Someone just reminded me... Let's talk about ZOMBIES!
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07-03-2013, 07:47 PM
RE: Someone just reminded me... Let's talk about ZOMBIES!
Quite glad you asked; I have TWO plans.


Plan A:


I live in the corner of a neighborhood that is surrounded on three sides by miles of woods, mountains and a river. Up the road, there is a well that supplies the entire corner of the neighborhood and is operated by someone living in one of the 50 or so houses that make up this "corner".


In the case of a zombie apocalypse (or an *impending* apocalypse), I intend to approach the residents of my neighborhood - many of whom I know personally - and submit my plan to bar-off the road directly beside the well. When they see the logic in my overall plan (which I'll get to in a moment), they will agree and we will construct a wall of sandbags on the road near the well. This will become "The Gate" - the new entry-way of our “compound”.


Within this neighborhood, I know that our small population includes 3 grade-school teachers, 1 college professor, 2 doctors, 3 paramedics, 2 avid bow-hunters, one construction worker...and a bunch more people who's occupations I do not know, but are very likely to be useful none the less. We also have 11 children ages twelve or under, and 5 women of breeding age (between fifteen and twenty-five - this figure does not include fertile women over the age of 25). Being that this is Virginia, we have a plethora of usable firearms, including - but not limited to - 1 ammunition reloader. We have several vehicles which are only to be used in case of an emergency (medical or tactical), and 2 horses. Directly across the river (walking/seeing distance from the compound), there is a farm that breeds cows, pigs and chickens. If alliances can be made, a deal will be brokered and this farm will become an extension of the compound (a "sister compound") from which we receive the majority of our meats, milk and crops. (Crops can also be grown inside the main compound)


Communication:


All homes/establishments within the compound will be connected via CB radio (the only means of electronic communication after a catastrophic event). To coincide with this, there will be a code system (a system of emergency) in place which the population will be extensively educated on. This code system will be as follows:


Code Blue:
Medical emergency. Medical assistance is immediately required.


Code Orange:
Suspicious activity has been detected near the perimeter of the compound. Residents are advised to be alert for a possible elevation in warning levels.


Code Red:
Security breach. Hostile persons have entered the compound. All females, minors, and any male not assigned to active duty must go on immediate “lockdown” (women, children and non-active men must remain indoors with their homes secure). All men on active duty must be armed and respond to the “hot zone” with immediacy. Threat may be neutralized with deadly force only if necessary. If unnecessary, the hostile person or persons will be taken into custody before being brought before a community council to have their fate decided. (This is a mandatory observation of equal rights. Any willful action that impedes the individual’s rights will be subject to severe reprimand)


Code Black:
Extreme security breach. Residents must go on immediate lockdown. During a Code Black scenario, hostile attackers are to be met with indiscriminate and deadly force. All targets are to be killed on sight; no prisoners are to be taken.


Police Force:


To go along with the code system, we will have several guards working in shifts positioned at designated posts at all hours - day or night. There will be no less than 2 guards at the front gate, heavily armed with large-caliber assault weapons (of which there are a disgustingly awesome amount in VA). During the day, the residents are free to wander about as they please, but must be sure to keep on alert as they go about their daily activities. At night, however, there will be armed guards assigned to walk the roads within a designated “sector” (a specific section) of the neighborhood. Each sector will be assigned a name (Sector Alpha, Sector Bravo, Sector Charlie, Sector Delta, etc.), and will be occupied by one armed guard on foot. Each guard will carry a weapon, a secondary weapon (optional), a flashlight, and an emergency whistle. There will also be sheltered CB stations positioned in strategic locations with which the guard(s) may alert the entirety of the compound in case of an emergency situation. Residents are allowed to roam about freely at night - just as in the day - provided they are over the age of 15. (Any children found outside after curfew will be apprehended, at which point their parents will be summoned via “direct-connect” CB radio)


Prisoner containment:


Prisoners will be housed in a modified outdoor tool-shed that sits upon an empty patch of woods near the center of the compound. They will be provided with (very) basic necessities and guarded by armed guards for the duration of their stay. (There will also be a non-functional camcorder mounted inside the shed, serving more as a psychological advantage than anything else) As soon as possible (most likely the very next morning), the entire community will gather to discuss the fate of the prisoner(s). All sides/arguments will be taken into consideration, and when a decision is reached, it will be enacted accordingly.


