Son vs. Daughter
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
21-04-2014, 07:51 PM
RE: Son vs. Daughter
(21-04-2014 05:09 PM)nach_in Wrote:  Try to have a sincere talk with them, ask them why they act differently with you, and see if there actually is a double standard. If there is, then talk to them about it and see if you can get them to change it.

Try not to be confrontational, avoid the angsty teenager cliche. If they don't change, at least you'll know why things are as they are, and you can work from that.


I can try that, I just have a feeling they would say because you are 16, or I do have say in who your brothers date. I am may be wrong. It's worth a shot. Thank you.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
21-04-2014, 07:53 PM
RE: Son vs. Daughter
(21-04-2014 04:21 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  Sadly there is a bit of a double standard about teenage daughter and teenage sons when it comes to dating.

Have you mentioned to them how you feel?

I have quite a lot actually, it always ends up to be a big argument and fight.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
21-04-2014, 07:58 PM
RE: Son vs. Daughter
(21-04-2014 04:20 PM)LostandInsecure Wrote:  Maybe it's because he's 18 and you're not?


Logically that would be the first thing to come to. Although that's not the case. Sometimes you have younger siblings that are more mature and responsible and make better choices then the oldest sibling. That's my brother and I. We both have flaws in choices. I tried to rule that one out, but that's a point that you can't exactly rule out cause it's the truth. So yes true.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-04-2014, 08:38 AM
RE: Son vs. Daughter
(21-04-2014 07:53 PM)Im_Alexis Wrote:  
(21-04-2014 04:21 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  Sadly there is a bit of a double standard about teenage daughter and teenage sons when it comes to dating.

Have you mentioned to them how you feel?

I have quite a lot actually, it always ends up to be a big argument and fight.

The longer you can keep a calm head, and give sincere, thought out arguments the better your odds. Don't get snarky or sassy with them.

Make a list of the 'possible' arguments they could come up with--even the crazy ones, and think thru an answer to all of them.

Here's one for your list-- boys & cars...many boys like to show off, especially when trying to impress a date--this puts you in danger because teens just don't have much experience behind the wheel and that frontal lobe of the brain isn't fully developed. The front PASSENGER seat in the car is usually the seat where someone dies first....the spot where you would be sitting. ( NIH study) Cars also provide that perfect secluded place for strength to overpower you....I think you can guess where I'm going with this one, so we will leave it at that. 1 out 4 females are sexually assaulted by the time they are 18. ( 1 in 4 in USA )....so think of 3 of your girlfriends- statistically it will happen to one of you.

Moms & Dads worry about this stuff. The topic is more than 'just dating'.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Bows and Arrows's post
22-04-2014, 08:50 AM
RE: Son vs. Daughter
As a parent you only have to worry about one penis with your son. With your daughters you have to worry about all the penisus.

I have two daughters and a son. I worry much more about my girls getting taken advantage of, raped, physically hurt, etc by boys than I do about my son doing any of those things or being the hurt by those things. Parents are also wired to be more protective of the female offspring. Not sure why.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes wazzel's post
22-04-2014, 09:54 AM
RE: Son vs. Daughter
There is a harsh double standard there. However, you are 16 and not being able to date whoever you want right now is not the end of the world. Once you are 18 or out on your own, the world will open up with more possibilities. While I think they are being very overprotective, you are still young and will soon enough be able to make your own decisions regarding who you want to date.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-04-2014, 10:07 AM
RE: Son vs. Daughter
Your parents sound like over-protective assholes but you probably can't change them.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-04-2014, 10:18 AM
RE: Son vs. Daughter
(22-04-2014 10:07 AM)Minimalist Wrote:  Your parents sound like over-protective assholes but you probably can't change them.
Her parents sound like normal parents being explained by a normal 16 year old who has issues with her parents decisions.

My oldest is just a bit younger and I am not going to be cutting her loose to come and go as she pleases any time soon. My son, who is the youngest of my three will not get treated any different.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like wazzel's post
22-04-2014, 11:37 AM
RE: Son vs. Daughter
(22-04-2014 10:07 AM)Minimalist Wrote:  Your parents sound like over-protective assholes but you probably can't change them.

Actually, there are solutions to the situations I provided in the example about the car that *if* that was the issue her parents have she could solve. Ranging from taking separate cars and meeting someplace, or HER driving, to a free self defense class, or having dates in public places, meeting up with a group, having him spend some time with the family and give parents a chance to know the date.

Her ability to think thru these concerns, find solutions to them, and follow thru not only provide her parents with reassurance that their child is protected, but also brings a level of maturity to her that she is thinking about keep herself safe and making wise choices.

Keeping a calm head when discussing it, finding the solutions are all steps to adulthood. If she wants treated like a mature teen then she has to act like one (not saying that she isn't at this point).


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-04-2014, 07:12 PM
RE: Son vs. Daughter
(22-04-2014 11:37 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(22-04-2014 10:07 AM)Minimalist Wrote:  Your parents sound like over-protective assholes but you probably can't change them.

Actually, there are solutions to the situations I provided in the example about the car that *if* that was the issue her parents have she could solve. Ranging from taking separate cars and meeting someplace, or HER driving, to a free self defense class, or having dates in public places, meeting up with a group, having him spend some time with the family and give parents a chance to know the date.

Her ability to think thru these concerns, find solutions to them, and follow thru not only provide her parents with reassurance that their child is protected, but also brings a level of maturity to her that she is thinking about keep herself safe and making wise choices.

Keeping a calm head when discussing it, finding the solutions are all steps to adulthood. If she wants treated like a mature teen then she has to act like one (not saying that she isn't at this point).


I'm not the girl that runs wild with a guy. I respect my parents and their efforts on keeping me safe. I tend to stay home with my family if I'm with "a boyfriend". They have their moments when they are on my nerves but I try to respect them in every way possible. But I get what you are saying. Thank you for the input.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: