Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
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21-04-2015, 01:12 AM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
My first thought is that in 3 years you are just NOW having this conversation!? But it is sooo important to you. Dump her and learn how to get to know someone before you get in another long term relationship. Huge fail. Sleepy

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21-04-2015, 01:18 AM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
(21-04-2015 12:05 AM)WhiskeyDebates Wrote:  You are right in that you don't have the same morality. She seems like a strong self confidant woman who knows what she likes and your a self entitled, judgmental, insecure little man child that still thinks "morality" has something to do with a penis.

... The only weird bit is that she hasn't booted his sorry ass long before now...

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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21-04-2015, 01:39 AM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
(21-04-2015 12:05 AM)WhiskeyDebates Wrote:  You know....every time I read something you have written I can't help but see that stereotypical little 14 year old dumb cunt yelling "faggot" over and over during a Halo match and masturbating to anime characters.
I'm not 14 anymore, although I still, in fact, do both these things, for your information. Actually, I didn't do these things when I was 14. Huh.
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21-04-2015, 06:39 AM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
(20-04-2015 10:25 PM)BlackMason Wrote:  I've been away for a very long time. Greetings, I'm back.

So my post caused quite a stir. Got one clown saying:

(19-04-2015 05:25 PM)Clockwork Wrote:  By all means, dazzle us with your fantastic fucking insight, then.

Ok then I will. We've got a guy who's clearly uncomfortable with his girlfriends sexual history. So I'm going to be as objective as I can. You see, the OP is looking for advice on what HE should do. Therefore, analysing the situation from a subjective perspective is a misdiagnosis. I think the OP was looking for some positive reinforcement of some sort.

Let's be honest, the sexual history of his girlfriend is not normal. I'm not saying that it is not healthy. I'm not saying that it should not be done. I'm not saying that it is wrong. I'm not saying that it is immoral. What I am saying is that it is not typical of the norm. It is strange. So I got pissed off when people started branding his discomfort as an insecurity. If his girl came out with the news that she was a rehabilitated axe murderer, would his discomfort warrant the label insecure? No. What's the common link here? Abnormality is the common link here. It is the abnormality that JUSTIFIES his discomfort. Are you following me?

Then another mentioned that not all women are going to be virgins when dude meets them. Seriously? Really? The problem here is about an abnormal sexual history not a goddamn sexual history.

I do not believe that this was a case of OP trying to adopt other peoples views. A lot of you are Ok with someone with that kind of sexual history. The point here is that OP is not. This thread was NOT about YOU and how you feel about outlier sexual histories. It was about OP. His sexual history appetite is clearly a lot more conservative than the lot of you. Is he wrong for that? No, he's not fucking wrong for that. On what rational basis are you wronging him for that?

Is he slut shaming? No, he is not slut shaming. All he is doing is voicing out some discomfort he has based on his sexual history appetite. If OP had said I prefer big booty bitches over big titty bitches, would that constitute big titty bitch shaming? NO. And FUCK NO. He prefers a more conservative sexual history from my read. I could be wrong but at least I kept it real. I kept it objective.

So how's that, clockwork? By the way Chas, disingenuity is a word. Remember I'm not American so I can actually spell.

You just compared being sexually promiscuous to being an ax murderer...that is not keeping it obective that's keeping it stupid.

The OP isn't comfortable with his girlfriend's sexual past then he should dump her...for both of them. If people here are not comfortable with the OP's views on sex, they should tell him. If you don't like it you should make a long list of stupid shit and call everyone disengenuous. If I think your post is stupid, I should make this post. Wink

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21-04-2015, 07:03 AM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
(21-04-2015 06:39 AM)Losty Wrote:  You just compared being sexually promiscuous to being an ax murderer...that is not keeping it obective that's keeping it stupid.

Ah yes, I thought someone would mention this. Losty, that analysis is very shallow and misses the point I was making completely. The reason I chose such a drastic point was to highlight the underlying principle. Discomfort. My analysis was not intended to compare sex with anything. In my little side point, sex stopped being the subject and comfort/discomfort took the spotlight. Do you get it? Look deeper and stop trying to fault on surface level issues. Learn analytical skills.

(21-04-2015 06:39 AM)Losty Wrote:  The OP isn't comfortable with his girlfriend's sexual past then he should dump her...for both of them. If people here are not comfortable with the OP's views on sex, they should tell him. If you don't like it you should make a long list of stupid shit and call everyone disengenuous. If I think your post is stupid, I should make this post. Wink

I agree that dude should leave chick. But with the rest of your response, I disagree to some extent as I'll explain. The dude didn't come here to have his sex views changed or challenged. Again, here's where analytical skills become important. Therefore responses that are largely based on bashing his sexual views are irrelevant. It is true that people should post what they like. But this is very trivial especially when relevence comes to question.

By the way, I'm not stupid nor do I make lists of stupid things. What I am is on point and you don't like that.

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21-04-2015, 07:11 AM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
(20-04-2015 10:25 PM)BlackMason Wrote:  You see, the OP is looking for advice on what HE should do. Therefore, analysing the situation from a subjective perspective is a misdiagnosis. I think the OP was looking for some positive reinforcement of some sort.

