Speaking English is hazardous to your health
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02-11-2015, 10:23 AM
Speaking English is hazardous to your health
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

The information in ancient libraries came from real minds of real people. The far more complex information in cells came from the far more intelligent mind of God.
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02-11-2015, 10:29 AM
RE: Speaking English is hazardous to your health
(02-11-2015 10:23 AM)theophilus Wrote:  The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

What about compared to people living in England?
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02-11-2015, 10:31 AM
RE: Speaking English is hazardous to your health
Similar but different.

THE SCIENTIST AND THE FROG

There once was a scientist who studied frogs. One day, the scientist put the frog on the ground and told it to jump. The frog jumped four feet.
So the scientist wrote in his notebook, “Frog with four feet, jumps four feet."

So the scientist cut off one of one of the frogs legs. The scientist told the frog to jump. Frog jumped three feet. So the scientist wrote in his note book, “Frog with three feet, jumps three feet."

So the scientist cut of another leg. He told the frog to jump. The frog jumped two feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook “Frog with two feet, jumps two feet."

The scientist cut off one more leg. He told the frog to jump. Frog jumped one foot. So the scientist wrote in his notebook, “Frog with one foot, jumps one foot."

So the scientist cut off his last leg.
"He said, "Frog jump. Frog jump. FROG JUMP!"
So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with no feet, deaf."

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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02-11-2015, 11:00 AM
RE: Speaking English is hazardous to your health
Everyone who drinks water dies.
Conclusion: water is bad for you
Similar with breathing oxygen

People . Who have more birthdays live longer.
Conclusion: have more birthday parties to live longer

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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02-11-2015, 11:05 AM
RE: Speaking English is hazardous to your health
[Image: 2.png]
Conclusion : Nicolas cage movies make people down

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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02-11-2015, 11:12 AM
RE: Speaking English is hazardous to your health
Another fun one is the correlation of whiskey sales and the wages of Presbyterian ministers salaries rising at the same rate......

https://books.google.com/books?id=Vj_QU3...l=en&sa=X&

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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