TTA Zombie Survival Skills
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07-12-2014, 07:54 PM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
On the whole, I think I'm more likely to cause a zombie apocalypse than survive one.

If there is no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world.

Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior.

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07-12-2014, 08:12 PM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
(13-10-2014 09:40 AM)Nurse Wrote:  My favorite TV show is The Walking Dead. Last night was the season premiere and it got me thinking about how I would survive an apocalypse.

Why should you be a part of my clan? What skills do you have that would be useful in a zombie apocalypse? Feel free to inflate your ego and share what would make you a survival of the fittest badass.


So, TTA, here's our lovely scenario. The Rapture occurs today: Christian souls disappear to heaven where they are forced to spend eternity in bowing in worship to the psychopathic Jehovah. Persons of other faiths have their souls banished to hell. The dead rise up out of the ground. The theists alive at the rapture leave behind their walking, thoughtless bodies. God curses the Zombies to eat living human flesh as a memorial to the Christ. We atheists are left behind to deal with the aftermath of a collapsed societal infrastructure.

[Image: frabz-Zombie-Jesus-Died-for-our-sins-but...8c0bfe.jpg]


I'll go first!

- As a former ER nurse, I have experience with traumatic injuries, a wide range of disease processes, chemical and radiation exposures.

-I was trained in management of aggressive behavior and got in a few fights in the emergency department. I can be scrappy.

- I've been shooting guns since I was 10. I also have no qualms about shooting a zombie fucker in the head. Hobo

- I have lived on a farm. I know how to build fences - I'll supervise.

- I know how to grow veggies, strip sugar cane, etc

- I'm a good cook.

[Image: the-walking-dead-meme-600x376.jpg]

We capture the Christ Zombie and take him to the CDC bunker. We wait at your house until they figure this shit out. Meanwhile the Z's get a whiff of us getting plumped up on all of the great food we're eating. Luckily, it only takes a pike to the head. They may be walkin' but they ain't talkin' Frikking Zombies.

The second mouse gets the cheese.
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18-12-2014, 07:39 PM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
I can write kick-ass songs that would serve as the perfect soundtrack to a post-apocalyptic world dominated by atheist survivors:

http://youtu.be/zAWy1uWJ8V4

http://youtu.be/GbjP56QD3mE

https://maxmaharaja.bandcamp.com/
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19-12-2014, 03:10 PM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
I think the zombie apocalypse is already upon us. Ever been to a grocery store after 9pm? The meth heads with the pale yellow skin and open sores on their faces, dirty Obama t-shirts, food stamp card in hand, walking slow and grunting while they steal anything they can sell for more drugs. Zombies man. I hate 'em.

Death is a debt we all must pay.
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19-12-2014, 03:14 PM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
Why would a republican be wearing an Obama t-shirt?

Save a life. Adopt a greyhound.

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19-12-2014, 03:20 PM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
(19-12-2014 03:14 PM)Popeyes Pappy Wrote:  Why would a republican be wearing an Obama t-shirt?

They wouldn't, that's my point.

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19-12-2014, 03:26 PM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
Sorry but your typical meth bust around here WOULD be republicans.

These people (zombie meth heads)

[Image: 15062244-mmmain.jpg]

are not democrats, and the only Obama t-shirt you might catch one of them wearing would have crosshairs on it.

Save a life. Adopt a greyhound.

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19-12-2014, 08:57 PM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
(19-12-2014 03:10 PM)Patriot10mm Wrote:  Ever been to a grocery store after 9pm? The meth heads with the pale yellow skin and open sores on their faces, dirty Obama t-shirts, food stamp card in hand, walking slow and grunting while they steal anything they can sell for more drugs. Zombies man. I hate 'em.

Where the fuck you live? Here in the Peoples Republic of Maryland after 2100 in a grocery store leads to interesting conversations between strangers like "Have you ever really looked at bread before?" "I know right, look at all the varieties." followed by 20 minutes of mutual contemplation.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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20-12-2014, 04:35 PM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
(19-12-2014 08:57 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(19-12-2014 03:10 PM)Patriot10mm Wrote:  Ever been to a grocery store after 9pm? The meth heads with the pale yellow skin and open sores on their faces, dirty Obama t-shirts, food stamp card in hand, walking slow and grunting while they steal anything they can sell for more drugs. Zombies man. I hate 'em.

Where the fuck you live? Here in the Peoples Republic of Maryland after 2100 in a grocery store leads to interesting conversations between strangers like "Have you ever really looked at bread before?" "I know right, look at all the varieties." followed by 20 minutes of mutual contemplation.

2100 or later Walmart becomes Walmark 'round these parts. Unfortunately, you're more likely to find people perusing the aisles for ingredients to cook meth in their motel coffee pots than discussing the merits of Cheetos vs Doritos, whole wheat or white bread, pizza rolls or bagel bites.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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10-08-2015, 12:50 PM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
I'm drinking a hard apple cider with honey and cherry - "Zombie Killer." Must add to apocalypse homebrew recipes Tongue

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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