Stupid or insensitive things Christians say
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13-07-2014, 01:36 PM
RE: Stupid or insensitive things Christians say
We just recently sold our house for a loss after sustaining a net decrease of income every year since 2009. My parents have 2 homes, and we just moved into one of them. My new job (better paying, better environment, better resume for grad school) is in amother state so I am only home for half the week. My husband is on call every other week for a full week and we have always needed family to help us whenever I am working. My grandparents are usually the ones to help. Because of the stress of neither of us having family friendly occupations, my husband is quitting his job in law enforcement and going back to school next month for elementary education. He will graduate in 2 years. College tuition is a lot more expensive near my new job, and so is rent - for a good public school district, apartments start at $1400/MO which we cannot afford on my income.

Basically, we are living in here to clean up our financial mess and to improve our future career options. My parents ALWAYS have strings attached. The fact that my son is caught in the middle for the next 2 years gives me great distress and I am constantly reevaluating and trying to find new options. Atheism is equated to evil in my family, we would likely be kicked out and disowned.

As my closeted atheist brother who also lives with us puts it, don't poke the bear when you live in its cave.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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13-07-2014, 02:59 PM
RE: Stupid or insensitive things Christians say
(13-07-2014 01:36 PM)Nurse Wrote:  We just recently sold our house for a loss after sustaining a net decrease of income every year since 2009. My parents have 2 homes, and we just moved into one of them. My new job (better paying, better environment, better resume for grad school) is in amother state so I am only home for half the week. My husband is on call every other week for a full week and we have always needed family to help us whenever I am working. My grandparents are usually the ones to help. Because of the stress of neither of us having family friendly occupations, my husband is quitting his job in law enforcement and going back to school next month for elementary education. He will graduate in 2 years. College tuition is a lot more expensive near my new job, and so is rent - for a good public school district, apartments start at $1400/MO which we cannot afford on my income.

Basically, we are living in here to clean up our financial mess and to improve our future career options. My parents ALWAYS have strings attached. The fact that my son is caught in the middle for the next 2 years gives me great distress and I am constantly reevaluating and trying to find new options. Atheism is equated to evil in my family, we would likely be kicked out and disowned.

As my closeted atheist brother who also lives with us puts it, don't poke the bear when you live in its cave.
Oh, wow. You guys have a lot going on. I'm sorry you can't be yourself around your family. They would really react that strongly? Are you nervous at all to tell them?
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13-07-2014, 03:30 PM
RE: Stupid or insensitive things Christians say
(13-07-2014 02:59 PM)Bailey Wrote:  
(13-07-2014 01:36 PM)Nurse Wrote:  We just recently sold our house for a loss after sustaining a net decrease of income every year since 2009. My parents have 2 homes, and we just moved into one of them. My new job (better paying, better environment, better resume for grad school) is in amother state so I am only home for half the week. My husband is on call every other week for a full week and we have always needed family to help us whenever I am working. My grandparents are usually the ones to help. Because of the stress of neither of us having family friendly occupations, my husband is quitting his job in law enforcement and going back to school next month for elementary education. He will graduate in 2 years. College tuition is a lot more expensive near my new job, and so is rent - for a good public school district, apartments start at $1400/MO which we cannot afford on my income.

Basically, we are living in here to clean up our financial mess and to improve our future career options. My parents ALWAYS have strings attached. The fact that my son is caught in the middle for the next 2 years gives me great distress and I am constantly reevaluating and trying to find new options. Atheism is equated to evil in my family, we would likely be kicked out and disowned.

As my closeted atheist brother who also lives with us puts it, don't poke the bear when you live in its cave.
Oh, wow. You guys have a lot going on. I'm sorry you can't be yourself around your family. They would really react that strongly? Are you nervous at all to tell them?

My brother got kicked out of the house when he was 18, just for not getting up and going to church despite working late delivering pizzas the night before. My parents still made me attend church that morning after watching all of his clothes be thrown out on the front lawn. They won't know about my deconversion until we move out and maybe not until my grandparents die - I really don't want to cause them distress in their final years of life over thinking I'm going to burn in hell, they are the closest thing I have to unconditional love and I wouldn't hurt them for the world. My parents, ehh, they caused me enough trauma and have respected me so little that I don't give a damn what they think when I do come out. I imagine I'll feel quite a bit of relief, not to mention I won't have to suffer the embarrassment of bowing my head in restaurants to prove my holier than thou status in public.

Which is another stupid thing christians do - holier than thou prayers in restaurants. This is my (step) dad's public meal prayer - heavenly father, please bless this food and make it nourishment to our bodies...blah blah blah bit of gossip or uncomfortable sharing...in jesus christ's name we pray, amen.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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13-07-2014, 06:34 PM
RE: Stupid or insensitive things Christians say
(13-07-2014 03:30 PM)Nurse Wrote:  
(13-07-2014 02:59 PM)Bailey Wrote:  Oh, wow. You guys have a lot going on. I'm sorry you can't be yourself around your family. They would really react that strongly? Are you nervous at all to tell them?

My brother got kicked out of the house when he was 18, just for not getting up and going to church despite working late delivering pizzas the night before. My parents still made me attend church that morning after watching all of his clothes be thrown out on the front lawn. They won't know about my deconversion until we move out and maybe not until my grandparents die - I really don't want to cause them distress in their final years of life over thinking I'm going to burn in hell, they are the closest thing I have to unconditional love and I wouldn't hurt them for the world. My parents, ehh, they caused me enough trauma and have respected me so little that I don't give a damn what they think when I do come out. I imagine I'll feel quite a bit of relief, not to mention I won't have to suffer the embarrassment of bowing my head in restaurants to prove my holier than thou status in public.

Which is another stupid thing christians do - holier than thou prayers in restaurants. This is my (step) dad's public meal prayer - heavenly father, please bless this food and make it nourishment to our bodies...blah blah blah bit of gossip or uncomfortable sharing...in jesus christ's name we pray, amen.
Woah. That's insane. I'm really sorry it has to be like that. You must be a strong person to be able to hold your tongue the way you do, I'm not sure if I could. I definitely understand about you not wanting to tell your grandparents though.
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14-07-2014, 08:12 AM
RE: Stupid or insensitive things Christians say
Saw this on my Facebook news feed.

"When God pushes you to the edge, trust him fully, because only two things can happen. He will either catch you, or he will teach you to fly."

Or you'll fall to your death... seems more likely

I feel like theists spend so much time praying for a better life after death, they don't fully appreciate or enjoy the one they have now.
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