-2015, 02:19 AM
RE: So tired.
(12-10-2015 02:12 AM)Heywood Jahblome Wrote:  
(11-10-2015 01:49 PM)Nishi Karano Kaze Wrote:  And trying to get well enough to get rid of that and be able to get and hold a job and be a normal citizen.

You are a normal citizen.

I'm fully aware of that. But I don't feel like it. I hate the thought of me never being able to pay enough tax to repay how much money I have taken out of the system. And this too should be OK. But in the end it goes back to me feeling weak and useless.

The problem for me, as I see it, is that what I can rationalize isn't what I feel. And I can't get rid for the overwhelming amount of feeling to better balance out the personality that is me. Well that should be me, according to me.
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12-10-2015, 02:26 AM
RE: So tired.
(12-10-2015 02:19 AM)Nishi Karano Kaze Wrote:  I'm fully aware of that. But I don't feel like it. I hate the thought of me never being able to pay enough tax to repay how much money I have taken out of the system. And this too should be OK. But in the end it goes back to me feeling weak and useless.

The problem for me, as I see it, is that what I can rationalize isn't what I feel. And I can't get rid for the overwhelming amount of feeling to better balance out the personality that is me. Well that should be me, according to me.

Hardley anyone pays enough tax to support their own existence. The only reason 7+ billion people exist on this earth right now is because of automation and technology. You're not living off some government pension. You're living off a technology/automation dividend.....so don't sweat it. More and more and more people are living off that dividend every day.
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12-10-2015, 02:42 AM
RE: So tired.
(12-10-2015 02:19 AM)Nishi Karano Kaze Wrote:  The problem for me, as I see it, is that what I can rationalize isn't what I feel. And I can't get rid for the overwhelming amount of feeling to better balance out the personality that is me. Well that should be me, according to me.

I understand that you don't feel like your doing your fair share and that bothers you. Well you don't need a job to do your fair share. You could always volunteer somewhere. Hell, you could simply go for a walk and while you are on your sojourn just pick up some pieces of trash. If you did just that, you'd be doing more for humanity than a lot of the other clowns you see walking down the street.
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12-10-2015, 03:59 AM
RE: So tired.
(12-10-2015 02:19 AM)Nishi Karano Kaze Wrote:  
(12-10-2015 02:12 AM)Heywood Jahblome Wrote:  You are a normal citizen.

I'm fully aware of that. But I don't feel like it. I hate the thought of me never being able to pay enough tax to repay how much money I have taken out of the system. And this too should be OK. But in the end it goes back to me feeling weak and useless.

The problem for me, as I see it, is that what I can rationalize isn't what I feel. And I can't get rid for the overwhelming amount of feeling to better balance out the personality that is me. Well that should be me, according to me.

This is why we humans have invented society, brotha. Everyone needs a hand up sometimes.

We love you, you belong on the party deck. It's not about utility, it's about being real.
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12-10-2015, 07:59 AM
RE: So tired.
You are a good person who deserves to be supported by our society when you have depression. Nobody personally chooses depression, so it is not as if you are willingly choosing to be in the position you are in. Get the help you need. I wish you the best.
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12-10-2015, 08:14 AM
RE: So tired.
I would also like to add, Nishi, that you give a lot of support to people on this forum who are going through various things. You have been a tremendous support to Banjo. You also have been a support to me checking up on me to make sure I am okay re: my recent break up and making me laugh when I really needed it. You give back in more ways than you know. Smile

You are dealing with something right now that is very difficult to be dealing with. You are working to get well. You are doing everything you should be doing. You are going through all of that and still offering support and laughter to people on here. I think that says a lot about your character and who you are as a person. Heart
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12-10-2015, 08:38 AM
RE: So tired.
It's hard, feeling that things are going to get way worse before they get better. I hope that the steps you're taking now help arrest the descent. Figuring out how to help yourself at this point will also let you share that knowledge down the line with other people who need it.

I always enjoy reading your posts and appreciate your caring, funny perspective.
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