Struggling with theists.
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03-05-2015, 05:34 PM
Struggling with theists.
I come from a family who from the time they were born were disposed into Baptist Christians. I myself was brought up this way, rejected it, came back to it an now reject it again. My wife just got saved in the time period which I was coming back into Christianity. I tried my hardest to try but I could never escape the rationality and million mile per hour devourer that is my brain. I have always known somewhere deep within that God isn't real and that the world has another explanation for its creation. The problem with me is that I feel targeted and as if I am an outcast. My entire life I have been subject to tortuous brainwashing and demeaning based on my religious standing and it has taken a toll on my outlook on life, as I have developed a strong distaste for religion over the years and have now, a tendency to turn a peaceful discussion into a cataclysmic controversy and stand baring arms at all times to support my views. My marriage has suffered as well as just recently, I declined to come with my wife to her baptism as I have a lot of hate for Christianity buried with in. I feel alone and cannot find a means of developing a calming outlook on how to live versus Christianity as well as be a husband and a father. We even get in disputes about how to parent because of our outlook on the future concerning our son and his religious beliefs. I feel that he should not be forced to do anything he finds repulsive and they are intent, meaning my family, on berating him with religious fallacies when he comes of age to understand the world. My father committed suicide four years ago, and he was saved, and my family constantly throws my beloved father into almost every discussion because they know that I'd one of my very few uncovered vulnerable spots. I am just torn on how to act and manage the relationships in my life because of this issue. I have explanations to prove them wrong, but they are so blinded by their idolized God that they do not take the time to listen or just give me my space and peace concerning these issues.
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03-05-2015, 06:06 PM
RE: Struggling with theists.
(03-05-2015 05:34 PM)Anichols0063 Wrote:  I come from a family who from the time they were born were disposed into Baptist Christians. I myself was brought up this way, rejected it, came back to it an now reject it again. My wife just got saved in the time period which I was coming back into Christianity. I tried my hardest to try but I could never escape the rationality and million mile per hour devourer that is my brain. I have always known somewhere deep within that God isn't real and that the world has another explanation for its creation. The problem with me is that I feel targeted and as if I am an outcast. My entire life I have been subject to tortuous brainwashing and demeaning based on my religious standing and it has taken a toll on my outlook on life, as I have developed a strong distaste for religion over the years and have now, a tendency to turn a peaceful discussion into a cataclysmic controversy and stand baring arms at all times to support my views. My marriage has suffered as well as just recently, I declined to come with my wife to her baptism as I have a lot of hate for Christianity buried with in. I feel alone and cannot find a means of developing a calming outlook on how to live versus Christianity as well as be a husband and a father. We even get in disputes about how to parent because of our outlook on the future concerning our son and his religious beliefs. I feel that he should not be forced to do anything he finds repulsive and they are intent, meaning my family, on berating him with religious fallacies when he comes of age to understand the world. My father committed suicide four years ago, and he was saved, and my family constantly throws my beloved father into almost every discussion because they know that I'd one of my very few uncovered vulnerable spots. I am just torn on how to act and manage the relationships in my life because of this issue. I have explanations to prove them wrong, but they are so blinded by their idolized God that they do not take the time to listen or just give me my space and peace concerning these issues.

I am also an ex-christian and it can be extremely painful and difficult when dealing with believers who think you are making a big mistake by not believing in god. And as you have experienced, they are not always very kind about it either. I am so sorry you are going through all of that.
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03-05-2015, 06:11 PM
RE: Struggling with theists.
I know it's hard to cut family from your life but...I have done it. Not for religious reasons but for self-preservation

Now I look at it this way, would I let a friend or acquaintance treat me 'that way - fill in the way'. If not, I don't need them in my life.

btw - I am terribly sorry for the loss of your father.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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04-05-2015, 05:50 AM
RE: Struggling with theists.
Life can be tough. That's why the delusion of religion is so appealing - it relieves the believer from the responsibility of finding their own way through life.

I applaud your courage - and hope you find solace in the fact that you're a self realized moral person - and not a drone of dogma.

The loneliness? That's what friends are for.

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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04-05-2015, 07:38 AM
RE: Struggling with theists.
I thank you all for your support. I have yet to find a friend that understands the opposition I am up against. Thank you guys for being so supportive and understanding.
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06-05-2015, 02:02 PM
RE: Struggling with theists.
Sorry to hear your situation. I just watched my wife's baptism this past Sunday and it took a lot to not sprint out of the church. Not that I have a lot of experience but I am doing my best to try and quiet those negative voices in the back of my head, as I'm sure you've got as well, and compartmentalize this religious stuff and view as self help material for those that need it. Good luck in your journey.
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07-05-2015, 10:45 AM
RE: Struggling with theists.
(06-05-2015 02:02 PM)Rkane819 Wrote:  Sorry to hear your situation. I just watched my wife's baptism this past Sunday and it took a lot to not sprint out of the church. Not that I have a lot of experience but I am doing my best to try and quiet those negative voices in the back of my head, as I'm sure you've got as well, and compartmentalize this religious stuff and view as self help material for those that need it. Good luck in your journey.


Sprint out of the church? Ferreal?

I'm just damned disappointed you didn't burst into flames.
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14-05-2015, 07:42 PM
RE: Struggling with theists.
(07-05-2015 10:45 AM)Hypatia Wrote:  
(06-05-2015 02:02 PM)Rkane819 Wrote:  Sorry to hear your situation. I just watched my wife's baptism this past Sunday and it took a lot to not sprint out of the church. Not that I have a lot of experience but I am doing my best to try and quiet those negative voices in the back of my head, as I'm sure you've got as well, and compartmentalize this religious stuff and view as self help material for those that need it. Good luck in your journey.


Sprint out of the church? Ferreal?

I'm just damned disappointed you didn't burst into flames.

I probably will burst into flames. Lol, I decided on behalf of my wife and our marriage, that I will attend her baptism to support her. I hate to be a cloud to ruin her parade, but I am not there for encouragement and to seek out "God." I am there to fulfill my duties as a husband and support her, nothing more. I just know that I will be approached by a member of their church and be asked why I haven't came in so long. I will try to hold back the barrage of humanist atheism that will surely flow out of me if I do not put a lid on it.
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