Something funny
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10-01-2012, 01:09 PM (This post was last modified: 11-01-2012 02:30 PM by ghostexorcist.)
RE: Something funny
(10-01-2012 08:40 AM)Anel Vadren Wrote:  This requires a major "LOL!" Yeah, and I am a Marine Recon previously a Green Barret; oh, and I lost my legs protecting you. (Awaiting proof of actual huevos...) Those who boast about their military relations out of insecurity show their stupidity and undermine any huevos I might I have been willing to accept before hand. Now... you're just a clown to this blog. We all see who is spamming, Mr. Army.

Yes, you posted the funniest thing you've ever seen, which is hardly relevant to this forum - if anything THAT is spam. Regardless, I gave you some sources where you have the chance to prove any intellectual integrity you might have lost with your hilarious military statement. Grow up, please.

Wait a second, you want actual proof that I have balls? As in a picture? As in a picture of my balls? I thought homosexuality was frowned upon in your religion.

Joking aside, I've never heard of a spamming troll before. I guess the harsh environment of the internet has selected for spamming and trolling traits somewhere in your family lineage. Or, it could be that one of your fathers was a troll and your other father was a spammer. Although these two species are closely related, they are generally active in different areas at different times, so they usually do not mate. Since you are a hybrid on the order of Ligers and Mules, you are most likely sterile. Thank goodness for this as the internet doesn't need more creatures like you running around spamming and trolling on forums like this.
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12-01-2012, 09:42 AM
RE: Something funny
(07-01-2012 11:16 PM)yosemitesam Wrote:  Here's the answer to the Noah's Ark story, once and for all, so listen up.

Ready?
God has magical powers. Noah could've built a RAFT and every fucking animal would've fit on it, been fed, cared for, had their asses wiped, and all their shit disposed of. God would've just taken care of it with a wave of his hand (and maybe some cool magic words). Ever watch a magician pull a bunch of stuff out of his pants when there's no way it all coulda fit? Magic! See? As a matter of fact, this explains every un-explainable (inexplainable?) thing that happened in the bible. I'm surprised the theists don't see this.

I agree that if God exists he could have pulled this off. So I wonder then, why get all dramatic and flood the Earth while Noah and the animals are safe on a handmade wooden boat the size of a football field? If I was God I would have just willed it and every living creature other than Noah and the selected animals would have just disappeared.

Man I could have written a way cooler bible.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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12-01-2012, 02:39 PM
RE: Something funny
(12-01-2012 09:42 AM)germanyt Wrote:  Man I could have written a way cooler bible.

Right, huh? I mean, we know children learn by example, no matter what they're told. If god just made the evil folks disappear, rather than having soldiers savagely wipe them out with weapons of war, his 'children' might not be following his example, and the world might be in a little different shape...

"Religion is the binky of a teen-age humanity."
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12-01-2012, 02:52 PM
RE: Something funny
(12-01-2012 02:39 PM)yosemitesam Wrote:  
(12-01-2012 09:42 AM)germanyt Wrote:  Man I could have written a way cooler bible.

Right, huh? I mean, we know children learn by example, no matter what they're told. If god just made the evil folks disappear, rather than having soldiers savagely wipe them out with weapons of war, his 'children' might not be following his example, and the world might be in a little different shape...

Very good point. Perhaps I couldn't have done better. Maybe more entertaining but much less effective. Fear of slaughter would probably have a much bigger effect on the masses than the possibility of disappearing forever. I mean, they saw people get slaughtered but surely never saw someone disappear.

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12-01-2012, 03:10 PM
RE: Something funny
(08-09-2011 11:06 AM)theophilus Wrote:  
(07-09-2011 11:17 AM)lucradis Wrote:  Noah was ordered by God to gather two of every species of animal (Gen. 6:19) to bring on the ark. How did he get most of these animals from other parts of the world? It is highly unlikely that all the species of animals that have ever existed all lived near Noah. How were the animals loaded on the ark? Noah had 7 days, from the time the ark was finished, until the flood waters came, to get the animals on board.

Whoever wrote this obviously hasn't studied the Bible very carefully. Noah wasn't ordered to gather two of every species but two of every kind.

Someone hasn't read the Bible very carefully either.

"Two of every kind" refers to male and female.

Genesis 6:19
19 And of every living thing of all flesh, you shall bring two of every kind into the ark, to keep them alive with you; they shall be male and female.

Then the Bible states specifically how many of each animal to get: 14 of every clean animal as well as the birds and 2 of every unclean animal.

Genesis 7:2-3
2 You shall take with you of every clean animal by sevens, a male and his female; and of the animals that are not clean two, a male and his female; 3 also of the birds of the sky, by sevens, male and female, to keep offspring alive on the face of all the earth.

