Social Anxiety and Alcoholism
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30-12-2012, 12:37 AM
Social Anxiety and Alcoholism
Hey guys, I know most of you are interested in the heavier stuff such as philosophy and politics. However, since New Year is just a few days away I think we could talk about this issue in a less than serious manner.

Most human beings love parties. Most normal people love New Year. Most conventional persons love to dance. Hanging out with friends in large crowds with loud music is synonymous with having the time of your life. I don't feel contempt for this mindset, in a strange way I even envy them.

With me it is a completely different story. I have a very strange habit, a vice if you will, it is called "thinking". I have a brain that just wont shut up. I can't smile and "have fun" when I am not genuinely having a good time. Comparing clothes, talking about irrelevant nonsense and moving like a retard animal at parties makes me die inside. Whenever I am going to meet new people I start to think about hundreds of possible scenarios and get all nervous and retarded. Naturally, I don't cause a very nice impression and I am a sad social outcast. Not that I care much about it to be honest.

Recently I have been trying to get over this problem. I have even taken profesional help. I rarely go out at all and I spend most of my free time in my computer, playing video games or educating myself about the world I live in. As a result, most people who really know me think that I am insane, problematic, stupid or a combination of any of those.

The "solution" I have found to solve this problem has been a toxic substance called "alcohol". It doesn't make me sociable or any more charismatic. I am still an antisocial bitch, but I simply dont give a shit about it. I can hang around other human beings without thinking about the most painful way to blow myself up. I know this is far from perfect. I am building a nasty reputation of a "drunk". My parents are extremely worried about me, it literally keeps them awake at night. Furthermore, my brain and liver are suffering from intoxication, with potential long term effects.

In case you have read this far and you still give a shit about this crazy guy, what are your thoughts about this? Am I really doing such a bad thing? Is there another way to get over this problems without having to kill my individuality? Has any of you faced a similar situation?

In the grand scheme of things, I know all of this is bullshit. The interactions among primates on a flying rock don't impact anything. However, if anyone feels empathy towards my situation I would be glad to read your advice. Now I said too much, I would never talk like this to anyone I knew from my country, but I guess that's the magic of the internet. Smile

Peace.

EDIT: I wrote that stuff by being completely "fucked up" so I guess I will erase it when I'm sober Tongue. I hope I am not making a fool of myself.

Antitheist - Tooth Fairy Agnostic - Rationalist - Humanist - Individualist - Libertarian Minarchist

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Social Anxiety and Alcoholism - GodlessnFree - 30-12-2012 12:37 AM
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