Amnesty -
If it is decided that a prisoner should be set free, he will be given a “gift basket” (tongue firmly in cheek) containing one day’s supply of food and water, then escorted by armed guards to an area no less than 1 mile from the Gate, at which point he will be released.


Execution -
If it is decided that a prisoner is to be executed for whatever reason (personally, I prefer this method), he is to be escorted by no less than 3 men - a medical practitioner, the assigned executioner, and a trusted witness - to the most secluded corner of the compound (far down a hill at the riverside, away from any possible onlookers) and executed humanely (last wishes will be respected accordingly). After it is determined that he is deceased, his body will be dumped into the river where it will float far out of site.


Residents:


The children will be taught by the teachers on a daily basis, just as they are today, with a break on weekends. Being that we live in an ecologically rich place, I imagine the outdoors will play a major role in the children’s education. They’ll learn basic things like cooking, cleaning, preparing food, etc., but they will also (and as an atheistic rationalist, I’ll make damn sure of this) learn a great deal about how the world itself actually works; including science (and it’s method) and advanced mathematics.


Women may do as they wish (just as they do in today’s society), but for practical purposes, there will need to be basic guidelines in place. It sucks to admit it, but nature is sexist. Men are stronger, women tend to be weaker. As such, the women will be encouraged to do typical “womanly” activities, such as maintaining their homes, helping/teaching the children, things of that nature. (It’s worth mentioning, however, that one of the 3 paramedics mentioned above is a female, and these skills are obviously useful)


The men will be geared more toward physical activities such as gathering firewood, hunting animals, policing/protecting the compound, etc.


Keep in mind, though, that these gender-specific activities are only relevant to the overall community and how it may benefit as a whole. What people choose to do in their free-time is none of my concern. (It’s worth noting that ALL the time is free-time, except for during emergency situations)


Leadership:


President -
Being that it’s my hypothetical scenario and I’m the only guy I trust to be rational and objective enough to make all of this happen, naturally I’ve assigned myself as leader of the compound. “The President”, they call me (you’re so jelly and you know it). All of the residents will have equal say in community decisions, and all viewpoints will be measured carefully and without bias. But, even so, the last word comes from me. And, in this fantasy world, everyone has realized that I’m worthy of this position, so it’s no biggie for them. Besides, in the end, the President is just another one of the group. His only unique attribute is that he has the final say.


Vice President -
In a real-life situation, I’d have to get to know a lot of the people better, but as it stands, I very much trust the insight and the mental competence of my neighbor; the “bow hunter” I mentioned earlier. He will serve as my second-in-command, and my go-to guy for any needed advice. He is to be 100% privy to all of my plans and ideas, and will assume the position of leadership if/when I am no longer able to (I intend to be on “active duty” like everyone else, and thus, in clear danger of being killed).


Residents -
All others are simply “residents”, in that they hold no special position of leadership or decision-making. However, as I’ve stated several times already, this community operates as a unit, and as such, “their vote counts”, so to speak.


Necessities:


Food and water have already been covered. In addition, there is a massive generator located next to the well that - along with continued operation of the well-house - will keep water pumping for several months. After that time, however, secondary measures must be taken to procure liquid sustenance. I’m thinking that all homes should be required to have a functioning rain-water-catching device. There is also a stream from which fresh water can be gathered from underground.


As long as the well keeps pumping, we will have functioning facilities. Unlike in the city, we don’t have a sewer system; we have septic tanks. These fill to a certain point with waste until they empty themselves deep into the ground. Thus, they require no maintenance. Electricity will likely be scarce, as only a few of us have generators and even then; we wouldn’t have enough fuel (all fuel is designated for emergency-response vehicles only). But, electricity is a trivial accessory, ultimately. I know that ALL of us have some form of fireplace or woodstove to keep our houses warm, and in the day, we have no need for electric lights/entertainment. I’d hate (HATE) to lose my iPod or laptop to dead batteries, but we should all be out working anyway.


Alcohol is strictly prohibited except when given clearance by the President on special occasions. This may include someone’s birthday (only those within the household may indulge), or something of that sort. It’s not that I don’t enjoy a dance with the animal myself; but the community as a whole - especially those on active duty - must be ready to act in an emergency situation at ALL TIMES. If we’re going to function as a unit, we can’t have all the guards drunk when a gang of plunderers invades the compound or a tipsy doctor trying to stitch up little Sally’s head after she fell down the stairs.


