Suicide (or rather, helping a friend)
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16-11-2014, 04:35 AM
RE: Suicide (or rather, helping a friend)
It is good of you to help, but don't make it your responsibility because it's not.

It's her parent's responsibility. You are not superman.

You did well, you talked to her, you made sure her parents knew. You helped her find time to think it through.

Just make sure you don't feel responsible for the eventual outcome. You can't know what is going on in her head. Even if you did, you couldn't control it.

Also, make sure she doesn't become dependent on you. You are neither her parent nor her husband. You won't be able to continue to provide total emotional support. She is vulnerable now, she may form a strong attachment/dependency. Be there, but make sure her parents play the bigger role.

I'm proud of the way you are handling this. I am just worried about it eating you up... Heart

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16-11-2014, 10:35 AM
RE: Suicide (or rather, helping a friend)
(16-11-2014 04:35 AM)Dom Wrote:  It is good of you to help, but don't make it your responsibility because it's not.

It's her parent's responsibility. You are not superman.

You did well, you talked to her, you made sure her parents knew. You helped her find time to think it through.

Just make sure you don't feel responsible for the eventual outcome. You can't know what is going on in her head. Even if you did, you couldn't control it.

Also, make sure she doesn't become dependent on you. You are neither her parent nor her husband. You won't be able to continue to provide total emotional support. She is vulnerable now, she may form a strong attachment/dependency. Be there, but make sure her parents play the bigger role.

I'm proud of the way you are handling this. I am just worried about it eating you up... Heart

It is what it is. I can't control her actions. I've given her more than enough resources to get help. I've made sure her parents are notified. I've talked to her. I've done so much.

I really don't want her to become attached to me. Not that she isn't a nice girl, but she is quite.... Unattractive on an emotional level. I have no real wish to spend my life taking care of other people, which is why I refuse to let her take up any more of my life as it is.

I've done what I can.... But it may not be enough.

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16-11-2014, 01:48 PM
RE: Suicide (or rather, helping a friend)
(16-11-2014 10:35 AM)Atothetheist Wrote:  I've done what I can.... But it may not be enough.

It is entirely enough.

You have taken responsibility for your actions and now it is up to this girl to take responsibility for her actions. If she doesn't, she sets up her own pattern to continually be the victim, either of herself or someone else. By staying away, you give her the chance to understand this and become a more complete person who doesn't have to rely on someone else for emotional strength.

Also, by continuing to hop into the driver's seat, you run the risk of establishing your own psychological pattern of enabling.

Do not second guess your best efforts in such a situation:
You have done what you can.

Heart

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16-11-2014, 01:51 PM
RE: Suicide (or rather, helping a friend)
(16-11-2014 01:48 PM)kim Wrote:  
(16-11-2014 10:35 AM)Atothetheist Wrote:  I've done what I can.... But it may not be enough.

It is entirely enough.

You have taken responsibility for your actions and now it is up to this girl to take responsibility for her actions. If she doesn't, she sets up her own pattern to continually be the victim, either of herself or someone else. By staying away, you give her the chance to understand this and become a more complete person who doesn't have to rely on someone else for emotional strength.

Also, by continuing to hop into the driver's seat, you run the risk of establishing your own psychological pattern of enabling.

Do not second guess your best efforts in such a situation:
You have done what you can.

Heart

I understand.

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