Sunday Monday Sermon from the Book of TTA
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30-03-2014, 08:19 AM (This post was last modified: 30-03-2014 08:29 AM by Full Circle.)
Sunday Monday Sermon from the Book of TTA
You guys are an amazing bunch!

For whatever the reason I was looking for a quote from the Words I Want to Remember thread and was again blown away by your insight, humor and views!

In the last fourteen months I have compiled a Word.doc for my all-time favorites and they are my Sunday Morning Semon today. I have great respect and admiration for the collective wisdom of this place.

And now let us turn to page 666 of the hymnal...



kim Wrote:
I run the risk of appearing to give a shit.

Humakt Wrote:
A church of atheism, is kinda like a brothel of chastity.

Free Wrote:
How can anyone "become" an atheist when we are all born with no beliefs in the first place? All those who embrace atheism are simply reverting back to their default position and re-entering the realm of reason."

Rahn127 Wrote:
**** your beliefs aren't pulled out of a hat. They're pulled out of your ass and then we all have to deal with the verbal stench. And that takes a strong stomach.

kingschosen Wrote:
The Internet does weird things to people... anonymity is a powerful tool for unleashing an epidemic of dickish proportions.

Phaedrus Wrote:
Actually everyone is a tiny, insignificant speck of self-aware carbon with delusions of grandeur, existing mere moments on this tiny, damp ball of iron and silica, before vanishing, extinguished, disappearing suddenly into the cold, empty dark.

Impulse Wrote:
It's just that, for me at least, a god of any kind just seems like a random plug to stop up the drain of missing knowledge.

Buddy Christ Wrote:
Though honestly, I imagine the end of mankind to be the brilliance of science combined with the stupidity of religion.

Full Circle Wrote:
I have noticed that throughout history conversions to faith are at the point of a sword and deconversions from faith are at the point of a pen.

morondog Wrote:
Christ can go fuck himself with a pogo stick.

GirlyMan Wrote:
There is a vast immeasurable and impassable sea of ignorance between an uninformed opinion based solely on a wish and a prayer and an educated best-guess based on rational theories with plausible mechanisms of action informed by the evidence as presented by our current ability and technology to measure. The former is for children, the latter for adults. Chronological age not withstanding.

Smidgen Wrote:
And If I hear one more of them, even though I love them all dearly, tell me they are going to pray for my soul I think my head is going to explode.

amyb Wrote:
Any time I've been in church, I just took mental notes while playing along. Pretend you're anthropologist studying some weird culture.

Anjele Wrote:
Find another hobby, make some duck calls, or whittle something...maybe you could torture small animals.

Bucky Ball Wrote:
The default position, if we do not have complete knowledge is NOT "oh god did it". The default position is "we don't know yet".

cjs Wrote:
So it can be hard for theists and atheists both to argue some of it just because scientific concepts don't come shrink wrapped and tidy as religious concepts do.

Bucky Ball Wrote:
It's just the same old same old "complexity proves design" argument. It's bullshit. It's basically: The Anthropic Principle + God of the Gaps + Bible Ignorance + Ignorance of ALL the Earth Sciences + Wishful Thinking => Viola !!! Out pops the Christian god. Fancy that. Jesus H. Christ.

earmuffs Wrote:
To say that earth is but only a spec in the universe is hugely wrong.
The earth is not an insignificant spec in the universe...
Earth is an insignificant spec in the Milky Way galaxy...
The Milky Way is an insignificant spec in the Virgo Supercluster…
And then the Virgo Supercluster is an extremely insignificant spec in the observable universe.
Then if you want to go a step further, we don't know BUT for all we do know the observable universe could be an insignificant spec in the actual universe.

And this isn't taking into account that you are among 7 billion other people on this planet.

yakherder Wrote:
There is no fairness fairy out there making sure everything is right and just, just a bunch of primates fighting over a really complicated banana tree.

