Spanking kids
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23-06-2011, 09:12 AM
Spanking kids
Spare the rod and spoil the child? http://www.nydailynews.com/opinions/2011...fects.html

The comments on this article makes me so angry! I wonder if there are many atheists spanking their kids.

"Never underestimate how narrow-minded, petty and stupid people can be". Mark Fulton, forum member
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23-06-2011, 10:19 AM
RE: Spanking kids
I... condone spanking. I had the shit beaten out of me as a child, so I don't condone belts or wrenches, but I believe there's a spot between verbal correction and child abuse that is fine. I've seen undisciplined children, they don't listen because there's no retaliation if they don't listen. Before you know it, you end up on Super Nanny. And Time Outs are a joke. Like I said, there's a different between spanking your child and backhanding them across the face. I don't see a problem with the former.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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23-06-2011, 10:30 AM
RE: Spanking kids
I didn't see the comments, but I've always been on the fence about this issue. I live on a military base, so there are nearly as much babies and small children as there are adults. I hear a four year old throwing a fit and I think "Holy crap just smack your kid and shut her up"...

I think I will try reasoning and non-corporal punishment with my children first (Like grounding, toys being taken away, reduction of privileges). Usually it seems that removing the child from the situation (I think temper tantrums are caused by over stimulation anyways), also seems to be effective. It worked with my very sensitive younger brother. Anytime he would throw a fit, I would simply yank him up and sit with him in the car, or just go back home. I would say, "If you act like a baby, I will treat you like a baby, babies don't get to go to the _____ (movies, baseball games, McDonald's)" Worked like a charm.

As far as the "spare the rod spoil the child" expression, I think it's outdated and quite frankly, stupid. It's right up there with beating your wife, or punching out someone's teeth who disagree with you.

Come on, people, leave that senseless violence where it belongs, ON THE INTERNET!

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23-06-2011, 10:58 AM
RE: Spanking kids
I'm big into the scientifically proven method of Triple P (positive parenting program). But I have to be realistic, there WILL be day's that I,ll have short temper and there WILL be days that my hand will be quicker then my patience.

According to triple P correctness, consistent behavior and clear borders are much more important then punishment.

Observer

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Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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23-06-2011, 12:46 PM
RE: Spanking kids
I don't hit my kid because I think it's wrong to hit someone smaller and weaker than you unless they intend and are capable of doing serious harm to you or someone you love. But I got to tell you... some days.... I'll like to just get a hammer...
I mean kids are great. Curiously I wonder how many ant spanking or pro spanking people have kids. I bet it makes all the difference. I always thought that I would never even want to hit my kid. Then I had one. The first couple of months I thought about it day and night, awake or asleep I tells ya. I still do once in a blue moon.

Personally I think parenting is all about consistency with both reward and punishment. I also think reward shouldn't always mean a treat or something tangible. The same way I think punishment shouldn't always be time outs or yelling. I like taking her toys partly because she hates it, and partly because she has some super fun toys that I like playing with... I mean... storing away safely...

Truth is, no matter what we do we're gonna F them up, it all just comes down to how badly.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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23-06-2011, 01:05 PM
RE: Spanking kids
(23-06-2011 12:46 PM)lucradis Wrote:  Personally I think parenting is all about consistency with both reward and punishment. I also think reward shouldn't always mean a treat or something tangible. The same way I think punishment shouldn't always be time outs or yelling.
I agree but with the first two things, but what do you mean by that last?

(23-06-2011 12:46 PM)lucradis Wrote:  I like taking her toys partly because she hates it, and partly because she has some super fun toys that I like playing with... I mean... storing away safely...
Basically this is what tits are all about: They where created for children, but dad gets to play with them. Big Grin

Observer

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Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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23-06-2011, 01:09 PM
RE: Spanking kids
I meant that I yell at her and call her names like dumb dumb and jerk face.Angel I think I ran out of words so I just filled it in. I just meant like shouting stuff such as "Hey get your finger out of your nose" and "I said don't touch that, holy F***" which I do all the time. Some prents really do scream at their kids, I don't do that, that's crazy. Besides at the rate my kids growing she's gonna be able to kick my ass in no time. Best to play it safe, as well as carrying around her favorite cookies in case she rages out at some point in her life... I live in fearConfused

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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23-06-2011, 01:26 PM
RE: Spanking kids
Interesting coincidence that you start this thread and I happened to come across this article

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/201...145908.htm

I was beaten very often as a child, and in my experience parents hit their children because
- They can. It's a very human propensity to take advantage of those weaker than us.
- They are lazy. There are plenty of other ways to discipline and educate a child, but they take more time and patience.
- They are abusive. A child can be really annoying and irritating, so who doesn't want to let off some steam by beating the crap out of him in retaliation? At least let's be honest with ourselves and recognize the reason you hit your child was to make yourself feel better, not to educate.

Reasons I am against beating children are
- It's illogical and contradictory. Is it ok for dad to hit mom? No. Is it ok for kid to hit parents? No. It is ok for kid to hit sibling? No. Is it ok for kid to hit other kids? No. Is it ok for adult to hit another adult? No. Is it ok for parent to hit kid? Yes. UH???
- It doesn't actually educate. I was hit countless times, and while I remember a lot of beatings, to this day I can't remember why I got the beating. I guess those beatings really taught me my lesson! Actually the best lessons I got from the beatings was to lie and deceive my parents to avoid beatings. Which isn't a great thing to be taught, now that I think about it.
- They are inconsistent. Most parents hit their child when they have had enough. Their level of tolerance doesn't depend on what the kid did, but on how their day was, how tired they feel, what problems they have, etc. So the kid knows that if he does X today, he's only going to be reprimanded, but he does the same thing tomorrow, he may get spanked for it. So the same action gets different punishments depending on what day it is.
- If you decided to have kids, I do expect you to put the required effort in it. I don't care if you are tired or stressed out, put some frigging effort in your parenting. Yes a slap will shut your kid up, but frankly, if you didn't have the patience to deal with your kid in a civilized way, you shouldn't have had a kid in the first place.

English is not my first language. If you think I am being mean, ask me. It could be just a wording problem.
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23-06-2011, 01:29 PM
RE: Spanking kids
Oh, I see... (fear has got you Smile)

I see spanking your kid as proof you don't have the situation under control. it's a sign of impotence over yourself and the kid. I agree it can (and will) happen to the best of us though.

I think it should be possible to manage the situation from the beginning as a wise and thinking adult. Especially since 90% of the kid's behavior is just mimicking yours. What I'm nervous about is getting confronted with my own imperfections.

Observer

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Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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23-06-2011, 01:40 PM
RE: Spanking kids
Yeah I got beat downs as kid too, and I remember doing bad things more so afterwards as a sort of f you. Not to mention I got so thick that even the metal spoon felt like butterflies tickling my ass after a while. The last time I got hit by a parental figure I remember laughing and saying "is that the best you can do? Put some heat into it". After that came grounding, to which I replied by jumping out of my window as often as my legs would take it.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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