Strangest Pub/Bar Experience
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28-05-2015, 08:06 PM
Tongue Strangest Pub/Bar Experience
I have a strange fondness of rundown backwater drinking establishments. You know, the types of places most people go out of their way to avoid.
But to me they are like white-trash nature documentaries Tongue

Needless to say I have a fair few tales of high jinks, buffoonery, random violence and downright weirdness.

So whats the strangest pub/bar experience you have had?

My cousin used to play darts for Merseyside County when we were about 18 (woo bigtime! Rolleyes ) So I used to tag along occasionally to the various dives around the north of England when he was playing. Where I'd promptly set about getting as legless as possible while he threw the old arrows about.

On one occasion, we ended up at some proper s**thole in Leeds, which was the ringer of the pub in 'Shameless' and may well have been called 'The Murderers Arms'

It was inhabited by your typical, half-toothless, BO smelling, rollie smoking, rugby top and prison tattoo wearing Yorkshire types who wouldn't have looked out of place working on one of those deathtrap travelling fairs.

The only pints on tap were flat, watered down Fosters or Strongbow. Served by one of those vodka weathered 45yo women who dresses like they're still 18. From what I could gather, she'd had kids to half of the clientele in there and given STI's to the other half.

There was a homeless guy asleep on a bench under the dart board who just swore incoherently at anyone who tried to move him and there were several feral children running laps around the tables. The toilets looked like a level out of one of the silent hill games and the pool table may well have been antique.

A couple of hours in and the locals started stabbing each other with broken bottles for no apparent reason, so we hastily retreated back to the b&b.

All in all it was a half decent boozer. 7/10 Tongue

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too"? - Douglas Adams Bechased
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28-05-2015, 08:15 PM
RE: Strangest Pub/Bar Experience
(28-05-2015 08:06 PM)LostLegend Wrote:  I have a strange fondness of rundown backwater drinking establishments. You know, the types of places most people go out of their way to avoid.
But to me they are like white-trash nature documentaries Tongue

Needless to say I have a fair few tales of high jinks, buffoonery, random violence and downright weirdness.

So whats the strangest boozer experience you have had?

My cousin used to play darts for Merseyside County when we were about 18 (woo bigtime! Rolleyes ) So I used to tag along occasionally to the various dives around the north of England when he was playing. Where I'd promptly set about getting as legless as possible while he threw the old arrows about.

On one occasion, we ended up at some proper s**thole in Leeds, which was the ringer of the pub in 'Shameless' and may well have been called 'The Murderers Arms'

It was inhabited by your typical, half-toothless, BO smelling, rollie smoking, rugby top and prison tattoo wearing Yorkshire types who wouldn't have looked out of place working on one of those deathtrap travelling fairs.

The only pints on tap were flat, watered down Fosters or Strongbow. Served by one of those vodka weathered 45yo women who dresses like they're still 18. From what I could gather, she'd had kids to half of the clientele in there and given STI's to the other half.

There was a homeless guy asleep on a bench under the dart board who just swore incoherently at anyone who tried to move him and there were several feral children running laps around the tables. The toilets looked like a level out of one of the silent hill games and the pool table may well have been antique.

A couple of hours in and the locals started stabbing each other with broken bottles for no apparent reason, so we hastily retreated back to the b&b.

All in all it was a half decent boozer. 7/10 Tongue

I have a thing for dive bars. My friends and I love to go to them because there are a whole host of characters there. This one dive bar we went to has one of those claw machines (the ones traditionally used for stuffed animals) that was stuffed with Asian porn. The bathrooms were disgusting and there was one drunk lady in there who kept telling me how she was cheating on her husband with some skeevy guy at the bar. I also got hit on by some dude who looked like a cracked-out version of Jimmy Buffett. All and all--good times Thumbsup
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28-05-2015, 08:36 PM (This post was last modified: 28-05-2015 08:42 PM by Clockwork.)
Strangest Pub/Bar Experience
Years ago but good times. Knew a woman (she, her boyfriend, a girl I'd dated, and I hung out a lot) to whom I said I wanted somewhere new to hang out. She told me about a local dive because she'd been friends with the owner. (Apparently he'd slept with half of the female regulars.)

She told me one important thing: First thing, tell him she sent me. Seems it takes him along time to warm up to people so if someone he likes sends you, you're golden. So my brother and I walk in and see this huge fucker behind the bar. Not fat. Like bigger than Vin Diesel. (Later learned his dad was a lifetime Marine, so this guy was raised in the corps.)

We walk up, order drinks, he seems... Not hateful. I sit there for a while. He's distant. Then I bite the bullet, hope this isn't a trick, and say she sent me. Boom, instant change.

Later, another friend walks in. He invites me to his table and says sit here for a while. He likes me, so if he knows we're good, you're in. Fuck, they were right.

Within two visits, owner knows my drink (and backup drink), knows my name, laughs with me and the boys, lets me & his favorites stay well past the legally allowed time, and talks to me around town (still does). When a guy tried to start a fight with me, owner yells at him to get the fuck outside and calm down or else.