EvolutionKills Wrote:
Arguments aren't won with character, they're won with evidence and logic.

Phaedrus Wrote:
The concept of vicarious redemption -- the idea that someone else can magically take away your responsibility for any and all misdeeds you have committed -- is inherently wicked. It offers forgiveness where it has no right to, and damnation where it cannot possibly judge.

Buddy Christ Wrote:
Strangely, God never insists that the person sell all their belongings, glue pubes to their face, and move to northern Russia.

Mark Fulton Wrote:
Belief in Jesus is like smoking. It satisfies a need, yet ultimately is toxic and harms you without you knowing it. It also harms your children.

Luminon Wrote:
C'mon, what a wonderful opportunity! I've always wanted Jehovah's Witnesses to knock on my door.
I say, "What do you guys want?"
They say, "We want to talk about the Bible."
I say, "Sure thing, what do you want to know?"

Egor Wrote:
Your anonymity makes you pointless and irrelevant.
Katiegal responds:
A bit of irony... I wrote almost that exact final sentence in a short, symbolic post I wrote to god shortly before I proclaimed my atheism.

GirlyMan Wrote:
Religion is going extinct and what we are witnessing today are just the violent spasms commonly associated with death throes. It is collapsing under the weight of its own irrelevance.

Tartarus Sauce Wrote:
...if reality is an illusion, it is a cruelly persistent one.

houseofcantor Wrote:
A god validated by the theists around here would be a combination of Freddy Kruger and Bozo the Clown - only with extra bozo.

kim Wrote:
The neighbors' rabid kids are finally silent; they must have finally been hauled off to christeeland for their rituals. The littlest psychos need rabbit shaped sugary amphetamines because they just aren't confused enough by the celebration of brutalizing a human being to death only to have the guilt haunt everyone for thousands of years so they make up stories that they were visited by casper the friendly Jew.

Rahn127 Wrote:
What role does a god play in a natural universe with physical laws ?
God isn't required for fire to be a fire, nor does a cake need a dash of god for it to be a cake.
The universe itself doesn't need a god for it to exist.

amyb Wrote:
And when they say, " but I can feel Jesus in my heart!" WTF is that supposed to mean? They get a rush of serotonin and dopamine when they pray, or something, and they somehow think this proves the existence of god. No, it proves their neurotransmitters are doing stuff and that they get warm fuzzy feelings when thinking about Jesus. I get warm fuzzy feelings if I imagine millions of dollars in my bank account, but that doesn't mean the money is really there.

Luminon Wrote:
Religion is like a mold, it thrives in dark places.

Rahn127 Wrote:
Complexity is what we see when we don't understand how it all works.
Simplicity is what we see when we do

Chas Wrote:
The largest three religions are misogynistic, xenophobic, and violent. Their moralities are anti-human, shame-based, and disgusting.
Fuck religious morality.

Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:
I have little interest in your definition of god, or why you believe people possess empathy. I hold little interest in your monotheistic dog who believes in empathy...Or any of your vacillating, oft intelligible, vapid aphasia regurgitation of token phrases likely lifted from some self-proclaimed biblical scholar or cult leader.

evenheathen Wrote:
As an atheist I believe that this life is it. You interpret that right off to mean that I attribute no meaning to life. This would be a false assumption. If this is all I have, then every moment is that much more precious. Every chance I have to enjoy this beautiful, awesome earth and the wonderful people in my life is that much more valuable. I thank my lucky balls that I am fortunate to be able to play a small role in this clusterfuck of an existence we call life.

bbeljefe Wrote:
Religion is child abuse, regardless the degree to which it is inflicted upon children and regardless of whether or not it is accompanied by physical violence.

docskeptic Wrote:
This prophecy is necessary to justify Jesus coming from Nazareth. Nazareth was the Washington D.C. of ancient Israel, from which nothing good can come.

Full Circle Wrote:
[T]he only way we, as a species, will survive will be because of our research in labs as opposed to our prayers in pews.

