Sun God
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12-05-2011, 01:09 PM
Sun God
My wife and I are due in about a week. I am bracing for all of the "Praise God" "I am so thankful for God for this miracle" and "I will pray for good health for you" I just get kinda sick with everyone assuming I believe in the same myths they do and think they are doing me a favor if they tell me they are praying for me. Maybe I am being a dick, please tell me if I am, but I think I will meet these people that tell me they are praying for me by explaining:

Thank you very much; you don't know what it means that you are praying for me. Now, just to clarify I believe in Sun God. Sun God, while more powerful than Yahweh, does have the disadvantage in that his mental telepathy is not as strong. To successfully pray to Sun God you need to write you message on one of those rockets you launch in 5th grade science class and shoot it up to him. He responds to this. Please do not waste your breath on prayers to Yahweh as that is pointless, Sun God is the one God that can help me out. I appreciate you doing all that you are doing for us in this time.
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12-05-2011, 01:41 PM
RE: Sun God
Clearly this man is bi-winning

Fight the system,

~~~but don't mute the opposition!~~~
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12-05-2011, 01:48 PM
 
RE: Sun God
J-Hova. You're my hero.
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12-05-2011, 01:51 PM
RE: Sun God
I can't worship the sun. That thing burns the shit outta me. Maybe I can worship my cats.

For God so loved the world that he arranged for everyone to both have free will and to suffer the terrible consequences of making the wrong choice. Kind of a dick move, God.
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12-05-2011, 04:18 PM
RE: Sun God
I would suggest saying something along the lines of:

"I appreciate your prayers. However, since I know that is something you feel is of the utmost importance, I cannot in good conscience, ask you to go to all that trouble for my family and I. Perhaps I could bring myself to accept something of less importance to you, but prayers are just too much. How bout, say...hmmm...a contribution to my childs college fund instead?"

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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13-05-2011, 12:16 AM (This post was last modified: 13-05-2011 03:05 PM by Observer.)
RE: Sun God
(12-05-2011 01:09 PM)J-Hova Wrote:  My wife and I are due in about a week.
Trying to grow your own food? Smile

Observer

Agnostic atheist
Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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13-05-2011, 01:15 PM
RE: Sun God
Hopefully your kid is not born at night.

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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13-05-2011, 01:33 PM
RE: Sun God
Gruzbrtchzagft is the only true God!

If want your child to be blessed, you need to smear yourself with faeces and give hugs to everyone crossing your path. Not doing so will cause his wrath to descend on the earth.

all hail Gruzbrtchzagft! Big Grin

"Infinitus est numerus stultorum." (The number of fools is infinite)
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14-05-2011, 11:48 AM
RE: Sun God
I almost spit out my coffee after reading this. Great stuff!
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14-05-2011, 03:52 PM
RE: Sun God
(13-05-2011 01:33 PM)Thammuz Wrote:  Gruzbrtchzagft is the only true God!

If want your child to be blessed, you need to smear yourself with faeces and give hugs to everyone crossing your path. Not doing so will cause his wrath to descend on the earth.

all hail Gruzbrtchzagft! Big Grin

Deciever! Inglip is the only and true god. Repent and embrace the glory of Lord Inglip. Tongue

"The tendency to turn human judgments into divine commands makes religion one of the most dangerous forces in the world.”
-Georgia Harkness.

"La fe es patrimonio de los pendejos. (Faith is patrimony of the dumbfucks)."
-Diego Rivera
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