Super heated and angry life rant part 2
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02-11-2014, 11:00 PM
Super heated and angry life rant part 2
If this has typos I don't even care because I'm posting this only minutes after this confrontation with my mom.

Well over the past couple of weeks I have finalized the living arrangements with the friend I am moving in with and my aunt who is helping me purchase a vehicle so long as I, in return, refund the money I borrow back to the college funds I am taking from my savings (monthly payments as soon as I have a job.) My mom knows nothing of these arrangements to purchase a vehicle for myself, because I know she would call me selfish and have fits of anger, but in order for me to help her I need to have my priorities straight (I don't) and I can't miracle work the consequences of HER actions. However, she now knows that I won't be living at home much longer.

When I first told her she was really angry. She basically made it out like I was "abandoning her during this time of stress" and I literally didn't know what to say to that. It came down to: if I didn't move, I wouldn't have a way to college next semester. I rely on two people to get back and forth to school. One of those two people is transferring colleges and dorming at the college he is transferring to. The second is moving out and she'll be living closer to the college we all go to. If I quit college I don't get my grant money for next semester, and I won't qualify for the same grant next fall either. So I basically wouldn't be able to go back to college for a year and a half. If I stay home, I'm not going to have a way to college, and well, the situation of me buying a car in my name for my mom to use was discussed in my last thread. And even my aunt, who is loaning me the money for this car, made it clear that the car would not be my mother's to use.

So after I told my mom, she was angry for a couple of minutes, then she calmed down and seemed understanding. Around three hours later, she calls me to fold her laundry. As I'm folding her laundry, she starts getting angry about me moving again and tells me I have to leave the queen mattress I just recently received from the friend I am moving in with. I was taking the mattress when I moved because she was leaving her full mattress at her home (she and I are sharing a room). My mom got angry about how I had thrown the old twin mattress out, which if I knew all of this was going to happen I wouldn't have. She was mainly angry because my sister wouldn't have a mattress, but 1.) my sister has always shared a room with my mom and my mom didn't seem optimistic about my sister finally having her own bedroom anyways, and 2.) my mom is able to get a queen sized mattress from her sister (she could then give my sister her full sized mattress), she just fights with her sister non stop for no fucking reason, talks shit about her behind her back, and wonders why none of our family talks to her. She said to me "You made me throw out that mattress" and I responded "I didn't make you throw out anything. I can't make you do anything. You told me to throw it out." because the day we brought in the queen mattress, I asked my mom what she wanted me to do with the twin and my mom told me to throw it out. Later I even said that if I knew these situations were going to unfold, I would've kept the old mattress in my room, to which she called me a liar, slammed my bed room door and broke a few framed pictures.

Also, she told me that when I moved she wasn't paying for my cellphone (I expected that anyways, but I mean I'll have a job shortly after I get settled because I basically already have one- the manager knows and likes me- I just need to get my priorities straightened out, AND I have a smartphone. I can still use it with wifi and use a call app number so people can still get in touch with me) and that I couldn't take my TV or my laptop with me. My TV I wouldn't be too bothered about because it was thrifted anyways, but my laptop is kind of a necessity for college, even though I thrifted it as well. It has all of my college work on it, I got all of the office programs for FREE when I bought it, and I'll be rooming with three other college students as well, so it's a partial requirement for me to have... I have picked out all of the electronics in our house because my mom isn't very technology savvy- I've shopped for our phones, TV's, the two computers we have, and the game consoles we have. My TV was only $270 (bought refurbished from Amazon) and my laptop was $230 from local laptop repair shop. Together that is $500 and that is exactly how much money I am giving my mom to pay for her fucking consequences (ticket from driving without insurance + court fees + whatever the douchebag from the car accident demands of my mom in court) so in my opinion, being I'm the one with the money (that is my COLLEGE GRANT MONEY LMAO) that's keeping her from going to jail, I feel like I'm entitled to keep my things that equal the value of the money I'm using to pay for her mistakes.

Am I in the wrong? Because I feel my point of view is completely justifiable and I feel like my life is the largest sack of fucking retardation :-)
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02-11-2014, 11:14 PM
RE: Super heated and angry life rant part 2
You have the money, you are in the power position. Don't leg her bullshit you.

Tell her the stuff you WILL take with you and she won't complain about or you won't help her out of her mess. She can bitch all she wants from a jail cell. OR she can STFU and let you leave with your belongings peacefully.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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02-11-2014, 11:18 PM
RE: Super heated and angry life rant part 2
Nope, not at all. Frankly I'd take my shit, and not give her a dime.

