Stephen Fry's Nose
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07-10-2012, 02:17 PM
Stephen Fry's Nose
I would like to make this thread as a formal apology to Stephen Fry's nose. Not to Stephen Fry himself, mind you, but to his nose specifically.

It was first that I encountered the nose while seeing V For Vendetta for the first time. It was not anything TOO out of the ordinary, but I confess to a mild and irrationally-based irritation at the peculiar way in which it curved to the left of the man's face. In the years following this first meeting, I encountered the nose on several subsequent occasions as I gently wandered through the land of Atheism into which I had been slipping. A podcast here, a video interview there, the newest edition to the Sherlock Holmes franchise...the nose was becoming a familiar figure in my travels.

I'll say again that I harbor no ill-will toward Stephen in any way; in fact I'm quite taken by his calm rationalism, his humor, and the soothing English demeanor in which he presents them both. But the nose...when it falls upon me, I feel a distinct chill creep up my spine. Many a night I have dared to creep to his sleeping chamber and stealthily - oh how stealthily indeed! - poke my head through the door. Hearing that the man was sleeping quietly in his bed, I would proceed to reach my lantern into the room; carefully, oh how carefully indeed, so as not to wake him from his slumber. I then undid the latch on the lantern - very carefully (for the hinges creaked) - until just a single ray of light shone out; no wider than the width of a hair; and cast it upon that vulture nose which vexted me so. For several long nights I did this without detection - ha! Would a madman have been so cunning as this!

...But I digress.

After some time, I had encountered yet another video on Youtube featuring Stephen and his usual insightful wit about religion and morality. Feeling that I must certainly be in the company of reasonable individuals, I decided to make a harmless, well-meaning observation about the nose itself. It read as follows:

"I hate to be the vain and aesthetically-obsessed bastard in the room, but, surely Stephen has made enough money to get his nose straightened...I mean; one would think."

Foolishly, I had no idea the Pandora's Box I had unwittedly flung open. My comment was immediately "down-voted" so many times that the page no longer displays it for anyone to see. If a passerby is bold enough to dare lay eyes upon it, the option is available, but his warning is very clear: "This comment has recieved too many negative votes. Enter at your own risk. Click here to view."

Those who have dared venture so far into the unknown and most depraved depths of the human psyche as to find my insidious comment resting amidst the mangled and disfigured likeness of it's own kind have returned to me with harsh words of reprimand.

"Why should he?" they ask, recieving an untold number of celebratory "up-votes" for their inquiry.

"I appreciate that, in the endless panel of heated debate over religion, morality, philosophy, hatred, history and love that is the comments list here, you choose to remark upon that. I find you very sweet Mr. Seeds of Hatred, your name does you no justice."

"FREE WORLD something god does not like."

“It's not all bad. Heightened self-consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self-loathing—they are not all bad. Those devils have been my angels. Without them I would never have disappeared into language, literature, the mind, laughter and all the mad intensities that made and unmade me.”
- Stephen Fry

Amidst the onslaught, I made repeated attempts to proclaim what was percieved to be my error, but to no avail. The torment and the ridicule continued. One gentleman was so overcome by what I had suggested that he began screaming his displeasure in my face before putting a gun barell in his mouth and taking his own life. The crowd had become a mob, and I was trapped in the middle; at the bottom of a relentless and determined stampede of humanity.

It is now, in the aftermath of my ordeal (an ordeal which may arise again at any time), that I make this apology to Mr. Fry's nose. I hadn't realized that my observation would be taken as malice. To my view, it was meerly a somewhat humorous reflection of my OWN flaws; a feeling of needing to correct that which is displaced or out of order. Considering the company I was in, I thought that it would be recognized and regarded as such. But I now realize that it doesn't matter the specific nature of the individuals within a group. When that group acts as a whole, in opposition to a common threat, they will abandon all sense of logic and of reason. They will become a single, bloodthirsty unit of non-objective, non-reasoning soldiers intent on destroying that which they do not percieve to be upright or just.

Stephen Fry's nose, I apologize for shitting on the delicate sensibilities of your fanboys and fangirls.

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
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07-10-2012, 03:14 PM
RE: Stephen Fry's Nose
You just made an entire thread about Stephen Fry's nose. You do realise that? I didn't even read it.

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07-10-2012, 03:39 PM
RE: Stephen Fry's Nose
(07-10-2012 03:14 PM)tazmin98 Wrote:  You just made an entire thread about Stephen Fry's nose. You do realise that? I didn't even read it.

I see what you did there Wink

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07-10-2012, 03:46 PM
RE: Stephen Fry's Nose
I can't help but see Edgar Allan Poe in your writing style, Misanthropik. Big Grin

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07-10-2012, 04:07 PM
RE: Stephen Fry's Nose
(07-10-2012 03:46 PM)cheapthrillseaker Wrote:  I can't help but see Edgar Allan Poe in your writing style, Misanthropik. Big Grin

I was wondering if someone would catch that reference. lol

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07-10-2012, 04:10 PM
RE: Stephen Fry's Nose
Love it!


I would have joined the mob mentality, I find 'odd' noses exceptionally beautiful and am drawn to them.
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07-10-2012, 05:10 PM
RE: Stephen Fry's Nose
Nice post! Thumbsup Great writing

I've always wondered the same thing ***looks around, waiting for the onslaught***

Apparently it was broken at a young age (not sure how).

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07-10-2012, 07:03 PM
RE: Stephen Fry's Nose
I must confess that I don't know if I could even recognize him if he just knocked on my front door, having had his nose straitened. I tend to just gaze at it when I seem him on TV. Same thing with ole' whats his face...Owen....Wilson? Blond curly hair, does comedies. Anyhow, Stephan Fry's is much more glorious.

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08-10-2012, 02:29 AM
RE: Stephen Fry's Nose
(07-10-2012 07:03 PM)Dark Light Wrote:  I must confess that I don't know if I could even recognize him if he just knocked on my front door, having had his nose straitened. I tend to just gaze at it when I seem him on TV. Same thing with ole' whats his face...Owen....Wilson? Blond curly hair, does comedies. Anyhow, Stephan Fry's is much more glorious.

lol, YES! My sister and I often speculate as to how Owen's nose turned out the way it did.

And don't even get me started on Adrian Brody...

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08-10-2012, 03:11 AM
RE: Stephen Fry's Nose
Great writing. Only one typo that I noticed.

See what I did there? It was a criticism of what you did, not what you are.

I recall a debate with Hitch and Fry where Hitch called out the catholic church saying something like: You are criticising my friend Stephen Fry not for what he does but for what he is.

Challenging the quality of his nose got the same anti-bigot reaction as would criticising his homosexuality.

In the depths of my mind's dusty filing cabinet I searched for skit (Fry and Laurie) where Fry was .... found it:





"Exactly! And so's my nose." Love that.

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