Then learn that we save the "tell him I sent you" for special friends. I do just that.

I honestly miss that place. Almost got a tear reminiscing.
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28-05-2015, 08:39 PM
RE: Strangest Pub/Bar Experience
10 years in a metal band playing mostly sketchy bars that "normal" people won't dare step inside. I should have enough stories to fill the thread, but I'll be damned if I don't remember any details of any of those nights... Consider

Smokin

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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28-05-2015, 10:35 PM
RE: Strangest Pub/Bar Experience
I was in a some bar in San Diego a few months back. Almost got in a fight because I was taking pictures of some chicks who had decided to make the karaoke stage a platform for their personal grind-fest. Turns out the guy next to me was a boyfriend to one of them. Anyways, I apologized, bought the guy and the two girls a round of drinks. Then bought some other people drinks. Spent most of the night answering questions about what people in Alabama do. I guess my Southern accent attracted a bit of attention. The last thing I remember was handing the nice lady at the bar a couple of hundred dollar bills. I have no idea how much I owed her, but she said that would do.

I have no idea how I got back to my hotel room which was several blocks away. I just woke up in the morning across my bed in my clothes from the night before. I also had some weird dark, muffled videos and an unexplainable text conversation on my phone with someone named "Devin" who insisted I was her new BFF in spite of what appeared to be sincere attempts to tell her I didn't need a new BFF.

I vaguely remember having some people in my hotel room and chasing someone down the street. But, those could have been dreams.

Good times, bad times... I guess I'll never know. It's been years since I've been that dumb. Hopefully, that is the last time.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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28-05-2015, 10:50 PM
RE: Strangest Pub/Bar Experience
I don't drink, so I don't exactly seek out strange bar scenarios. Nonetheless, I did spend some time in the Navy before I went Army green, and I did end up going through Thailand a couple times. Logically, it follows that I got in some scraps defending dumbass shipmates (because that's what we do, even if we don't like them) who ran their mouths to the wrong people. I think the strangest incident was when a buddy of mine got in a fight with a deceptively formidable cross dresser. Even though I knew it wasn't really a girl I felt bad hitting her, but she was fixing to tear my friend a new asshole and I had no interest in explaining how he got hurt to the captain and possibly getting shore leave called off as a result. So... we laid into her, got him the hell out of there, and made a hasty retreat before the cops could show up looking for bribes.

'Murican Canadian
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28-05-2015, 11:04 PM
RE: Strangest Pub/Bar Experience
(28-05-2015 10:50 PM)yakherder Wrote:  deceptively formidable cross dresser

I might make that my new tagline ... Kiss

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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29-05-2015, 02:40 AM
RE: Strangest Pub/Bar Experience
Ah, yes, Leeds. The OP sums it up well.

Reminds me of a nightclub (in a very loose sense) in Ilkley (also Yorkshire)... When we walked in they asked for £1. Coming from the more salubrious South, I thought that must be the cloakroom fee. Nope. That was the cost of entry.

Which probably tells you all you need to know.

I made the mistake of showing my fancy footwork on the floor. Apparently, real men, I was informed, stand at the bar nursing their pint until just before closing time. Then they grap a random girl (in an even looser sense) for a slow dance and a grope.

This is what passes as a mating ritual in Yorkshire.

Meanwhile... Manila, Philippines, Tickles in Makati.
I was stripped naked within 5 mins of walking in.
10 girls and 3 hours later... Censored Censored Censored

Blush

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29-05-2015, 05:21 AM
RE: Strangest Pub/Bar Experience
St. Paul Island Alaska, 1979.....

The only bar on the island was a converted house trailer - gutted out - with the entrance on one end - and the "bar" at the far end -- with tables lining both sides.

They only served canned beer - two brands.

Sitting in the tables, were drunken natives - who for the most part were drank into a stupor...

I went in with one of the guys from Navy EOD - (they were assisting us on an oil spill) - this squid was HUGE. Two meters high and 120 kilo at least. We were standing at the "bar" when a little native guy started kicking the Navy guy in the back of the leg. The big machinist mate turned around, pushed the native back and admonished "Knock that off you moron", then went back to his beer. The native (probably trying to prove he was a tough guy) goes back to kicking the squid in the back of the leg. Navy got fed up, and grabbed the little guy by the front of his shirt and picked him up. About that time one of the native's buddies decides to join in. Navy whacked one native with the other. Then drags them both to the door and tosses them outside.

I never saw anything like it before or since.

The bar, at the time, had no name. I christened it "The Star Wars Bar" --- after the scene in the first movie -- where Luke walks in, and sees all the aliens........

The natives - hadn't seen the movie --- but thought the name was cool....

They actually put up a sign, proclaiming it "The Star Wars Bar".

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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29-05-2015, 06:35 AM
RE: Strangest Pub/Bar Experience
I've spent all the years of being legal drinking age in small town Oklahoma, have a penchant for getting hammered, and go out at least twice a week. The white trash levels around here are astronomical and fueled by one of the country's worse methamphetamine infestations.

Weird, abnormal and crazy are just another night at damn near any bar I could frequent.
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