Stages of recovery...
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
03-04-2016, 10:50 AM
Stages of recovery...
So right now I'm in 2-3 stages in my deconversion process..,Anger and depression and acceptance.....I'm a recovering catholic. But I cannot afford therapy though. I have no fear of hell or damnation either. But how can I heal from my depression and process my anger in a healthy way? Any ideas or suggestions? And also I recently discovered that I'm queer too.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
03-04-2016, 11:01 AM
RE: Stages of recovery...
Possibly talking to a therapist would help. Maybe a support group. Or going to an atheist "church" to replace the sense of community you lost from religion.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
03-04-2016, 11:03 AM
RE: Stages of recovery...
Since you said you can't afford therapy...maybe you can rant at us?

Working through big changes take a while...be patient with yourself.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Anjele's post
03-04-2016, 11:11 AM
RE: Stages of recovery...
I like to journal too. And I call the recovery from religion hotline and the warmline too. And I like to listen to atheist podcasts, read atheist books and watch atheist videos. And I like to walk my dog around the block every day and go to the gym too. And I like to listen to music and watch porn too.....
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
03-04-2016, 11:15 AM
RE: Stages of recovery...
There are a lot of people here who came from religious backgrounds including several of us who were raised as Catholics...some of us were deeply involved and some not so much. There are a lot of perspectives here.

Unfortunately, therapy usually does come with a pricetag. It's not like going to the priest (if Catholic) or pastor/minister if some other flavor.

There is bound to be someone here who can help you get over your anger.

I didn't really experience any because I didn't really buy into the whole religion thing, no matter how hard the priests, nuns, and brothers tried to sell it to me.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
03-04-2016, 11:17 AM
RE: Stages of recovery...
Hello!

Hug
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
03-04-2016, 11:40 AM
RE: Stages of recovery...
Anjele....I was not raised catholic....but I converted to catholicism 3-4 years ago...because I was seeking truth....and I liked catholcism at first....for a while I felt at home there. I was taken in by the rituals...the smells and bells....incense,etc etc etc. But then all the bad history and rules about sex....no masturbation, no porn, no gay sex, etc etc....started to really bug and irritate me a lot. And the other day I watched a documentary called...Deliver us from evil...and that really sealed the deal and drove the nail into the coffin......the Catholic church is a cult...and its very toxic and unhealthy.....
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
03-04-2016, 11:43 AM
RE: Stages of recovery...
What are you angry at? Who are you angry at? Is there anything you can do about it? These are rhetorical questions, of course.

I was angry for a long time. There are things I cannot change, and I've accepted it. My choice is to be pissed off all the time or try and understand the world around me and move on. It ducking sucks at time, but dwelling on the negative doesn't help me with battling my depression. You know that smile, fake it til you make it mentality - you often realize you feel better.

I live in a closet. I attended Sunday School today. The message was irritating as fuck - it included elements of poor persecuted Christians and how "we" can show our faith despite the government trying to censor it. I sat there quietly and made it through remembering the teacher has the best of intentions - she was indoctrinated as a child and is trying to be the best person she knows how to be, and she was raised to believe that is by being a faithful Christian. There is nothing I can do to change her, and these are the circumstances I find myself in, so I'm going to make the best of it. I can find subtle ways to inject reason, sure, but for the most part I'm biding my time. And I vent here as necessary.

Find a way to make your perspective positive. What was positive about my experience this morning? I saw some people I knew years ago. I talked to kind people, was smiled at. I wasn't sitting alone in my apartment this morning. I got to sing - something I love. I wrote a poem during the sermon instead of removing my eyeball with a spork to get to my brain.

Find an outlet. Whether it's writing, drawing, music, photography, painting, running, hiking, spelunking. Explore the world around you. What is your next big adventure? Next little adventure? Don't have one? Then plan one. Go for a drive in the country or strike up a conversation at a coffee shop.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
03-04-2016, 11:44 AM
RE: Stages of recovery...
(03-04-2016 11:40 AM)jason197754 Wrote:  Anjele....I was not raised catholic....but I converted to catholicism 3-4 years ago...because I was seeking truth....and I liked catholcism at first....for a while I felt at home there. I was taken in by the rituals...the smells and bells....incense,etc etc etc. But then all the bad history and rules about sex....no masturbation, no porn, no gay sex, etc etc....started to really bug and irritate me a lot. And the other day I watched a documentary called...Deliver us from evil...and that really sealed the deal and drove the nail into the coffin......the Catholic church is a cult...and its very toxic and unhealthy.....

You chose your way in and have now chosen your way out. You had 3-4 years...I had nearly 20...Catholic schools and all. I didn't have a choice.

Chalk it up to lesson learned.

Yes, there are horrible things tied to the Catholic church. For a time you were lulled by the ritual of the mass. You figured it out though and are freeing yourself from it. You will be fine. Don't beat yourself up because you fell for it. Lots of people do. If they didn't, there wouldn't be cults at all.

You are going to be fine. Thumbsup

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Anjele's post
03-04-2016, 11:47 AM
RE: Stages of recovery...
Depending on how long you were a believer, losing god can induce grief the exact same way as losing a close loved one does.

Your mind is trained to go to the "god mindset" whenever it encounters certain triggers. But there is nothing to go to anymore.

So those are the occasions that make you sad, angry, make you want to blame someone, and so forth.

Over time, you will get triggered less and less.

There is not really anything you can do to speed up the process or halt it. It just runs it's course, therapists can't stop it either.

Understanding what you are going through helps a lot in coping.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: