TTA Zombie Survival Skills
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10-08-2015, 03:17 PM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
(13-10-2014 09:40 AM)Nurse Wrote:  My favorite TV show is The Walking Dead. Last night was the season premiere and it got me thinking about how I would survive an apocalypse.

Why should you be a part of my clan? What skills do you have that would be useful in a zombie apocalypse? Feel free to inflate your ego and share what would make you a survival of the fittest badass.


So, TTA, here's our lovely scenario. The Rapture occurs today: Christian souls disappear to heaven where they are forced to spend eternity in bowing in worship to the psychopathic Jehovah. Persons of other faiths have their souls banished to hell. The dead rise up out of the ground. The theists alive at the rapture leave behind their walking, thoughtless bodies. God curses the Zombies to eat living human flesh as a memorial to the Christ. We atheists are left behind to deal with the aftermath of a collapsed societal infrastructure.

[Image: frabz-Zombie-Jesus-Died-for-our-sins-but...8c0bfe.jpg]


I'll go first!

- As a former ER nurse, I have experience with traumatic injuries, a wide range of disease processes, chemical and radiation exposures.

-I was trained in management of aggressive behavior and got in a few fights in the emergency department. I can be scrappy.

- I've been shooting guns since I was 10. I also have no qualms about shooting a zombie fucker in the head. Hobo

- I have lived on a farm. I know how to build fences - I'll supervise.

- I know how to grow veggies, strip sugar cane, etc

- I'm a good cook.

[Image: the-walking-dead-meme-600x376.jpg]

My plan is to be best friends with you. Smartass

. . . ................................ ......................................... . [Image: 2dsmnow.gif] Eat at Joe's
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11-08-2015, 08:33 AM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
1. I study survival methods for fun. That includes foraging for food, trapping food, finding water sources, making water drinkable, building shelters, a million and one ways to start a fire ( I can start a fire with a tampon, two planks of wood and some wood ash Smile). I know how to forage for edible plants and I also have 15 years of experience hunting wild edible mushrooms (doesn't to much for nutrition but lots for flavor)

2. I am cpr and first aid certified and also have some experience in sports therapy ( can wrap sprains, various injuries rather well).

3. I am an excellent shot (aced a FBI standard shooting test, leaving a solid hole at center mass of the target)

4. I have studied martial arts since I was three. I was first taught by a friend of the family who immigrated here from China via Vietnam. He had learned from monks and wouldn't even train his own kids (this did create some tension). After that I studied Shito Ryu Karate, Northern Shaolin Long Fist, Ying Jow Pai, Choy Lay Fut, Yau Kung Mun, Wing Chun, Hung Gar, Yang Taiji, Xingyi, Baguazhang and Jeet Kune Do.

5. I have an exceptional sense of humor and will help you keep your sanity by making you laugh a lot.

(22-08-2015 07:30 PM)Revenant77x Wrote:  It is by will alone I set my brows in motion it is by the conditioner of avocado that the brows acquire volume the skin acquires spots the spots become a warning. It is by will alone I set my brows in motion.
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11-08-2015, 09:02 AM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
(11-08-2015 08:33 AM)Octapulse Wrote:  1. I study survival methods for fun. That includes foraging for food, trapping food, finding water sources, making water drinkable, building shelters, a million and one ways to start a fire ( I can start a fire with a tampon, two planks of wood and some wood ash Smile). I know how to forage for edible plants and I also have 15 years of experience hunting wild edible mushrooms (doesn't to much for nutrition but lots for flavor)

2. I am cpr and first aid certified and also have some experience in sports therapy ( can wrap sprains, various injuries rather well).

3. I am an excellent shot (aced a FBI standard shooting test, leaving a solid hole at center mass of the target)

4. I have studied martial arts since I was three. I was first taught by a friend of the family who immigrated here from China via Vietnam. He had learned from monks and wouldn't even train his own kids (this did create some tension). After that I studied Shito Ryu Karate, Northern Shaolin Long Fist, Ying Jow Pai, Choy Lay Fut, Yau Kung Mun, Wing Chun, Hung Gar, Yang Taiji, Xingyi, Baguazhang and Jeet Kune Do.

5. I have an exceptional sense of humor and will help you keep your sanity by making you laugh a lot.

Hey don't underestimate those mushrooms. They may be low calorie but they're micro-nutrient packed, so they'll at least help support healthy cognitive and immune system functions while you're starving to death Tongue But really, nutrient deficiency can become a big problem after a couple weeks in a survival situation. Even if you can find enough calories to stay alive, things can get pretty miserable when you start to develop mysterious rashes and your immune system spontaneously craps out and you can no longer fight off infections in the inevitable bumps and scrapes that go along with being outdoors.

I've taken my 3 year old foraging a couple times in Quebec. He's catching on pretty quick, as far as remembering which plants/mushrooms/roots are safe to eat and which aren't. I've also been showing him how to quickly find big, fat, nutritious insects, though I don't actually feed him any. Just making sure he knows in case the zombies come. Gotta teach the kids what's important, you know.

'Murican Canadian
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11-08-2015, 09:15 AM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
-- I'm a MacGyver kinda guy, I can jerry-rig a lot out of a little.

-- shot expert in the USAF (40 out of 40 @ 100 yds) on the M-16

-- former firefighter/EMT, won't freak out at the sight of blood

-- I'm a guitarist of some skill and can entertain around the campfire

-- I'm damned good on a grill
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11-08-2015, 09:26 AM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
I have some medical training so I can help your asses if you get hurt. I am also pretty flexible so I can get into and out of places most people probably can't. Might be helpful in obtaining food or other things *shrugs*... I'm also fairly calm in stressful situations. I'm also vegan so I won't eat any of your food Tongue
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11-08-2015, 09:46 AM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
I've got all the weaponry, all the survival supplies, independent power supplies, even a hand pump for water...

And, if we don't have it -- I can build it in the machine shop.....

Bring on them zombie mofos.....

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The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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11-08-2015, 09:48 AM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
(11-08-2015 09:46 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  I've got all the weaponry, all the survival supplies, independent power supplies, even a hand pump for water...

And, if we don't have it -- I can build it in the machine shop.....

Bring on them zombie mofos.....

I'm obsessed with the idea of making my base of operations around a hot spring in the Rockies, but I'm sure we can get a trade network going and use each others' homes as safe houses.

'Murican Canadian
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11-08-2015, 09:50 AM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
If the shit totally hits the fan - I'm going to take over the local hydro-electric dam and live there.....


Free power all year round....

Heat in the winter, air conditioning in the summer - and a ready supply of fish for dinner....

Big Grin

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The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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11-08-2015, 09:52 AM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
(11-08-2015 09:50 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  If the shit totally hits the fan - I'm going to take over the local hydro-electric dam and live there.....


Free power all year round....

Heat in the winter, air conditioning in the summer - and a ready supply of fish for dinner....

Big Grin

I was gonna get some geothermal power going and build some greenhouses around the hot springs. Of course, that would only work for a small group, and I wouldn't have the fish.

'Murican Canadian
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11-08-2015, 10:00 AM
RE: TTA Zombie Survival Skills
(11-08-2015 09:26 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I am also pretty flexible
Yes, I can think of some posit...khm...I mean situations where that can be useful. Cool

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