I agree that he wanted advice on what he should do. The common thread in the replies is that he should re-evaluate why he feels the way he does and consider adjusting his priorities. When asking for advice you need to be prepared for advice you don't want to hear. Providing an echo chamber just for the sake of it would not be productive in the long run.

(21-04-2015 07:03 AM)BlackMason Wrote:  The dude didn't come here to have his sex views changed or challenged.

He asked for people's opinions on the situation. He got them. If he only wants opinions that agree with him then he can try asking elsewhere.

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21-04-2015, 07:23 AM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
It really sounds like the guy made some dumbass assumptions -- that he was getting "new in the package" -- and copped an attitude when he found out it's "used merchandise".

If it's that important -- don't ya think you'd ask BEFORE getting into a relationship????

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21-04-2015, 07:29 AM (This post was last modified: 21-04-2015 07:32 AM by Losty.)
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
(21-04-2015 07:03 AM)BlackMason Wrote:  
(21-04-2015 06:39 AM)Losty Wrote:  You just compared being sexually promiscuous to being an ax murderer...that is not keeping it obective that's keeping it stupid.

Ah yes, I thought someone would mention this. Losty, that analysis is very shallow and misses the point I was making completely. The reason I chose such a drastic point was to highlight the underlying principle. Discomfort. My analysis was not intended to compare sex with anything. In my little side point, sex stopped being the subject and comfort/discomfort took the spotlight. Do you get it? Look deeper and stop trying to fault on surface level issues. Learn analytical skills.

(21-04-2015 06:39 AM)Losty Wrote:  The OP isn't comfortable with his girlfriend's sexual past then he should dump her...for both of them. If people here are not comfortable with the OP's views on sex, they should tell him. If you don't like it you should make a long list of stupid shit and call everyone disengenuous. If I think your post is stupid, I should make this post. Wink

I agree that dude should leave chick. But with the rest of your response, I disagree to some extent as I'll explain. The dude didn't come here to have his sex views changed or challenged. Again, here's where analytical skills become important. Therefore responses that are largely based on bashing his sexual views are irrelevant. It is true that people should post what they like. But this is very trivial especially when relevence comes to question.

By the way, I'm not stupid nor do I make lists of stupid things. What I am is on point and you don't like that.

This is a forum on the internet. Its purpose is discussion. Its members all have the right to discuss things regardless of the desires of the person who created the thread. We are not obligated to respond however you or the OP wants. Why do you think that just because he didn't come here to have his sex views challenged means we shouldn't challenge them? Theists usually don't come here to have their religious views challengedand I haven't seen you ranting about that.
Also, I know you are not stupid. I just think your point is stupid. The comparison is also relevant. If my significant other told me after 3 years that before he met me had had consumed over 50,000 slurpees would be a much better comparison.

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21-04-2015, 07:52 AM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
(20-04-2015 10:25 PM)BlackMason Wrote:  By the way Chas, disingenuity is a word.

Thank you for so kindly pointing out that it is a word. It wasn't about spelling, but word choice.

(20-04-2015 10:25 PM)BlackMason Wrote:  Remember I'm not American so I can actually spell.

I'm not an American, either, but your intended insult is noted.

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21-04-2015, 07:54 AM
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
I'd like to clarify some things for the benefit of the feebleminded.

Soon after we met, I did ask her some stuff about her past, and she told me that there wasn't really much to tell. Which means that she lied, but I choose to focus more on the fact of what her history is, rather than her lie. But she did lie and i'm clarifying that now.

So there's that, but the point is that if anybody was curious to know if I had asked her already, they should have just asked me, instead of automatically assuming that I never did. I wonder why they chose to make the assumption that I'd never asked.

Nowhere in my post have I said anything that implies that I'm shaming her or anything like that. In fact I haven't said a single negative thing about her, I only said that we're incompatible. I could have very easily mentioned that she'd lied, but I chose to focus on the more important issue instead.

I am not seeking a virgin. To say that I am is to make a false dichotomy and a strawman argument. Anyone with common sense would not make such a silly assumption, nor did I imply that I'm a prude or that I only want a virgin. I expected better from a "thinking" forum.

When I said "this is not OK " (about her sexual history) what I obviously (obvious to people with brains) meant was that this is not acceptable to me. She has the free will and autonomy to choose her actions and I have the free will and autonomy to choose my standards and boundaries. I am a strong and independent man and I reserve that right, thank you very much.

Someone made a comparison between her sexual past and being an ex axe murderer. This was an appropriate comparison for the simple reason that her actions go way beyond normal levels of promiscuity. Those with intelligence can see that the common factor is that they are both very unusual, to say the least, and that therefore it's not unreasonable to find it shocking. For very different reasons, granted, but the point is made, in a deliberately absurd way.

Perhaps I should have clarified that I was seeking intelligent feedback. I take full responsibility for not making this clear, but I'm making it clear now, so now you know.

Do carry on...

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