Revenant77x Wrote:
Ultimately God is a construct that people give of themselves to ease conscience and feel a sense of serenity. But that comes at a great cost because the more you give to your fantasy the less you have of yourself.

Vera Wrote:
...I can honestly say I've never been happier and more at peace with the world and life than I am now that I know there is no hidden meaning or purpose.

Free Thought Wrote:
... I personally would bear no malice toward religions if they did not seek to quell curiosity and scientific advance and left children to develop mentally without being indoctrinated into a belief for which no credible evidence exists.

Carlo_The_Bugsmasher_Driver Wrote:
This is a completely non-functioning way to operate in a global Information Age. Attempting force the entire world and every American citizen to conform to this Iron Maiden of nationalism, bigotry, prejudice, and intolerance in order to stroke the egos of a mass of stupid ignorant assholes who throw screaming tantrums and threaten violence and revolution when they don't get their way is unacceptable.

Vera Wrote:
So, no, your hateful (and non-existent) god is not, cannot and never will be defined as love. How about we define him as the scourge of humankind for more than 2000 years? Now this definition I can get on board with.

Chas Wrote:
Calvinism is absurd. Predestination is philosophically incoherent and ethically repugnant.
God makes some souls to reward with eternal bliss and the rest to torture for eternity. Just for the fuck of it.
It is moral cowardice to believe in this. "Oh, this is God's plan - not my doing."

morlock Wrote:
By the time I got back from Vietnam, I knew full well that no benevolent hand was guiding the human race. Or, if I happened to be wrong, he/she needed to be indicted for incompetence.

Free Thought Wrote:
An absolutely horrendous, failed system which has been manipulated countless times by the more intelligent and malicious members of various populations, resulting in oppressed peoples globally by both themselves and others, childhood indoctrination and indoctrination of the mentally unstable or in need of help, the vilification of believers of other faiths or no faith at all, count less wars, cleansings and genocides all culminating into probably hundreds of millions, if not billions of deaths all told throughout all of Human history along with countless human rights violations past, present and undoubtedly future and the ever lurking threat of extremists from all sides.

What is religion if not absurd indeed.

Mark Fulton Wrote:
Yahweh has Munchausen syndrome by proxy (MSbP.) He’s a caregiver who deliberately exaggerates or fabricates problems (sins) in those under his care. He thereby gets attention. At times, he can assume the hero role by appearing to care for and 'save' the sinner.

Full Circle Wrote:
God goes to the psychiatrist.

Yahweh: "Doc, I'm not myself today, I haven't meddled in the lives of humans in two days"
Doc: "Why don't you fling some tornados at Oklahoma or something?"
Yahweh: "Great fucking idea Doc! The survivors will be singing my praises in no time!"
Doc: (thinking to himself, what an asshole).

thinkingmom Wrote:
The Christian plan of salvation -- I'm going to sacrifice myself to myself to satisfy rules that I wrote.

Anjele Wrote:
Every so often some group claims to have found 'The Ark' (angelic choir sings AHHHH). It's a miracle, whoops, never mind...not the ark. Keep looking, damn, thought we found it this time.

Wait...the ark, I see it, it's over there....nope, sorry, it's rock formation, or maybe it's the rapture starting...

Such crap

cjlr Wrote:
It's almost funny, but then you realize that it means some thinking human being out there is using their intellect, passion and dedication, not to some useful purpose or good, but to twist themselves through ever more contorted thought processes, in abject denial of the immense beauty and complexity of the entire world all around them, all in order to justify some demented and malicious fairy tale thought up by ignorant nobodies now millennia dead.

ghostexorcist Wrote:
...the focus of the classes is on the science itself. Then I gave him this analogy:

"Giving equal time to religious objections to evolution in a science class would be like giving equal time to Amish objections to cars in an automotive class. It's not going to help the mechanic learn how to fix an engine."

GirlyMan Wrote:
...my religious friends don't give a shit that I don't believe in a postmortem preservation of identity and I don't give a shit that they do.

Reltzik Wrote:
Because nothing brings people to Christ like treating them like shit.

Elesjei Wrote:
One is the claim that homosexuality is unnatural, which is absurd, since marriage is a human construct and the argument is coming from a clothed monkey typing on a keyboard.

Ferdinand Wrote:
I went to Subway today to get my favorite sandwich. The guy in front of me ordered a different sandwich. I was angry because he didn't get the same sandwich as me, even though it didn't affect me in any way.

THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE SOUND LIKE WHEN THEY SAY GAY MARRIAGE AFFECTS THEM.

Reltzik Wrote:
Science IS the cure for stupid. The problem is that, like most medicines, conspiracy nuts work themselves into a lather refusing to be cured.

houseofcantor Wrote:
Where's the celebration in human existence? Centuries of dogmatic religious oppression and persecution, or centuries of scientific exploration and enlightenment?

earmuffs Wrote:
Actually, you wanna know what religious groups I do have respect for? Those suicide cults.

ArchAtheistMichael Wrote:
I guess I would classify myself as an "Old" atheist. What people do in the privacy of their own homes is their business, and if they choose to worship a three legged dog with mange, I say have at it. It's when they attempt to push their beliefs on others that I have a problem with it. Just because they think their three-legged mangy dog has special powers doesn't mean that I should have money in my pocket that says, "In Buster We Trust".

morondog Wrote:
@ Xtians: Eventually you guys are gonna reach some level of dumb that's unsustainable.

onedream Wrote:
Arguing about which religion is more stupid is like arguing about whether John Lennon is more dead than JFK.

BlackMason Wrote:
Gnosticism and agnosticism are positions on knowledge. Gnostics believe that it is possible to have knowledge of a god. It is possible to understand the mind and will of a god. Agnostics believe that this is not possible. A god being would be too complex and/or far beyond our mortal grasp for example. Atheism and theism are positions on belief. Atheists do not believe that gods exist. Theists do. Therefore the different positions are not mutually exclusive. You can be an agnostic atheist as pointed out to you in a post above.

natachan Wrote:
I understand all the words he says, but not how they can be combined in that order.

Chas Wrote:
The more your beliefs deviate from objective reality, the higher the probability that said reality will kick your ass.

guitar_nut Wrote:
Life is a lot easier when you're not putting tremendous effort into sustaining a lie.

Foxen Wrote:
The point is that other theists, of differing belief systems, have the precise same valid arguments for dismissing your god that you do for dismissing their god.
When you can understand that, then you can see how silly the theistic belief system is.

anidominus Wrote:
...Now, just because scripture is inspired by God does not mean everything in it is true or should be followed.
Kestrel Wrote:
Spoken like a true Sadducee.
So who is to be the arbiter of what is true and should be followed? You? Your Pharisee teachers? Your gerbil?

Taqiyya Mockingbird Wrote:
You wouldn't (k)now a "piece of evidence"' if it bent your sorry ass over and fucked you with a cactus.

Blackhand293 Wrote:
I find it striking that theism and conspiracy theories are similar in may ways: exclusive knowledge, superiority due to being enlightened by said knowledge, the need to spread said knowledge and the belief that there is an adversary actively working against those with said knowledge.

true scotsman Wrote:
Faith is a mind destroying disease disguised as a moral virtue and religion is the primary vector of infection.



(I know some of these are mine but hey, I was quoted too. Big Grin )

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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30-03-2014, 08:27 AM
RE: Sunday Monday Sermon from the Book of TTA
Thanks for sharing, sometimes I miss updates to that thread. Now I need to try to remember who I told to torture small animals. Blink

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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30-03-2014, 08:32 AM
RE: Sunday Monday Sermon from the Book of TTA
(30-03-2014 08:27 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Thanks for sharing, sometimes I miss updates to that thread. Now I need to try to remember who I told to torture small animals. Blink

I can't imagine how many great lines I've missed. It simply isn't possible to read every post. This is just the tip of the iceberg!

