Successful Even Though Parents are Screwed Up? How?
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23-12-2013, 09:18 PM
RE: Succesul Even Though Parents are Screwed Up? How?
(23-12-2013 09:01 PM)anonymous66 Wrote:  Thanks for sharing all. It's helpful to know I'm not alone.
I've tried counseling several times over the years, but I don't find it helpful. It makes me feel worse.
The only thing that helps me is to actually spend time doing the things that make me happy.
Bingo, its not so much denial but rather "I have better shit to think about":
Plus as bad as anyone's child hood was, beaten , molested by uncle, bullied. You are here now, able to free speak your own mind, happy is a reachable goal.

Think of other people around the world, slavery, genocide, short life's of debilating poverty. As bad as you think you had it or have it. Tell yourself to Get the fuk over it. (I would make the shittiest counselor)

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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23-12-2013, 09:24 PM
RE: Succesul Even Though Parents are Screwed Up? How?
So much for the support section.

Were it not for the rules on deletion, I would clean out everything I ever trusted people here with.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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23-12-2013, 09:36 PM
RE: Succesul Even Though Parents are Screwed Up? How?
This is a warning to those who chose to be un-supportive within this thread.
If you continue to do so, you will banned from this section

Humankind Dodgy (a total misnomer)
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23-12-2013, 09:38 PM (This post was last modified: 23-12-2013 09:43 PM by anonymous66.)
RE: Succesul Even Though Parents are Screwed Up? How?
If it were up to me, I'd be a total loner. Spending time with only the few people I really want to spend time with.
I did recently quit our local Rotary. I just got sick of the crap.
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23-12-2013, 09:40 PM
RE: Succesul Even Though Parents are Screwed Up? How?
Oh yeah, I meant to add this:

What I've learned from having a less than great upbringing is a great set of examples of what I DON'T want to be.

I know the type of family I don't want to have, the type of parent I don't want to be, several mistakes I don't want to make. So many of my life goals have to do with building the family that I wish I could have had growing up. I've felt I've lived most of my life without a real family. I've never heard my parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles/siblings say that they loved me. And now, honestly I hope I never do hear those words, because I don't know if I can say them back.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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23-12-2013, 09:47 PM
RE: Succesul Even Though Parents are Screwed Up? How?
Oops sorry if my post was taken as unsupportive I meant it in the opposite way.
As in don't let the past ruin your present

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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23-12-2013, 09:53 PM
RE: Succesul Even Though Parents are Screwed Up? How?
(23-12-2013 09:01 PM)anonymous66 Wrote:  Thanks for sharing all. It's helpful to know I'm not alone.
I've tried counseling several times over the years, but I don't find it helpful. It makes me feel worse.
The only thing that helps me is to actually spend time doing the things that make me happy.

As long as there are things that make you happy. Knowing what you came from, and not wanting that for your life is a huge step in itself. Hug
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23-12-2013, 11:46 PM
RE: Successful Even Though Parents are Screwed Up? How?
I wish I could say something worthwhile here, but I know that's not possible. Even sympathy from others doesn't remove what happened. I am convinced God created us to suffer.

Maybe a life without suffering is not a life worth living. What good have we ever achieved that we didn't have to suffer to obtain?

I wonder something: If we had our own universe, if we had unlimited powers of creation, in order to make that place good rather than bad, wouldn't we have to have an awful lot of wisdom?

When did one ever get wisdom without suffering?

Maybe when we die it's like a lucid dream, maybe that's what our consciousness produces when there's no longer a body feeding it with input. Because I'm stupid, I've done some pretty awful things in the lucid dreams I have had. What if when I die, I end up in a lucid dream that has no end?

When I contemplate that possibility, sometimes I think I need to suffer a great deal more, and I actually find myself worried that I don't have enough time left to get all the suffering in that I need to experience. Because you can gain knowledge without suffering, but you can't gain wisdom without suffering.

