Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
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19-04-2015, 02:32 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
Dodgy

Her past is part of what made her who she is today. Apparently you liked her enough to stay with her for three years. She wasn't obligated to tell you her history, and she trusted you enough to do so. If you're willing to give her up over something this petty, then you don't deserve her.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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19-04-2015, 02:56 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
You're a bit of an ass in my opinion. I really don't see why you care so much about who she had sex with before you got together.
I without a doubt agree with Smerc on this. If you can't deal with it, then she deserves someone less insecure.

(30-03-2015 08:47 PM)Colourcraze Wrote:  IT'S THE HOLY GHOST oooOOOOOOOOOOooooooo
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19-04-2015, 02:56 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
yes, break up with her, I would hate to hear that she wasted her life with some judgy asshole boyfriend Dodgy


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19-04-2015, 03:17 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
(19-04-2015 01:28 PM)pauloroberts Wrote:  My girlfriend and I were watching some romantic comedy the other day (not my idea, trust me), and the topic of sexual history came up. So we ended up talking about it, and it turns out that she's got quite a past.

She's 27 and here is just some of what she told me...

Her first time was when she was 17
When I asked her how many men she's had sex with she couldn't tell me but when I asked if it was over 20 (jokingly) she said oh yes, way more
The first time she did anal was at the age of 18
She has had a threesome on 3 separate occasions
She has kissed girls in clubs many times
She was a member of fetlife for a couple of years
She mentioned something about doing porn

Those are the highlights but she mentioned quite a lot of other occasions and people.

This is not OK. I've been with her for 3 years and I had no idea about any of this. I always had a feeling about her but I really didn't think it was like this. This is a huge shock to me and what bothers me is that I've invested 3 years of my life with someone whose values and mine most certainly do not gel.

I don't really want to break up with her, but at the same time I can't imagine staying with her and being OK with this. It's going to nag away at me, I know it. I'm a firm believer that her sexual history has a lot to do with the ability to pair bond (or should I say, the inability), and I have seen enough evidence of this with my friends and their girlfriends to confirm it.

I hate to think about it as 3 years is a long time, but I guess I probably will be finishing with her, at least that's how I'm feeling right now. But I just want to get people's opinions, for what it's worth.

Well, you are judged by the company you keep.

Someone might mistake you for being open minded and fun.

Oh and "Paulo" just some friendly words of advice ...don't be a dick on TTA and we'll be cool.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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19-04-2015, 03:22 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
(19-04-2015 03:17 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Oh and "Paulo" just some friendly words of advice ...don't be a dick on TTA and we'll be cool.

Just squash him now. We all know where this is going to end up.

#sigh
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19-04-2015, 03:35 PM (This post was last modified: 19-04-2015 03:38 PM by ELK12695.)
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
(19-04-2015 02:56 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  yes, break up with her, I would hate to hear that she wasted her life with some judgy asshole boyfriend Dodgy

Don't think he's deserving of being called an "asshole" because you disagree with his view on relationships. Keep your composure.

Unless it's Wicked Dick. Then go ahead. Thanks, Rev.

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19-04-2015, 03:42 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
Inner insecurities are probably what's digging at you. Afraid you can't give her the same pleasures of her past and that she'll cheat on you.

Confidently give her the D and don't sweat it.
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19-04-2015, 03:47 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
What others have done in their past prior to meeting you is not your business. I've had to go through this same conversation with my own boyfriend who treated me with the same contempt as you are beginning to with your girlfriend. And I did WAAAAAY less in my past.

But whether she's been with 1 other person or over 20, unless she's been unfaithful to you or done anything else that directly affects your relationship with her, it's not your business or place to judge her.

If it took her three years to finally open up about that, you should be honored that she trusted you enough to finally talk about it. When my boyfriend told me he "didn't think I was that type of person," I felt insanely insecure and actually ashamed in myself - and I was already over dwelling over past misgivings.

I then talked to him later about it and told him that I refuse to be treated like some dirty person and if he couldn't accept me for the person I was now, then he didn't deserve to have me at all. It was a hump, but he eventually got over it because it honestly doesn't matter.

If you've been with her for three years, you should know her by now for who she is. You were obviously fine with her before knowing any of this. Maybe even emotionally secure. Anything she tells you about her past shouldn't change your opinion of her whatsoever at this point. If it does, you don't deserve her.

Point blank.

We are eternal beings. Endings are not in our destiny.
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19-04-2015, 03:58 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
Unless she has a history of cheating... IDK what the problem is.

Although, Id be able to give you a clearer, more concise answer after studying her porn video.
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19-04-2015, 04:10 PM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
I'm with Cosmos. She hasn't admitted to being a habitual cheater.

Other than that... I don't see the problem here. Sounds to me like you're in for a good ride.
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