But that's probably not worth the trouble it would cause. But sometimes honestly it just feels good.

Hug


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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02-11-2014, 11:21 PM
RE: Super heated and angry life rant part 2
(02-11-2014 11:14 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  You have the money, you are in the power position. Don't leg her bullshit you.

Tell her the stuff you WILL take with you and she won't complain about or you won't help her out of her mess. She can bitch all she wants from a jail cell. OR she can STFU and let you leave with your belongings peacefully.

It's either she allows me to take my belongings and I pay her tickets and court fees, OR she prevents me from taking my belongings and I use the saved grant money that would've been used to pay for her mistakes to replace my college laptop.

It's really dumb that she's even doing this.

And with the whole mattress thing, if she weren't so stubborn and two faced, she'd have a queen mattress and a full for my little sister.
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02-11-2014, 11:24 PM
RE: Super heated and angry life rant part 2
I mean, I really hate even being put in the position where I have to stand up to the authority of my mother because, point blank, my mother is terrifying, but I also love her (when she's not being fucking ridiculous.)
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02-11-2014, 11:25 PM
RE: Super heated and angry life rant part 2
Take the stuff, if she stops you and you have literally no way of getting your hands on it then buy new stuff with the money you were gonna give her.

Tbh, if she wants to keep $500 worth of equipment (which isn't actually now worth $500 because it loses value as you use it) instead of having $500 cash then that would seem to work in your favour instead of hers anyway.

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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02-11-2014, 11:37 PM
RE: Super heated and angry life rant part 2
Yo mama is nuts Sad

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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02-11-2014, 11:39 PM
RE: Super heated and angry life rant part 2
(02-11-2014 11:00 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  Am I in the wrong? Because I feel my point of view is completely justifiable and I feel like my life is the largest sack of fucking retardation :-)

The first thing that comes to mind is the song Message from Ferdinand by the Big Fish Ensemble

"Ferdinand is on his way with a screw loose And hell to pay!
Running around with cranked up motor He's a runaway train! He's a chain smoker!
See Ferdinand smash the glass, see Ferdinand slam the door
See Ferdinand say that he won't take it any more He won't take it any more!"

Anyway, I think you'd be justified to take the laptop and mattress too. BUT...the most important this is getting out, which it sound like you're doing. Don't let your mom guilt trip you into sabotaging your future to fix her mistakes.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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02-11-2014, 11:55 PM
RE: Super heated and angry life rant part 2
(02-11-2014 11:39 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  
(02-11-2014 11:00 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  Am I in the wrong? Because I feel my point of view is completely justifiable and I feel like my life is the largest sack of fucking retardation :-)

The first thing that comes to mind is the song Message from Ferdinand by the Big Fish Ensemble

"Ferdinand is on his way with a screw loose And hell to pay!
Running around with cranked up motor He's a runaway train! He's a chain smoker!
See Ferdinand smash the glass, see Ferdinand slam the door
See Ferdinand say that he won't take it any more He won't take it any more!"

Anyway, I think you'd be justified to take the laptop and mattress too. BUT...the most important this is getting out, which it sound like you're doing. Don't let your mom guilt trip you into sabotaging your future to fix her mistakes.

Well, that did get a good laugh out of me. Big Grin

I think what is going to be most difficult for my mom to cope with and for me to tolerate is my mom realizing she, for once, does not have authority over me in this situation. I'm just hoping I don't have to call the police again this time, because I'm a bit terrified of her (no surprise there.) Even when I'm right and I muster up the courage to stand up to her (which is what I'm going to have to do in this situation) she doesn't seem to even want to listen to what I have to say, which is a bit frustrating. But if push comes to shove, she'll put herself in jail if she's that reckless... Of course, I won't feel good about it, but she's a 51 yro woman, not a child.
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03-11-2014, 04:28 AM
RE: Super heated and angry life rant part 2
All of your college work from your laptop, upload to google drive or dropbox or some other free cloud hosting service, just on the off chance you dont get to keep it, or it gets destroyed or something.

Other than that.... soon you will be undertaking one of the most exciting journeys of the start of your adulthood, that is moving out and gaining independence and freedom.

I sincerely wish you the best of luck with that ferdi, i think your mom is holding you back.

I feel so much, and yet I feel nothing.
I am a rock, I am the sky, the birds and the trees and everything beyond.
I am the wind, in the fields in which I roar. I am the water, in which I drown.
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