Guidelines:


The community will have no general “rules” (this does not include the ones listed above), but rather, a simple set of “guidelines” for daily behavior. These will be pretty basic. Mostly, “be smart and don’t be a dick”. This means being sure of what’s beyond your target when you’re hunting a squirrel (“yeah, you got dinner, but you shot my wife through the living-room window”), don’t steal shit from your neighbor’s vegetable garden (it all goes into the community pot anyway), things like that.



Overall, the residents will work as a community. We will be a well-oiled, constantly-maintained machine that will keep chugging along after the apocalypse befalls the rest of the world. There will of course be issues regarding reproduction which, in a small community like this, will bring into question the definition of what a “relationship” is. Many here are connected to a partner in some way, and if the gene pool is to diversify, some may have to consider the difficult prospect of allowing another man/woman to sleep with their wife/husband.


I’ve thought very deeply about this entire scenario - much more so than I’ve bothered to detail here - and I’ve tied up every single loose-end except this. The issue of reproduction stopped me dead in my tracks. Not simply because it could mean an outright shift in the social structure (as mentioned above), but because, believe it or not, I do live up to my user-name. I don’t particularly care for an on-going society. I don’t mind constructing a community, it’d be a good project, but do I want it to go further than that? Do I want us to bear children and begin another generation that will keep us going? Or do I simply want us to work together for as long as we can until we slowly die out like a fading candle? I imagine that’s an issue that could only be sufficiently addressed and resolved if this entire scenario were to actually come to fruition. And, as always, it would be a decision made by the community.


Plan B:


Everything I just said turns out to be harder to get rolling than I had imagined. Before I can even tell the neighbors what my plan is, they all grab their clothes, grab their children, grab their dog and, screaming, pile into their minivans and SUVs and high-tail it out of town. So, there’s me, left alone in the middle of the woods.


In that case, I am incredibly resourceful, and have been planning for a catastrophic event for years. My home will be my compound (but I wont bore you with the plethora of details), but if I must go out into the world for some unknown reason, my plan is as follows:


Attire:


1) Military-grade tactical boots (waterproof) with wool socks underneath (for the Winter months).


2) Tactical S.W.A.T pants (more pockets and pouches) with modified shin-guards underneath. (I will not go into detail about my “modifications”, but I assure you, ho ho, they are intimidating)


3) Champion brand fitness boxers - heat-retention and moisture wicking, with full-flexibility.


4) Champion brand fitness shirt (long-sleeved or short-sleeved) - heat-retention and moisture wicking, with full flexibility and body-hugging sexiness.


5) Modified motocross vest - complete with arm, chest and shoulder guards.


6) Bullet-proof S.W.A.T tactical vest.


7) Pair of fingerless, leather-knuckled tactical gloves. (Knuckle pads also modified)


8) Hats optional, depending on conditions.


9) Survival backpack filled with a small amount of food, a small amount of water and survival tools. This includes fire starters, tactical flashlights, batteries, rope and/or string, duct tape (highly important), things of that nature.


Weaponry:


All of the “modifications” to my attire served a protective purpose. This includes being modified into unsuspecting weapons. In an end-of-the-world scenario, you must utilize every body-part to it’s full potential. This means turning anything from your foot to your elbow into a reinforced weapon. However, this section will be about the obvious weaponry.


1) Assault rifle (In my hands). My choice would be an AR-15 or one of it’s tactical variants. The rifle is strong, light, reliable, and is effective at long ranges.


2) Remington 870 pump-action shotgun (On my back). The Remington is a police standard, and has a lovely history in the field. It is said that enemy soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan fear the Marines carrying the 870 more than any others. It is capable of breaking through doors, killing a single or possibly multiple enemies at long range (with the correct ammunition), and is the perfect backup when your rifle is no longer effective for whatever reason. I would choose an automatic for obvious reasons, but historically, a pump-action is much more reliable than an automatic. It is much less likely to become jammed - which would be a death-sentence in a combat situation.


