TOTALLY NOT A STEALTHY CHRISTMAS THREAD *Keep out HOC*
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16-11-2012, 12:11 PM
RE: Cool gift ideas, for yourself ;) and others
(16-11-2012 11:27 AM)houseofcantor Wrote:  Fuck gifts. Angry
Fuck da police!

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16-11-2012, 12:14 PM
RE: TOTALLY NOT A STEALTHY CHRISTMAS THREAD *Keep out HOC*
LEGO's makes an awesome gift.

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16-11-2012, 12:35 PM
RE: TOTALLY NOT A STEALTHY CHRISTMAS THREAD *Keep out HOC*
I love to give people stuff. But not just at some specified "holy" day of the year. Not just "things" either - I like to visit and share conversation - to me that's a gift.

I like to introduce people to different music venues or restaurants they may not be familiar with. I also like to share things that I think maybe some people haven't seen - I take people to the museum all the time - that way I get to doubly enjoy my museum membership. For me, giving is about getting to know one another through the sharing of knowledge, interests, and opinions.

Fuck Christmas - I gift people whenever I want. On the 15th of Dec, I plan to gather with a few pals and have a drink to mark the year's passing of Christopher Hitchens. I'm sure that will fully make up for any fake, Christee, holiday crap I'll have to endure and then New Year's celebrations will kick everything to the curb.

Giving is a kind of self serving experience and I'll take what I can get... whatever way I can get it. Wink

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17-11-2012, 02:41 AM (This post was last modified: 17-11-2012 02:47 AM by Misanthropik.)
RE: TOTALLY NOT A STEALTHY CHRISTMAS THREAD *Keep out HOC*
I've only given one Christmas gift in my entire life. It was to a woman with whom I'd been trying to sleep for some time. I remembered that she was having trouble finding silver garlin for her tree, so she said she was going to go with brown instead, "Because it's a shitty Christmas anyway; might as well make a brown-themed tree".

So I went out one night after work and searched high and low for silver garlin. Every place I went was sold out, so I went home and checked around online. The delivery dates were too late to be worth it, so I went back out at around 1am and decided I'd search Walmart one more time. After searching the place with a fine-toothed comb, I finally came upon a small cardboard display of garlin in the deepest darkest corner of the Christmas section. Collecting my spoils, I bought a nice gift bag and a card and went home to go to work wrapping everything to look as sophistocated as possible. I was trying to figure out what to write on the card; wracking my brain for something deep and romantic that would knock her off her feet, but just how fuckin' deep can you go about garlin? Not very, so I decided on something sweet but cheesy which I knew would make her smile:

"Nobody should have a completely shitty Christmas, so here's a silver-lining for you."

(See what I did there? Laughat ) So, with the gift all wrapped up, I went to work the next day and put the gift bag in the safest place I could find. When the lunch hour rolled around, I sat in the break room eating a sandwich and staring at the bag. I was partly hyping myself up; partly kicking myself in the ass for assuming to present such a cheesy fuckin' card to this chick. So I saught the advice of all the females on staff that night; asking what they would think if they got a card like that. I got plenty of encouragement, but I was still slightly nervous because I REALLY wanted to get in this chick's pants.

So finally, it came time to go home, and I knew that I had about 5 minutes before the woman in question got off work - way on the other side of town. The snow had started coming down about an hour earlier, and by that point, it was blinding. The roads were slick and I could barely see the dull orange headlights of oncoming cars through the wall of snow and fog. I remember passing more than one car which had slid off the side of the road in various places around town, but I pressed on with as much haste as I could; obsessively looking at my watch the whole time. I finally reached the 7-11 where she worked and parked outside next to her car. After several minutes had passed, I wondered where she could be, and suddenly it dawned on me that she worked an hour later than I thought. So I sat there in the freezing cold like an assohole for an hour before she finally came outside.

After the usual friendly greetings, I told her that I had a gift for her. My confidence was high. My gift meant many things: I had paid attention to the most minute details of her words a week before; I didn't want her to have a sad or lonely holiday; I was willing to go out of my way to track down, package and hire an armed security unit to protect a fucking reef of garlin, all for her; and that I cared enough to traverse the most trecherous blizzard - at great personal risk - to ensure the timely arrival of the precious package. So, what happened?

She read the card, chuckled a bit, gave me a big hug and told me I was a "sweetie", then hopped in her car and drove off into the night.

Angry

That was the end of my short-lived gift-giving career.

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
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17-11-2012, 03:05 AM
RE: Cool gift ideas, for yourself ;) and others
(16-11-2012 11:48 AM)houseofcantor Wrote:  Don't be acting like this ain't some kind of stealth Christmas thread. I'm on to you people. Angry


Oh suspicious HoC.

This is obviously a Giftmas thread.

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17-11-2012, 04:09 AM
RE: TOTALLY NOT A STEALTHY CHRISTMAS THREAD *Keep out HOC*
(17-11-2012 02:41 AM)Misanthropik Wrote:  I've only given one Christmas gift in my entire life. It was to a woman with whom I'd been trying to sleep for some time. I remembered that she was having trouble finding silver garlin
...


Nice story.

But WTF is garlin?

I googled and only got a fat guy called Jeff.
(or did I mean garlic; or did I mean garland? No I fucking didn't)

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17-11-2012, 06:13 AM
RE: TOTALLY NOT A STEALTHY CHRISTMAS THREAD *Keep out HOC*
Garland. Dumbass.

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17-11-2012, 06:16 AM
RE: TOTALLY NOT A STEALTHY CHRISTMAS THREAD *Keep out HOC*
[Image: Garland.jpg]

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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17-11-2012, 06:50 AM
TOTALLY NOT A STEALTHY CHRISTMAS THREAD *Keep out HOC*
(17-11-2012 06:13 AM)houseofcantor Wrote:  Garland. Dumbass.

Judy?

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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17-11-2012, 06:55 AM
RE: TOTALLY NOT A STEALTHY CHRISTMAS THREAD *Keep out HOC*
(17-11-2012 06:50 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  
(17-11-2012 06:13 AM)houseofcantor Wrote:  Garland. Dumbass.

Judy?
Obviously. Dumbass. Dodgy

Just as obviously, the misanthrope meant tinsel, but he's another dumbass. Evil_monster

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