Take the Elevator to Heaven
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14-09-2010, 02:50 PM
Take the Elevator to Heaven
According to the bible, you can take an elevator to heaven. All you have to do is ride up an elevator, exit the elevator on any floor above the tenth floor and step off the building into heaven.

God prevented Babalonians from building a tower to heaven. Since It took the Egyptians around a thousand years of tomb building to generate the skills to build the great pyramid and it took the whole empire to construct it, the Babalonians would not have been able to build a tower taller than the great pyramid. (The great pyramid was the tallest man made structure for over 3,000 years). So heaven can't be more than ten stories above the ground.

So, why can't we go to heaven by elevator, helicopter, airplane, hot air balloon, blimp. zeppelin or rocket?

Why have non of the space probes sent back pictures of heaven as they passed through heaven on their way to colliding with the firmament?
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Maybe heaven is a great big trailer and god hitched it up to big Ram truck and hauled it to the other side of the Ort Cloud.
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14-09-2010, 03:28 PM
 
RE: Take the Elevator to Heaven
Obviously you can't. Ask a Christian and he'll say "Oh but its symbolic." What a load of shit...
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14-09-2010, 03:41 PM
 
RE: Take the Elevator to Heaven
Gah, haven't you seen the eye of god photo from the hubble? Clearly that is god staring at you with his one creepy eye. I never knew god is a cyclops but apparently he is. And no, that is not just a bunch of gases, it is an eyeball I say!

...I prefer a stairway to heaven... Cool
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14-09-2010, 05:46 PM
RE: Take the Elevator to Heaven
I think god was just having a bad day. I can't help but picture some little brat stomping on a sand castle.

I don't believe Jesus is the son of God until I see the long form birth certificate!
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14-09-2010, 05:49 PM
RE: Take the Elevator to Heaven
(14-09-2010 03:41 PM)Sunshine Wrote:  ...I prefer a stairway to heaven... Cool

I think I'll take the escalator, thanks

Hey brother christian, with your high and mighty errand, your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying.

"This machine kills fascists..."

"Well this machine kills commies!"
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14-09-2010, 06:14 PM
 
RE: Take the Elevator to Heaven
That was a reference to the Led Zeppelin song. "and she's buy-uy-ing her stair-air-way to hea-eh-ven" ...for reals, I'd take the Willy Wonka elevator...or a jet pack.
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14-09-2010, 10:53 PM
RE: Take the Elevator to Heaven
(14-09-2010 03:41 PM)Sunshine Wrote:  I prefer a stairway to heaven.

Try the CN tower in Toronto, Ontario. It was and may still be the worlds tallest free-standing structure.

(It's in Canada, for those who are far away).
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15-09-2010, 07:27 AM
RE: Take the Elevator to Heaven
Pretty sure the CN tower lost it's title a few years back. Tallest today is the Burj Kalifa (not sure of the spelling) I believe. I'd google it but I'm lazy this morning! LOL

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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15-09-2010, 08:55 AM
RE: Take the Elevator to Heaven
And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our souls...

"Owl," said Rabbit shortly, "you and I have brains. The others have fluff. If there is any thinking to be done in this Forest - and when I say thinking I mean thinking - you and I must do it."
- A. A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner
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15-09-2010, 12:06 PM
 
RE: Take the Elevator to Heaven
...there walks a lady we all know.

Ok, I have to tell this funny story now, I can't resist any longer. (sry, I know off subject). I was once told by a Christian that Stairway to Heaven was a Christian song. That the line "she's buying her stairway to heaven" meant she was tithing. Can't you just picture the Christian rock band at church rocking out to stairway to heaven as they passed the collection plate. "Here you go everyone, put in some money to buy your way into heaven." LMAO....silly Christians...
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