Now, let us turn to the book of Gerbil and read from it...

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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30-03-2014, 01:59 PM
RE: Sunday Monday Sermon from the Book of TTA
bump...

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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20-12-2014, 12:35 AM
RE: Sunday Monday Sermon from the Book of TTA
Update on stuff I want to remember for my Sunday morning sermon.

rampant.a.i. Wrote:
Show me someone who is a hard line believer (that) the only morality is the objective morality of God, and I’ll show you someone with some skeletons in their closet who excuses questionable behavior with “but I’m a Christian now".

Banjo Wrote:
Here's the thing, were any of this true, Christian apologetics would not exist. One does not have to bend in multiple ways to defend electricity or aerodynamics.

Brian37 Wrote:
When theists brag about theology degrees to me it is like being an expert in the Star Wars series.

earmuffs Wrote:
Your dad is an idiot anyway. 97% of people in the world with AIDS reside in Africa. And that's not because Africa is full of gay people...
It's because they have unprotected sex because the Church is retarded and preaches abstinence rather then sensible sexual practices.

Shadow Fox Wrote:
Atheism is not a religion and it is not a science. It is not a philosophy, nor is it an understanding. It is not a thought, It is not faith. It not a belief and it is not stance.

Atheism is nothing more than the disbelief in the supernatural.

Period.

GirlyMan Wrote:
Plausible is generally accepted to mean a coherent explanation, as judged by a reasonable individual, of how the mind could possibly exist without the body and how they could possibly interact. Arguments for dualism are not only untenable, they are generally incoherent.

(Girly on “religions which promise a postmortem preservation of identity".)

evenheathen Wrote:
That's the standard method, at least with Christianity: instill fear, promise redemption with conditions, threaten ultimate suffering if you don't meet them. Everything else is just story telling for flavor. It's the fear of the unknown and the threat of eternal damnation that keeps people from questioning whether or not the stories are real.

That and church potlucks are always a good time, why trivialize it with logic and reality?

Beccs Wrote:
God works in delirious minds.

goodwithoutgod Wrote:
Science can't be addressed by opening another food pantry or thumping the Bible a little harder and screaming words like inerrancy. Science can only be addressed by all sides in the religion debate admitting that religion is a neurological disorder and that faith is the only cure.

DunkleSeele Wrote:
Jesus poledancing Christ, if your IQ got any lower it'd be legal to harvest your organs.

Chas Wrote:
They are True Believers with Unshakeable Faith.

It is impossible to embarrass them, they are immune to sarcasm and irony, their faith is a perfect reflective surface for nuance and subtlety. They have an infantile need for absolute answers and avoid cognitive dissonance by refusing to recognize or accept actual evidence.

They accept shallow, simplistic, ancient philosophy as the profound truth and final word as though human thought has not progressed since Aristotle or Aquinas.

The only thing that seems to rattle them is potty mouth. And sex.

WhiskeyDebates Wrote:
Atheists when presented with the unknown attempt to discover it and expand our knowledge.

Believers when presented with the unknown just assert that it's not unknown, that they already have the information, and make up stories to comfort themselves.

You fear the unknown, we revel in it’s discovery and understanding.

WillHopp Wrote:
You cannot believe people have freewill, god has a plan and prayers get answered. You can believe in one of these, but you can't believe in any two because they ultimately contradict one another.

RobbyPants Wrote:
God’s power frequently waxes and wanes depending on the proximity of skeptics.

WhiskeyDebates Wrote:
Non-believers are not interested in bringing believers down, we are interested in bringing you, and the species as a whole, UP. I know that when you think the universe was made with you in mind you like to think it's all about you but it's not. We want to grab mankind by it's hand and pull it out of the toxic mess that is religion and build a world free of superstitious nonsense where people actually care if what they believe comports to reality.