So, no... "kinds" has nothing to do with it. 6:19 is telling Moses to get males and females; not males and males or females and females. There were 14 EVERY clean animal as well as birds and 2 of EVERY unclean animal.

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12-01-2012, 03:41 PM
RE: Something funny
(12-01-2012 03:10 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  
(08-09-2011 11:06 AM)theophilus Wrote:  
(07-09-2011 11:17 AM)lucradis Wrote:  Noah was ordered by God to gather two of every species of animal (Gen. 6:19) to bring on the ark. How did he get most of these animals from other parts of the world? It is highly unlikely that all the species of animals that have ever existed all lived near Noah. How were the animals loaded on the ark? Noah had 7 days, from the time the ark was finished, until the flood waters came, to get the animals on board.

Whoever wrote this obviously hasn't studied the Bible very carefully. Noah wasn't ordered to gather two of every species but two of every kind.

Someone hasn't read the Bible very carefully either.

"Two of every kind" refers to male and female.

Genesis 6:19
19 And of every living thing of all flesh, you shall bring two of every kind into the ark, to keep them alive with you; they shall be male and female.

Then the Bible states specifically how many of each animal to get: 14 of every clean animal as well as the birds and 2 of every unclean animal.

Genesis 7:2-3
2 You shall take with you of every clean animal by sevens, a male and his female; and of the animals that are not clean two, a male and his female; 3 also of the birds of the sky, by sevens, male and female, to keep offspring alive on the face of all the earth.

So, no... "kinds" has nothing to do with it. 6:19 is telling Moses to get males and females; not males and males or females and females. There were 14 EVERY clean animal as well as birds and 2 of EVERY unclean animal.


I was aware but that just makes the story that much more ridiculous. Where did Noah get penguins?

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12-01-2012, 03:42 PM
RE: Something funny
(12-01-2012 03:41 PM)germanyt Wrote:  I was aware but that just makes the story that much more ridiculous. Where did Noah get penguins?

The zoo... duh.

<_<

But really... local fl*gets shot*

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12-01-2012, 03:49 PM (This post was last modified: 12-01-2012 03:53 PM by germanyt.)
RE: Something funny
(12-01-2012 03:42 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  
(12-01-2012 03:41 PM)germanyt Wrote:  I was aware but that just makes the story that much more ridiculous. Where did Noah get penguins?

The zoo... duh.

<_<

But really... local fl*gets shot*


So if the flood was local then that means the writtings in the bible are clearly devised of someone with little world view. An uneducated person who thought that the area of the flood was really worldwide. Since the story was written long after it happened then it's either the word of God (who you'd think would know his geography) or tall tales told for generations as bed time stories. A reason to discredit it altogether. Not to mention I believe the point of the flood, IIRC, was to eradicate sin and evil among mankind. All of mankind wasn't local.

If the flood was worldwide as described (higher than the tallest peaks) then where did the water come from and where did Noah get penguins and polar bears?

Also, how could water rise even locally to higher than any decent sized mountain? Even 500 feet of water would bury nearly all land on Earth. Or was an invisible barrier acting like a swimming pool around the area?

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

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12-01-2012, 03:55 PM
RE: Something funny
(12-01-2012 03:49 PM)germanyt Wrote:  So if the flood was local then that means the writtings in the bible are clearly devised of someone with little world view. An uneducated person who thought that the area of the flood was really worldwide. A reason to discredit it altogether. Not to mention I believe the point of the flood, IIRC, was to eradicate sin and evil among mankind. All of mankind wasn't local.

If the flood was worldwide as described (higher than the tallest peaks) then where did the water come from and where did Noah get penguins and polar bears?

If you really want to know, then you can read this. Warning! It's long.

Oh and germanyt, here is the special link just for us Smile

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12-01-2012, 04:09 PM
RE: Something funny
(12-01-2012 03:55 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  
(12-01-2012 03:49 PM)germanyt Wrote:  So if the flood was local then that means the writtings in the bible are clearly devised of someone with little world view. An uneducated person who thought that the area of the flood was really worldwide. A reason to discredit it altogether. Not to mention I believe the point of the flood, IIRC, was to eradicate sin and evil among mankind. All of mankind wasn't local.

If the flood was worldwide as described (higher than the tallest peaks) then where did the water come from and where did Noah get penguins and polar bears?

If you really want to know, then you can read this. Warning! It's long.

Oh and germanyt, here is the special link just for us Smile


Well I'm 3 paragraphs in and already not accepting it. Wasn't Psalms written like 400 years after Genesis was written? And like 2000 years after the flood happened?

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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