Still new to atheism and I'm already out the closet. Any advice?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
06-05-2013, 08:44 AM
Still new to atheism and I'm already out the closet. Any advice?
Well, unintentionally, I had to get out of the closet. My mother and father, both pastors, are outraged knowing that their daughter is now an atheist. They've got a lot of comments and arguments about it. I just shut my mouth because I don't wanna fight them. They're taking me out of my church ministry too which I like but they're gonna do the same to my boyfriend who is not an atheist but is now starting to doubt. He had doubts before but he really didn't bother. He's still a little in between. I'm sure I no longer believe in god, satan or the bible. Or any of that crap.

So with y parents gone mad about it and I'm still new to this atheism thing, got any advice guys? I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks! Smile
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-05-2013, 08:56 AM
RE: Still new to atheism and I'm already out the closet. Any advice?
Tread carefully. Emotions run deep in parents when they feel that their child is in some grave and mortal danger.

Try to tell them why you don't believe when they ask. Expect them to get emotional and use the bible as evidence in response. And perhaps the best thing you can do, is try to give them time. If they bring it up, there is not much you can do about it, but let them work through it themselves.

How old are you? I assume you are still a teenager, which makes it all the more difficult. As they are going to assume you are just being rebellious and that this is a phase you are going through. Which will make it more difficult to get your responses to stick.

Evolve
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes TheBeardedDude's post
06-05-2013, 09:27 AM
RE: Still new to atheism and I'm already out the closet. Any advice?
There's nothing new to atheism. You've been living your life just fine without believing in Ganesh, Thor, Zeus and all the traditions and beliefs that surround them. Just extend it to the Abrahamic God(s).

If you're being approached with anything religious, just smile, nod your head, and say "No thank you."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like PoolBoyG's post
06-05-2013, 01:42 PM
 
RE: Still new to atheism and I'm already out the closet. Any advice?
I suggest you embrace the New Age? Why stop with atheism? If you really want to rebell against your parents, become a Wiccan.
Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Egor's post
06-05-2013, 09:27 PM
RE: Still new to atheism and I'm already out the closet. Any advice?
I'm sort of lucky, I'm 68 no parentsSmile
BUT I do have a brother that was a metholated minister. (methodist)
It doesn't seem to worry him much, I have a feeling he has seen the light go out.
But of course he would never admit that. (chuckles)

Parents are naturally protective when it comes to their children, and it doesn't matter how old you are. Probably the best thing for you to do is arm yourself with the right information to plead your case.

O.M.D. ('cause the dog is real)
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes OhMyDoG's post
06-05-2013, 09:46 PM
RE: Still new to atheism and I'm already out the closet. Any advice?
(06-05-2013 09:27 PM)OhMyDoG Wrote:  Parents are naturally protective when it comes to their children, and it doesn't matter how old you are.

True that. The trouble is that more often than not, they're not protecting their children.... they're protecting their irrational beliefs and the perception their peers have of them as parents.

Because in the irrational world in which we live, what people think about you is far more important than your child's happiness in life.



OP: I can't offer any personal experience from religion because my mother is an atheist and my father is a deist... for the most part. That said, I have had some fundamental conflicts with my parents and I refused to alter my lifestyle or my positions. It led to a five year estrangement between my father and I but it also led to a much more healthy relationship once we reconciled.

I would advise that you stand your ground as politely as possible. If it leads to estrangement, it will either lead back to a stronger relationship or it will be the dissolution of a harmful relationship in your life. Either way, it's hard to face but that's only because it's an important decision.

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes bbeljefe's post
07-05-2013, 05:50 AM
RE: Still new to atheism and I'm already out the closet. Any advice?
Egor, why is Wiccan or Paganism rebelling? Because its not what you believe? I would figure converting to islam would be a worse offense for a christian family, but thats just me...

For the OP, just be polite and don't be defensive....they see defensiveness as weakness. Just be firm with them that this is your belief now and they have to respect it.

Shock And Awe Tactics-- The "application of massive or overwhelming force" to "disarm, incapacitate, or render the enemy impotent with as few casualties to ourselves and to noncombatants as possible"
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Likos02's post
09-05-2013, 02:24 PM (This post was last modified: 09-05-2013 02:27 PM by amyb.)
RE: Still new to atheism and I'm already out the closet. Any advice?
If you do discuss it, remain calm. Think things through so you are able to articulate why you think the way you do and can explain it. Even f someone else verbally attacks you, remain calm and do not attack them. This way you aren't making them think you're angry or amoral due to atheism. Be polite and do your research. Look online, read articles, decide what you agree with and disagree with and why. Read up on the logical fallacies so that people won't confuse and manipulate you with them. Look up some of the common arguments theists use. Ask that people respect your point of view, and respect theirs if they aren't being jerks.

Sometimes it is best to not bring up the subject unless you are prepared to debate about it. By "prepared," I mean that you've done some research and a lot of thinking about it and can explain yourself, but also emotionally. Sometimes, I am just not in the mood and avoid the topic, even though i like to debate people.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
09-05-2013, 06:32 PM (This post was last modified: 09-05-2013 06:37 PM by cbb2274.)
RE: Still new to atheism and I'm already out the closet. Any advice?
New atheists can be very bitter, especially when they come from a background like yours, (not that you sound bitter). It's perfectly understandable. You probably feel like you've been fed nonsense your whole life. Well, you have. They weren't lying to you though, not if they believed what they were telling you. They probably thought they were doing what they had to. Remember that - not only for their sake, but for your own. You want to emerge from this experience well-adjusted and ready to forgive. The best you can do is prove that you're a good person without God. Be patient.

Egor Wrote:I suggest you embrace the New Age? Why stop with atheism? If you really want to rebell against your parents, become a Wiccan.

What did you see in her post or her profile that made you think that she wants to rebel? Do you think she's being insincere about her atheism, that she's expressing this view thoughtlessly?

"That's not the proof I want."
"You'll have such proof as exists. You are the only one responsible for your own wants."
- Isaac Asimov, I, Robot
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
15-05-2013, 12:31 AM (This post was last modified: 15-05-2013 12:34 AM by Luminon.)
RE: Still new to atheism and I'm already out the closet. Any advice?
That's very surprising to see you out of closet. I got the impression you were a girl with mother pastor of a very intense and quirky faith and by now you'd be calling for help from parental abuse. I'm glad to see you're not locked up in a cellar yet.

However, you should talk. Very likely your mom has an opinion of atheists that has nothing to do with atheism. If atheists aren't going along with the big G, and god is the source of all morality, then atheists are immoral, sad, depraved, without conscience, that's logical. You need to make sure she doesn't think that, don't let that lie poison her mind for years and years.

Instead tell her that children don't understand religion, even if they go along with it. They accept everything that parents say, that's what children have to do. If parents teach children to believe, then their faith is just a weaker reflection of the parents' faith. It isn't real, it's a copy for which they have no reason other than everyone else believes it. And when they grow up, the faith doesn't hold very well. If she taught that slavery is good, (Bible does) then by now you would be against slavery too and that's a good thing! Such a fake faith shouldn't be enough for god, if he cares about truth at all. Your mom should be glad that you made room for a genuine faith in your heart, if God chooses to reveal himself to you. If he doesn't, well, she can't blame you.

Google up some great humanists and thinkers who were atheists. If she says without god you have no purpose in life, tell her that now you're free to seek a better purpose than being just another angel in heaven or a pile of ashes in hell.

[Image: Atheists.jpg]

If you claim there are nuances to principles, there are no nuances to getting arrested or shot for disobeying the power.
The Venus Project
FreeDomain Radio - The greatest philosophy show on the web!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: