Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
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19-04-2015, 01:28 PM
Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
My girlfriend and I were watching some romantic comedy the other day (not my idea, trust me), and the topic of sexual history came up. So we ended up talking about it, and it turns out that she's got quite a past.

She's 27 and here is just some of what she told me...

Her first time was when she was 17
When I asked her how many men she's had sex with she couldn't tell me but when I asked if it was over 20 (jokingly) she said oh yes, way more
The first time she did anal was at the age of 18
She has had a threesome on 3 separate occasions
She has kissed girls in clubs many times
She was a member of fetlife for a couple of years
She mentioned something about doing porn

Those are the highlights but she mentioned quite a lot of other occasions and people.

This is not OK. I've been with her for 3 years and I had no idea about any of this. I always had a feeling about her but I really didn't think it was like this. This is a huge shock to me and what bothers me is that I've invested 3 years of my life with someone whose values and mine most certainly do not gel.

I don't really want to break up with her, but at the same time I can't imagine staying with her and being OK with this. It's going to nag away at me, I know it. I'm a firm believer that her sexual history has a lot to do with the ability to pair bond (or should I say, the inability), and I have seen enough evidence of this with my friends and their girlfriends to confirm it.

I hate to think about it as 3 years is a long time, but I guess I probably will be finishing with her, at least that's how I'm feeling right now. But I just want to get people's opinions, for what it's worth.
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19-04-2015, 01:43 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
What exactly are your objections to what she did before you two met?
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19-04-2015, 01:46 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
This is all sounding very familiar Dodgy
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19-04-2015, 01:46 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
Can I have her phone number? Drinking Beverage

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19-04-2015, 01:56 PM (This post was last modified: 19-04-2015 02:14 PM by undergroundp.)
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
*EDIT AGAIN*

Too lazy to write this again.

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
-Guybrush Threepwood-
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19-04-2015, 02:08 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
What about ur past? I'm sure there are things in ur closet that is not so appealing to ur gf either! Sheesh so she isn't allowed a past or to make mistakes? Wow

Eta: so if u don't like it break up with her to give her a future. Its not fair to her for u to hang on if u can't get past this
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19-04-2015, 02:11 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
OP, this may surprise you, but not every woman out there is going to remain a virgin until you have sex with her (if and when). They will, in fact, have sex with other people. If your girlfriend having relationships with other people prior to you bothers you, then, by all means, dump her... and grow up.

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19-04-2015, 02:11 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
Better break up with her fast, give her a chance to find someone who's not as insecure and jealous over petty things Yes
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19-04-2015, 02:21 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
(19-04-2015 01:28 PM)pauloroberts Wrote:  This is a huge shock to me and what bothers me is that I've invested 3 years of my life with someone whose values and mine most certainly do not gel.

After 3 years you should have a pretty good understanding of her core values.

Quote:I'm a firm believer that her sexual history has a lot to do with the ability to pair bond (or should I say, the inability),

She apparently hasn't given you much reason to doubt her ability to pair bond before this discussion.

Quote:and I have seen enough evidence of this with my friends and their girlfriends to confirm it.

She's not them. Maybe she is just not the kind that can settle down. Maybe she has found something with you that she didn't with others. You may want to figure that out before making a big decision either way.

Quote:I hate to think about it as 3 years is a long time, but I guess I probably will be finishing with her, at least that's how I'm feeling right now. But I just want to get people's opinions, for what it's worth.

You should talk to her about this; perhaps also to a counselor (with or without her).

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19-04-2015, 02:30 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
You were a virgin before you met her and you expected the same????


Guess what ??

People have sex.

....

Her sexual past is HER sexual past -- and it's not your business...

You asking about it borders on voyeurism -- and if you don't like watching (or thinking about it) don't fucking ask......

......

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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