Even worse: In a lucid dream, if I want to create people, and if I want them to be happy and experience pleasure, I'm going to have to create suffering for them so they can feel the difference. It baffles me. I mean, how am I supposed to learn to be not only compassionate, but also how to produce suffering in just the right amounts to really grow happiness? It's like how much cow shit is required to get the best out of your garden? How do you keep from overdoing it?

Wisdom born of pain.

I'm not sure we need less; we might just need more.
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24-12-2013, 12:05 AM (This post was last modified: 24-12-2013 12:53 AM by Momsurroundedbyboys.)
RE: Successful Even Though Parents are Screwed Up? How?
(23-12-2013 11:46 PM)Gordon Wrote:  I wish I could say something worthwhile here, but I know that's not possible. Even sympathy from others doesn't remove what happened. I am convinced God created us to suffer.

Maybe a life without suffering is not a life worth living. What good have we ever achieved that we didn't have to suffer to obtain?

I wonder something: If we had our own universe, if we had unlimited powers of creation, in order to make that place good rather than bad, wouldn't we have to have an awful lot of wisdom?

When did one ever get wisdom without suffering?

Maybe when we die it's like a lucid dream, maybe that's what our consciousness produces when there's no longer a body feeding it with input. Because I'm stupid, I've done some pretty awful things in the lucid dreams I have had. What if when I die, I end up in a lucid dream that has no end?

When I contemplate that possibility, sometimes I think I need to suffer a great deal more, and I actually find myself worried that I don't have enough time left to get all the suffering in that I need to experience. Because you can gain knowledge without suffering, but you can't gain wisdom without suffering.

Even worse: In a lucid dream, if I want to create people, and if I want them to be happy and experience pleasure, I'm going to have to create suffering for them so they can feel the difference. It baffles me. I mean, how am I supposed to learn to be not only compassionate, but also how to produce suffering in just the right amounts to really grow happiness? It's like how much cow shit is required to get the best out of your garden? How do you keep from overdoing it?

Wisdom born of pain.

I'm not sure we need less; we might just need more.

Edit: Content Removed. This is the Support Section and is much more moderated than the rest of the forum. User was warned to keep all comments and posts positive.
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24-12-2013, 12:14 AM (This post was last modified: 24-12-2013 12:54 AM by Momsurroundedbyboys.)
RE: Successful Even Though Parents are Screwed Up? How?
(24-12-2013 12:05 AM)The Misanthrope Wrote:  
(23-12-2013 11:46 PM)Gordon Wrote:  I wish I could say something worthwhile here, but I know that's not possible. Even sympathy from others doesn't remove what happened. I am convinced God created us to suffer.

Maybe a life without suffering is not a life worth living. What good have we ever achieved that we didn't have to suffer to obtain?

I wonder something: If we had our own universe, if we had unlimited powers of creation, in order to make that place good rather than bad, wouldn't we have to have an awful lot of wisdom?

When did one ever get wisdom without suffering?

Maybe when we die it's like a lucid dream, maybe that's what our consciousness produces when there's no longer a body feeding it with input. Because I'm stupid, I've done some pretty awful things in the lucid dreams I have had. What if when I die, I end up in a lucid dream that has no end?

When I contemplate that possibility, sometimes I think I need to suffer a great deal more, and I actually find myself worried that I don't have enough time left to get all the suffering in that I need to experience. Because you can gain knowledge without suffering, but you can't gain wisdom without suffering.

Even worse: In a lucid dream, if I want to create people, and if I want them to be happy and experience pleasure, I'm going to have to create suffering for them so they can feel the difference. It baffles me. I mean, how am I supposed to learn to be not only compassionate, but also how to produce suffering in just the right amounts to really grow happiness? It's like how much cow shit is required to get the best out of your garden? How do you keep from overdoing it?

Wisdom born of pain.

I'm not sure we need less; we might just need more.

Edit: Content Removed. This is the Support Section and is much more moderated than the rest of the forum. User was already reminded to keep all comments and posts positive.



That you have had 'worse life' is not the point! This is a 'support' section. If you haven't got a supportive post, don't post here.
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