Talking eyes (Leela's book)
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16-05-2012, 03:44 PM
Talking eyes (Leela's book)
Recently I had a great idea for a book. And I decided to start writing it like NOW NOW.
I would like to share with you and if you like, give me feedback.

First things first:
This is a fictional story, none of the people in the story do really exist.
I did not steal any ideas or whatever, this comes straight out of my brain.
Yes, I want to get it printed, when it is done.
It is written in first person, this does not mean that I experienced it Smile

Starting with the... dunno... introduction. It's not really a chapter.

Smart, clear, blue eyes. Eyes of a person that pays a lot of attention but these specific eyes would tell you a life story. These eyes would tell you a lot of wise things, and the owner of these eyes would never say a word about the things, the eyes were talking about.
You wouldn't even notice these eyes usually, they where hidden behind dark hair that fell into the face because her bangs were the exact length to just not fit into the pony tale. A matter of millimetres.

20 years have passed since I first met Rebecca. I was eight years old back then and I didn't know a lot about real friendship, I knew that a friend is someone you play with. When Rebecca joined my class in springtime back then, in third grade, I was instantly interested. She was quiet, nice, she had this sweet smile. But no matter what, her eyes never changed. I didn't know why these eyes where so interesting for me. But I found myself staring into them more than once or twice. There was a seat free right next to me, so she got to sit there for the rest of the year. And for many years after that.

Now, 20 years later, I would like to tell you about Rebecca.

Captain Underpants
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16-05-2012, 03:56 PM
RE: Talking eyes (Leela's book)
Its wetted my appetite....... write it Smile

I feel so much, and yet I feel nothing.
I am a rock, I am the sky, the birds and the trees and everything beyond.
I am the wind, in the fields in which I roar. I am the water, in which I drown.
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16-05-2012, 09:25 PM
RE: Talking eyes (Leela's book)
I'm disappointed because I thought this thread was going to be filled with pictures of Leela's beautiful blue eyes. Shocking

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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17-05-2012, 04:32 AM
RE: Talking eyes (Leela's book)
My fellow book writer. Big Grin Just today I have decided to write a documentary book. Like a collection of all sorts of scientific facts that all point to one direction. Maybe it is some strange planet position, so all of us want to write something?


Maybe I will ask for your literal advice, I am not that good at formulating long texts, so if I like your type of writing, I hope you don't mind if I ask for some advices?

Also, I would like to read your story, so feel free to post it when you write it.

[Image: a6505fe8.jpg]
I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
-Hunter S. Thompson
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17-05-2012, 01:52 PM
RE: Talking eyes (Leela's book)
Heh I have been writing for some time. But apart from very few small articles and interviews, I have not really published anything.
But this book, I hope, will be really good. The whole plot is in my head, ready to be written down.

Filox, sure if you like, I can help you.

I will always post the next part, when I am done and ok with it.
Nothing is perfect yet, and when it is ready, I will have someone to proof read it for style etc. after all I am not writing in my native language.

Captain Underpants
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27-08-2012, 03:18 AM
RE: Talking eyes (Leela's book)
Ok, I kept writing on that book now. I want to finish a few things and then I will post you guys a part of the first chapter Smile
Maybe this evening. Just wanted to say that I did not forget this, and that I still want to share this with you.

Captain Underpants
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27-08-2012, 04:05 PM
RE: Talking eyes (Leela's book)
OK, so just before I give you this little piece of the first chapter, I want to make clear, once more:
Everyone in the story is invented.
Every place in the story is invented.
Story plays in these, our times (around 2012 ish, who cares).
Story plays in a ficticious Ireland but as I just said, all places are made up, the cities don't really exist.
The story is made up.

Now here, part one of first chapter:
let me know what you think, what you would improve or maybe change. Style, sayings, phrases, spelling ok? Don't forget english is not my native language.

“This is Rebecca, she just moved here with her family”, said Mrs Kelly, “Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself, Rebecca? How old are you and where did you live before your family moved to Mountain Ville?”
She seemed shy and looked down to her toes, “I'm 8 and we lived on the country side near Lundashire.”
“So why did you move? I hear Lundashire is a nice place to live, and it's even on the other side of the country.”
“My, my father. He, uhm he found a better job here.”
Rebecca looked like she was uncomfortable talking in front of the class, and I was not the only one who saw that. Mrs Kelly told her to sit next to me and then proceeded to check our homework.

It was Monday, when Rebecca first came to our school. After Math and English there was a short five-minutes-break, and we were waiting for Religion with Mr McConnel who was also our music teacher. He would always mix up both subjects to make it more fun and indeed it worked. To learn stories from the bible we would learn songs or small poems.
While we were waiting I turned to Rebecca “Hi, I'm Sam”
She looked up as if I had ripped her out of a dream and I felt instantly sorry for having done so but she answered very friendly
“Hi Sam. Is this name a short cut for something?”
“Yes, actually my parents wanted to call me Sam before I was born already. They didn't know whether I am going to be a girl or a boy, so they wanted a Samantha or Samuel. I am a Samuel now”, I grinned at her and she smiled back.
When I was eight years old, I couldn't pin point it like I do it now, but I liked her, a lot, from the very beginning.

Two days later I told her about my dog Sock, a Bulldog, and how funny he is. Sock got his name from his puppy days. He had stolen one of my socks on his first day at our house and he carried that sock everywhere. Rebecca told me that she liked dogs and that she had one, as well. A German Shepard called Hulk. I asked her where that name came from because I only knew Hulk the TV series. She said that it was because of the series; The dog would always bark every time the green Hulk appeared on screen.
“Hey wanna come see Sock after school?”, I asked her excitedly.
“I don't think I can. We still have some stuff to unpack and I have to help.”
“Oh, well, maybe some other time then.”
“Yes, maybe.”

That “other time” would have to wait for a few years.

Captain Underpants
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