3) Glock 21 (On my hip). It’s the perfect sidearm, in my opinion. Glock’s history is extensive, and it’s renowned for being a reliable gun. That’s why police forces all over America use it. The 21 model carries .45 caliber rounds - 230 grain, hollow-point self defense rounds, to be exact. I’ve tricked out my Glock with night-sites (green sites that glow in the dark) and a customized grip to fit my larger hands. This, by the way, will be secured in a tactical holster that locks the gun in place and will not release it until a lever is pushed. This keeps any homeless post-apocalyptic cannibals from grabbing it.


4) Bolo Machete, matt black (On my right thigh). This has any number of uses in a survival situation. It’s a tool, it’s a weapon, it’s everything.


5) Smith & Wesson tactical knife (One on left calf, one in vest). Like the machete, it’s a tool and a weapon.


6) Tactical Flashlight. Some versions of these flashlights use an ultra-bright LED bulb, which will never burn out, and a “self defense” setting. With one click on this setting, the light will flash in rapid succession in order to disorient/blind an attacker. With the correct lens filter and light-setting, one can even induce a seizure in the enemy.



So those are my two basic survival plans for the “zombie apocalypse”. They are subject to change according to the given circumstances.

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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07-03-2013, 07:55 PM
RE: Someone just reminded me... Let's talk about ZOMBIES!
(07-03-2013 06:49 PM)Chas Wrote:  Seriously, though, what is it with you people and zombies? No
I don't know... Blink

Perhaps it's because one never knows if it could happen, but it also seems "plausible" at times! I mean, if we look at all the crazy stuff religious people believe happened before, why not believe that zombies are going to rouse us from our sweet dreams one morning by busting through the door, frantically groping for an easy-to-hold part of our bodies, just trying to get a taste of our intoxicating flesh??

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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07-03-2013, 08:04 PM
RE: Someone just reminded me... Let's talk about ZOMBIES!
(07-03-2013 07:55 PM)Peanut Wrote:  
(07-03-2013 06:49 PM)Chas Wrote:  Seriously, though, what is it with you people and zombies? No

why not believe that zombies are going to rouse us from our sweet dreams one morning by busting through the door, frantically groping for an easy-to-hold part of our bodies, just trying to get a taste of our intoxicating flesh??
Happens to me all the time, Chas. Undecided

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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07-03-2013, 08:34 PM (This post was last modified: 07-03-2013 08:43 PM by Peanut.)
RE: Someone just reminded me... Let's talk about ZOMBIES!
(07-03-2013 07:47 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  Women may do as they wish (just as they do in today’s society), but for practical purposes, there will need to be basic guidelines in place. It sucks to admit it, but nature is sexist. Men are stronger, women tend to be weaker. As such, the women will be encouraged to do typical “womanly” activities, such as maintaining their homes, helping/teaching the children, things of that nature. (It’s worth mentioning, however, that one of the 3 paramedics mentioned above is a female, and these skills are obviously useful)


2) Tactical S.W.A.T pants (more pockets and pouches) with modified shin-guards underneath. (I will not go into detail about my “modifications”, but I assure you, ho ho, they are intimidating)
You put a lot of thought into your plan. I like your thinking. Perhaps each of our "compounds" will meet up and cross paths at one point and join forces. (We must always be prepared for anything and the possibility of having to move our compound must also be considered.) I think our compounds will mesh well together, and it'll help with the "reproduction issue" you brought up as it will bring more options of partnerships Smile

DON'T LIKE. DUTIES CAN BE DIVIDED BETWEEN MEN AND
WOMEN ON A CASE-BY-CASE BASIS. DON'T JUST WRITE OFF A WOMAN'S ABILITY TO
"HANDLE HER SHIT" IN A SEXIST GENERALIZATION OF WHAT 'MOST' WOMEN ARE
CAPABLE OF.


THAT WAS FUNNY.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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07-03-2013, 08:39 PM
RE: Someone just reminded me... Let's talk about ZOMBIES!
(07-03-2013 08:34 PM)Peanut Wrote:  
(07-03-2013 07:47 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  Women may do as they wish (just as they do in today’s society), but for practical purposes, there will need to be basic guidelines in place. It sucks to admit it, but nature is sexist. Men are stronger, women tend to be weaker. As such, the women will be encouraged to do typical “womanly” activities, such as maintaining their homes, helping/teaching the children, things of that nature. (It’s worth mentioning, however, that one of the 3 paramedics mentioned above is a female, and these skills are obviously useful)

DON'T LIKE. DUTIES CAN BE DIVIDED BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN ON A CASE-BY-CASE BASIS. DON'T JUST WRITE OFF A WOMAN'S ABILITY TO "HANDLE HER SHIT" IN A SEXIST GENERALIZATION OF WHAT 'MOST' WOMEN ARE CAPABLE OF.


