"Some of my best friends are blank"
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05-09-2017, 11:39 AM
"Some of my best friends are blank"
We're all familiar with this line of evidence, was wondering what it means to others. It's not proof of anything but I think as evidence it's fairly powerful. If you are accused of being a racist, and “my wife is black” I think that tells us something. A homophobe? Well, “some of my best friends are gay.” Xenophobe? Waitaminute, “my husband is a recent immigrant from Peru.”

This kind of evidence tends to get dismissed too fast imho. Not only is it often dismissed as not indicative of the “true” (presumably prejudiced) beliefs of the speaker, it is often actually used as counter-evidence! “Methinks thou doth protest too much” type thinking, as in, oh, you said, when accused of being an anti-semite, “My daughter is married to a Jew” well, there you go, dude hates Jews or why would he say such a thing? I feel these things do mean something...doesn't mean you aren't or can't still be anti-Mexican with, say, a Mexican husband, but if someone discounts it completely I would have to ask why and would suspect ill intent, as if the pejorative labeling is more important than truly understanding the person's beliefs (super-common in forum debate of course).

One disclaimer would have to be that the person asserting is telling the truth. “Some of my best friends are black” but then you actually don't know anybody black and actively avoid black people, then of course it's not evidence and is even counter-evidence. The other disclaimer would be the person's relevant words and actions in other situations...I don't care how many Jews Hitler had as best friends, his other actions kinda override that.

Anyway: Not really a debate topic, just random thinking.

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05-09-2017, 01:42 PM
RE: "Some of my best friends are blank"
I always wonder whether those "best friends" who are black/jewish/gay, etc., would describe the speaker as a best friend in return. And then I wonder how many Jews went to the camps still waiting for their "best friends" to stand up for them.

However, it's true that there are lots of ways to form a tribe. (ask one of the posters I presume you were referencing about whether he has any friends who are Democrats...) Once someone's in your tribe, they get a pass.

New tribe members still have to be careful not to oppose the dominant narrative. Maybe one of the problems of the Jews and their best friends was that the Jews accepted into Gentile social circles smiled along (or maybe winced quietly) when someone would go off on Christ killers or the protocols rather than push back. I think the people in the provisional group know that it's too easy to be thrown back into the out group. I don't define the "some of my best friends are" people as without bigotry. Rather, their bigotry is suspended in certain circumstances.

Feeling fragile about your position in your aspirational tribe may explain the "my _____ friend is different and doesn't believe all this nonsense" that is often advanced in support of the status quo. For example, a phenomenon around the time of first-wave feminism was that a number of women who'd made it into the power structure didn't try to help the women who came after them. Instead it seemed--at least to the generation trying to follow in their footsteps--that they'd tried to pull up the ladder behind them.
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05-09-2017, 03:37 PM
RE: "Some of my best friends are blank"
Interesting analysis, thank you.

(05-09-2017 01:42 PM)julep Wrote:  However, it's true that there are lots of ways to form a tribe. (ask one of the posters I presume you were referencing about whether he has any friends who are Democrats...) Once someone's in your tribe, they get a pass.

I was trying to keep it totally divorced from where it had come up so as not to poison the well one way or the other...I'm just interested in the usage in general. But...yeah!

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05-09-2017, 03:41 PM
RE: "Some of my best friends are blank"
Imaginary. Some of my best friends are imaginary.

#sigh
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05-09-2017, 04:22 PM (This post was last modified: 05-09-2017 04:25 PM by Clockwork.)
RE: "Some of my best friends are blank"
The thread title is golden.

[Image: miXhI4il.jpg]
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05-09-2017, 04:25 PM
RE: "Some of my best friends are blank"
In the end, we each have the right to make a choice as to whom will be our friends and our life-partners.

Not so much our in-laws, but if unconditional love is part of one's family values then one has to at least try really, really hard.

I understand the rolling of eyes that such a statement as "my friends are blank" or "I love my blank friends and family members" brings for the hapless speaker. But it is not fair to assume that because a person uses such a cliched phrase, they don't mean it or they are exaggerating or lying.

People of one color can't help what others think of them if they say they have a friend of a different color. That is the problem of the "others" that are prejudiced against the speaker.

I have said it and have felt completely foolish for saying it as an explanation for something I said that I worried could be construed as racist.

Why do we have to be so damned careful about what we say? Why do we feel the need to qualify our thoughts and conversations among people who are just as fallible as we?

"The Ox is slow, but the Earth is patient."
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05-09-2017, 05:10 PM
RE: "Some of my best friends are blank"
Well, yes. Here's a picture of my friend Sam. He/she/it is a great listener (because - big ears) and is discrete (no mouth), and has been a confidant for many years.

