Suicide
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09-08-2014, 07:09 AM
RE: Suicide
Im going to say something Dustin. I am going to say it even though I know that right now you simply wont believe it. That you have learnt many justifications to why you, your life and your situation is shit and that it shapes your beliefs... and again I stress that these are learned, They are not right and they are not wrong.

You were not born this way. I am sure there may have been times in your life when you felt joy, happiness, contentment and all those other words we associate with feeling good and those may seem soooo far away right now... but there not. You can recall those good memories anytime you wish and whilst they may not seem practical in sorting your situation out right now, they are a beautiful reminder of how everything good is not lost... it is temporarily forgotten about in that moment.

Everything that has happened to you, all the circumstances that are making you feel this way, they are not your fault Dustin. Your simply struggling to see things clear and are reacting to life, however in writing this thread you are consciously making that choice to not want this anymore, to change.

Change is not impossible, but you need to want to change and it is that feeling that you need to latch onto.

Hurting yourself is illogical, you know it is yet you get some payoff from it. A feeling of control, a break, whatever. You don't have to cut yourself, that power of choice is still yours and forever will be.

Break your problems down into a list and if you feel comfortable enough then maybe you can tell the forum some of them as there are any good people here who will do nothing but give you sound advice and encouragement.

Be completely honest with your therapist.

Do this instead of cutting.

I feel so much, and yet I feel nothing.
I am a rock, I am the sky, the birds and the trees and everything beyond.
I am the wind, in the fields in which I roar. I am the water, in which I drown.
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09-08-2014, 12:03 PM
RE: Suicide
(09-08-2014 03:29 AM)Mathilda Wrote:  
(08-08-2014 11:33 PM)Dustinstig Wrote:  I'm freaking out. I'm full of new cuts and I want to cut more. I've already done my wrist and chest I might move on to thighs soon. I'm so lost right know I can't control myself

Instead of cutting you could flagellate yourself. That shouldn't leave any scars. There are other S&M toys that you can use instead such as a violet wand. Using these toys could well cause you less distress because they give you more control and you don't have to worry about permanently damaging yourself.

While I can see this as a good idea, is he old enough to buy something like a violet wand? I don't know why but I thought he said he was 17.

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09-08-2014, 12:28 PM
RE: Suicide
(09-08-2014 12:03 PM)Miss Suzanne Wrote:  
(09-08-2014 03:29 AM)Mathilda Wrote:  Instead of cutting you could flagellate yourself. That shouldn't leave any scars. There are other S&M toys that you can use instead such as a violet wand. Using these toys could well cause you less distress because they give you more control and you don't have to worry about permanently damaging yourself.

While I can see this as a good idea, is he old enough to buy something like a violet wand? I don't know why but I thought he said he was 17.

I am 17, and I'm s&m isn't that dominatrix stuff?
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09-08-2014, 01:04 PM
RE: Suicide
(09-08-2014 12:28 PM)Dustinstig Wrote:  
(09-08-2014 12:03 PM)Miss Suzanne Wrote:  While I can see this as a good idea, is he old enough to buy something like a violet wand? I don't know why but I thought he said he was 17.

I am 17, and I'm s&m isn't that dominatrix stuff?

Yes, and they have special toys, and some will feel like you are cutting but you are not actually cutting or inflicting harm...

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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09-08-2014, 01:12 PM
RE: Suicide
OK here's an experiment to try. Next time you are desperate to cut yourself, get some privacy, a couple of wooden spoons from the kitchen, put on an album that you really enjoy and start beaten the skin of your inner thigh in time to it using the wooden spoons.

It may sound strange but I've used this technique to get people to subspace countless times using spoons on their bottom in time to music. I always use their arse but that would be difficult for you. The flesh around the inner thigh is pretty similar. I pride myself in being able to get willing participants to subspace without hurting them.

Don't hit hard enough to bruise yourself, just start gently so the skin reddens. Always keep to the red area. As you get used to it you can start to build the intensity a little. Just beat along to the music.

After you've spent half an hour doing this, see if you still want to cut yourself or whether the desire for it has subsided. If it doesn't help at all then no harm done, it was worth a try. If you no longer have an urge to cut yourself then you have saved yourself some scars and distress.
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09-08-2014, 04:44 PM
RE: Suicide
Ugh. At a party and I don't know anybody here, my stress and anxiety is through the roof
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09-08-2014, 04:57 PM
RE: Suicide
Breath in, breath out. You got this! Try something as simple as a hello. Don't put pressure on yourself or focus on the number of people there. Public places or places with lots of people can be hard. Sometimes though, you can find cool people in parties or in public even if they aren't people that wind up staying in your life longer than the conversation. Never quite know until you try! If you want to try, you don't have to. Either way, take a deep breath and relax.

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09-08-2014, 05:03 PM
RE: Suicide
(09-08-2014 04:57 PM)Miss Suzanne Wrote:  Breath in, breath out. You got this! Try something as simple as a hello. Don't put pressure on yourself or focus on the number of people there. Public places or places with lots of people can be hard. Sometimes though, you can find cool people in parties or in public even if they aren't people that wind up staying in your life longer than the conversation. Never quite know until you try! If you want to try, you don't have to. Either way, take a deep breath and relax.

I'm sitting here all fat and ugly with my scars
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09-08-2014, 06:28 PM
RE: Suicide
(07-08-2014 11:07 AM)Dustinstig Wrote:  Umm this is not good. I'm super stressed out and my heart hurts from the stress. I don't know what to do I have nobody to be with. Should I self harm or just end it?

Nah! I've been there many times. You will hurt a lot of people if you take your life. I notice the rough times teach me lessons and I've become more compassionate and stronger as a result of suffering.

A lot of people throughout History have felt like you do and a lot of people in the world today are going through this darkness and agony that you suffer with.

Maybe this pain you are going through will help you to be more equipped to help others going through the same thing. That has been my experience. Hang in there! Thumbsup
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09-08-2014, 09:21 PM
RE: Suicide
(09-08-2014 05:03 PM)Dustinstig Wrote:  
(09-08-2014 04:57 PM)Miss Suzanne Wrote:  Breath in, breath out. You got this! Try something as simple as a hello. Don't put pressure on yourself or focus on the number of people there. Public places or places with lots of people can be hard. Sometimes though, you can find cool people in parties or in public even if they aren't people that wind up staying in your life longer than the conversation. Never quite know until you try! If you want to try, you don't have to. Either way, take a deep breath and relax.

I'm sitting here all fat and ugly with my scars

I know it might be hard but try to think about yourself in a positive light. Easier said than done, yes, but it is helpful. Don't focus on whatever you believe your negatives are and think of positive things about yourself.

With that being said, breath in, breath out. Keep yourself relaxed. It's very good that you took the action of going to the party though you have anxiety.If you don't like being alone, introduce yourself to someone or just simply comment about something within earshot of someone nearby. Being the person that always wound up alone at the lunch table, I know that it isn't very often that people approach you even if they are social. It's often you have to ask to be there have to say something. Don't be afraid to keep taking action even if it's small things.

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