2) Tactical S.W.A.T pants (more pockets and pouches) with modified shin-guards underneath. (I will not go into detail about my “modifications”, but I assure you, ho ho, they are intimidating)


THAT WAS FUNNY.
and it'll help with the "reproduction issue" you brought up as it will bring more options of partnerships Smile

I see your subtext. Wink And I agree whole-heartedly. Thumbsup

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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07-03-2013, 08:44 PM
RE: Someone just reminded me... Let's talk about ZOMBIES!
(07-03-2013 08:39 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  I see your subtext. Wink And I agree whole-heartedly. Thumbsup
I fixed it Dodgy

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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07-03-2013, 08:52 PM
RE: Someone just reminded me... Let's talk about ZOMBIES!
(07-03-2013 08:34 PM)Peanut Wrote:  
(07-03-2013 07:47 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  Women may do as they wish (just as they do in today’s society), but for practical purposes, there will need to be basic guidelines in place. It sucks to admit it, but nature is sexist. Men are stronger, women tend to be weaker. As such, the women will be encouraged to do typical “womanly” activities, such as maintaining their homes, helping/teaching the children, things of that nature. (It’s worth mentioning, however, that one of the 3 paramedics mentioned above is a female, and these skills are obviously useful)


2) Tactical S.W.A.T pants (more pockets and pouches) with modified shin-guards underneath. (I will not go into detail about my “modifications”, but I assure you, ho ho, they are intimidating)
You put a lot of thought into your plan. I like your thinking. Perhaps each of our "compounds" will meet up and cross paths at one point and join forces. (We must always be prepared for anything and the possibility of having to move our compound must also be considered.) I think our compounds will mesh well together, and it'll help with the "reproduction issue" you brought up as it will bring more options of partnerships Smile

DON'T LIKE. DUTIES CAN BE DIVIDED BETWEEN MEN AND
WOMEN ON A CASE-BY-CASE BASIS. DON'T JUST WRITE OFF A WOMAN'S ABILITY TO
"HANDLE HER SHIT" IN A SEXIST GENERALIZATION OF WHAT 'MOST' WOMEN ARE
CAPABLE OF.


THAT WAS FUNNY.
Women are things. The President has spoken. Drinking Beverage


*Begins preparing for what is sure to be an inevitable war with the neighboring Peanut clan*

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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07-03-2013, 09:04 PM
RE: Someone just reminded me... Let's talk about ZOMBIES!
(07-03-2013 08:52 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  *Begins preparing for what is sure to be an inevitable war with the neighboring Peanut clan*
Run Drinking Beverage

And we don't like to be called a "clan." We will call ourselves a "congregation" just for the fun of it.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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07-03-2013, 09:13 PM
RE: Someone just reminded me... Let's talk about ZOMBIES!
(07-03-2013 09:04 PM)Peanut Wrote:  
(07-03-2013 08:52 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  *Begins preparing for what is sure to be an inevitable war with the neighboring Peanut clan*
Run Drinking Beverage

And we don't like to be called a "clan." We will call ourselves a "congregation" just for the fun of it.
And we call ourselves "not cannibals". Just to be ironic. Yes

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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08-03-2013, 04:26 AM (This post was last modified: 08-03-2013 04:37 AM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Someone just reminded me... Let's talk about ZOMBIES!
3 pages in and not one mention of AMC's The Walking Dead. ... pffft what kinda zombie fans are you. Tongue

Oops, see MuffinTop did mention it.

(07-03-2013 06:36 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  Also, zombies that are like the slow disgusting ones from the likes of The Walking Dead, meh. Sprinting aggressive zombies like those in 28 days/weeks later, terrifying.

The zombies in The Walking Dead may not be up to your athletic standards but the gore is pretty fucking awesome. Big Grin

(07-03-2013 07:47 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  Quite glad you asked; I have TWO plans.
...
So those are my two basic survival plans for the “zombie apocalypse”. They are subject to change according to the given circumstances.

2 words: Missile Silo

I am us and we is me. ... bitches.
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