[Image: Chris.jpg]

I'm so happy that someone has finally recognized the little known minority of blank people. We have to speak up for them because they have a hard time speaking for themselves.

Smartass
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05-09-2017, 05:16 PM
RE: "Some of my best friends are blank"
(05-09-2017 05:10 PM)Rockblossom Wrote:  Well, yes. Here's a picture of my friend Sam. He/she/it is a great listener (because - big ears) and is discrete (no mouth), and has been a confidant for many years.

[Image: Chris.jpg]

I'm so happy that someone has finally recognized the little known minority of blank people. We have to speak up for them because they have a hard time speaking for themselves.

Smartass

Good choice for confidant, looks like he can keep his mouth shut.

#sigh
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05-09-2017, 05:25 PM
RE: "Some of my best friends are blank"
Here is one of mine:

[Image: Velvet.jpg]

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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05-09-2017, 05:29 PM
RE: "Some of my best friends are blank"
(05-09-2017 03:41 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Imaginary. Some of my best friends are imaginary.

[Image: hehe.gif]


So, it's really Girly's foster home for imaginary friends.

[Image: fosters-fosters-home-for-imaginary-frien...70-370.jpg]

(Have only seen bits of this and it was ages ago, but I rather liked it)


(05-09-2017 04:22 PM)Clockwork Wrote:  The thread title is golden.

[Image: miXhI4il.jpg]

Ha, haven't thought of this story in ages (had even forgotten the name of the author) but god, did it scare the bejesus out of me when I read it... luckily, I read it in Bulgarian, 'cause "became like unto Egg" would have sent me into a hysterical fit of the giggles


On the Akasaka Road, in Tôkyô, there is a slope called Kii-no-kuni-zaka, — which means the Slope of the Province of Kii. I do not know why it is called the Slope of the province of Kii. On one side of this slope you see an ancient moat, deep and very wide, with high green banks rising up to some place of gardens; — and on the other side of the road extend the long and lofty walls of an imperial palace. Before the era of street-lamps and jinrikishas, this neighborhood was very lonesome after dark; and belated pedestrians would go miles out of their way rather than mount the Kii-no-kuni-zaka, alone, after sunset.
All because of a Mujina that used to walk there.

The last man who saw the Mujina was an old merchant of the Kyôbashi quarter, who died about thirty years ago. This is the story, as he told it :—
One night, at a late hour, he was hurrying up the Kii-no-kuni-zaka, when he perceived a woman crouching by the moat, all alone, and weeping bitterly. Fearing that she intended to drown herself, he stopped to offer her any assistance or consolation in his power. She appeared to be a slight and graceful person, handsomely dressed; and her hair was arranged like that of a young girl of good family. "O-jochû," he exclaimed, approaching her,— "O-jochû, do not cry like that!... Tell me what the trouble is; and if there be any way to help you, I shall be glad to help you." (He really meant what he said; for he was a very kind man.) But she continued to weep,— hiding her face from him with one of her long sleeves. "O-jochû," he said again, as gently as he could,— "please, please listen to me! ... This is no place for a young lady at night! Do not cry, I implore you!— only tell me how I may be of some help to you!" Slowly she rose up, but turned her back to him, and continued to moan and sob behind her sleeve. He laid his hand lightly upon her shoulder, and pleaded:— "O-jochû!— O-jochû!— O-jochû!... Listen to me, just for one little moment!... O-jochû!— O-jochû!"... Then that O-jochû turned round, and dropped her sleeve, and stroked her face with her hand;— and the man saw that she had no eyes or nose or mouth,— and he screamed and ran away.
Up Kii-no-kuni-zaka he ran and ran; and all was black and empty before him. On and on he ran, never daring to look back; and at last he saw a lantern, so far away that it looked like the gleam of a firefly; and he made for it. It proved to be only the lantern of an itinerant soba-seller, who had set down his stand by the road-side; but any light and any human companionship was good after that experience; and he flung himself down at the feet of the old soba-seller, crying out, "Aa!— aa!!— aa!!!"...
"Kore! Kore!" roughly exclaimed the soba-man. "Here! what is the matter with you? Anybody hurt you?"
"No— nobody hurt me," panted the other,— "only... Aa!— aa!"...
"— Only scared you?" queried the peddler, unsympathetically. "Robbers?"
"Not robbers,— not robbers," gasped the terrified man... "I saw... I saw a woman— by the moat;— and she showed me... Aa! I cannot tell you what she showed me!"...
"He! Was it anything like THIS that she showed you?" cried the soba-man, stroking his own face— which therewith became like unto an Egg... And, simultaneously, the light went out.

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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