We have our eyes set firmly on building a better, brighter, more intelligent future while people like you are looking backwards 2000+ years trying to glean knowledge from a group of people who lived in a time when they shit in their water supply and thought illness came from demons.

You are holding us back so please kindly lose your superstitions or shut your ignorance hole and get the fuck out of our way while we build a better future for your children.

Michael_Tadlock Wrote:
There is not deeper meaning, only deeper understanding. This kind of thinking frightens people, but it is by far the most reasonable conclusion that relies on the fewest assumptions.

Dark Phoenix Wrote:
We have the displeasure to have read your unprincipled moral conniption when the only thing preventing the next endorsement of atrocity in your world view is for god to change his mind. In future case of moral outrage on your part, you revolting simpleton, I recommend masturbation as an alternative to posting here. The discharge has ambitions of a quality well beyond the scope of your authorship.

Dark Phoenix Wrote:
Reading your pathetic self contradictions holds me sharply in both alarm and entertainment. I can observe here, in writing, the utter collapse of your character as vividly and with captivation as that of an ostentatiously large collapsing structure. The descent of your wounded mind into mad visions of symbols and mystical patterns followed by depression and pointlessness is the ultimate refutation of your claim to exclusive meaning in life. It seems god is not only no good but no good for you. I had not fathomed this crossroads of hubris, stupefaction, and double dealing hypocrisy. The spectacle steals away my breath.

Free Wrote:
Atheists - We make honest assessments of reality, whereas you live in an archaic, unprovable, hypocritical, and demonstrably hateful fantasy world in which you pitifully throw stones at a titanium based monolith we atheists commonly refer to as “reality.”

Free Wrote:
At least we don’t use a book of horrors as some kind of guide on how we should conduct our lives...

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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20-12-2014, 01:29 AM
RE: Sunday Monday Sermon from the Book of TTA
(30-03-2014 08:27 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Thanks for sharing, sometimes I miss updates to that thread. Now I need to try to remember who I told to torture small animals. Blink

And I probably said the "such crap" Weeping

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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20-12-2014, 08:13 AM
RE: Sunday Monday Sermon from the Book of TTA
God Confused Everyone else gets real thoughtful, interesting sound-bites about how wonderful and mystical it is to be human. I get quoted as "Christ can go fuck himself with a pogo stick"... Way to go dog, way to go.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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20-12-2014, 08:37 AM (This post was last modified: 20-12-2014 08:41 AM by goodwithoutgod.)
RE: Sunday Monday Sermon from the Book of TTA
(20-12-2014 08:13 AM)morondog Wrote:  God Confused Everyone else gets real thoughtful, interesting sound-bites about how wonderful and mystical it is to be human. I get quoted as "Christ can go fuck himself with a pogo stick"... Way to go dog, way to go.

hilarious visual though Thumbsup

and then on a whim I google images and find this......

[Image: 54g7lk.jpg]

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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20-12-2014, 09:21 AM
RE: Sunday Monday Sermon from the Book of TTA
(20-12-2014 01:29 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  
(30-03-2014 08:27 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Thanks for sharing, sometimes I miss updates to that thread. Now I need to try to remember who I told to torture small animals. Blink

And I probably said the "such crap" Weeping

You did but it was delivered with such aplomb Big Grin

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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20-12-2014, 04:38 PM
RE: Sunday Monday Sermon from the Book of TTA
Maybe add this one from moron dog

You realise that when you say "Jesus Christ" I hear "The Emptiness". When you say "thank you Jesus" it's the same to me as if you were thanking the vacuum of outer space? Following Jesus is following a chimera, a non-entity. Nothingness. The prophets of your God are listening to their own mad delusions. Following Jesus is following what someone else says is Jesus, and *that* someone else got their Jesus either from their own imagination or from another follower. The blind leading the blind.
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