Tangled in the Apron Strings
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24-11-2012, 05:03 PM
Tangled in the Apron Strings
Last night on FaceBook, I "liked" an image of a nude female with a huge rainbow tattoo of wings covering her entire back. Though it did show the top 1/3 of her exposed butt-ox, it wasn't porn by any stretch of the imagination. I then get an instant message from Mom, something to the effect of, "Thanks for posting the tattoo pic so [he] can look at a chick's ass!" She was referring to her husband. Now Mom's not ugly by any means, and even looks younger than she is.

But Mom's reaction really irritated me, partly because it brought me back to my childhood days of her insecurity and blaming me for things that I wasn't responsible for. It also brought out my codependency issues with Mom.

I was angry that she blamed me for her husband's behavior. I was sad that she was hurt, but because I was also angry, I didn't have the presence of mind to address that.

I adore my mom, but I went to bed with hurt feelings that I left unaddressed, and without even being able to console Mom. It was a lose-lose.

I don't know if I'm here for commiseration or comfort or ideas, but I felt so alone last night with no one to talk to and I had to get this out....



Thanks, y'all....

Drinking Beverage Grab a cuppa' joe; sit-n-read my blog for a spell: www.vaweber.wordpress.com
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24-11-2012, 05:55 PM
RE: Tangled in the Apron Strings
And that's why I don't have any immediate family on my friends list.
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24-11-2012, 08:42 PM
RE: Tangled in the Apron Strings
Yeah. I liked FB better when it was only for college students, and only about 10 classmates ever saw anything I posted. Shit gets complicated because you often talk about different things with your close friends, even on FB, than you would with your parents or grandparents (my grandmother is there!). Even when it comes to replying to a friend's post with a "fuck yeah!" which I wouldn't say around my grandmother, for example.

And then people get bent out of shape if I "like" certain things, and sometimes go out of their way to bitch about stuff like I only posted it to offend them, kind of like what your mom did.

I have my mom's password, and I signed in and clicked "hide all posts by AmyB" so she never even sees my shit anymore. The rest of my relatives (the few left on there I haven't unfriended) are on my "restricted" list.

To summarize: the amount of really stupid conflict you encounter on FB seems to be directly proportional to the number of friends/different groups of people you have on your flist there. It used to be fairly safe to talk about kinky sex and snorting cocaine on there, but now your mom and your boss read it and it can cause problems.
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25-11-2012, 12:56 AM
RE: Tangled in the Apron Strings
Back when I was on FB, a few issues started to sprout up with my own mother because she was on there too. A bunch of her friends would post religious things on her wall, or she'd comment on one of theirs' and I'd see the notification. I was in my conversion stage and was really starting to be outspoken about the bullshit I saw around me, so I couldn't help but comment on the things that really pissed me off. lol

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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25-11-2012, 12:00 PM
RE: Tangled in the Apron Strings
I don't much use it anymore for these reasons. I don't know how to change who sees what without it being too big of a hassle and I'm lazy so fuck it.

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25-11-2012, 12:46 PM
RE: Tangled in the Apron Strings
(25-11-2012 12:56 AM)Misanthropik Wrote:  Back when I was on FB, a few issues started to sprout up with my own mother because she was on there too. A bunch of her friends would post religious things on her wall, or she'd comment on one of theirs' and I'd see the notification. I was in my conversion stage and was really starting to be outspoken about the bullshit I saw around me, so I couldn't help but comment on the things that really pissed me off. lol
It was my mom's relatives in my case. They'd post religious shit and I'd ignore it, no problem. Then I'd "like" something making fun of religion, and all hell would break loose.

I completely understand why people leave FB or never go there in the first place. It is much easier when you know less about the people you know, in many cases.
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25-11-2012, 05:18 PM
RE: Tangled in the Apron Strings
I appreciate your feedback, but I don't see this as a FaceBook thing.

I posted this in "Health & Psychology" because it has to do with my relationship & codependency on mom, my fear of confronting her when she clearly was being unfair, and the uncomfortable feelings returning that made me feel small & hurt when I was a kid.

I've never been the type of person to hide who I am, and FaceBook was just the medium *this time.* If I lived at home, it could have been a magazine with the same image on it that maybe I left in the hallway while I stopped to use the restroom. Anyone else on my step-dad's FB could be posting truly pornographic material but she'd never reproach at them the way she did me.

I'm not responsible for his behavior, his thoughts. I don't go out of my way to be disrespectful. That interaction made me feel crummy.

Drinking Beverage Grab a cuppa' joe; sit-n-read my blog for a spell: www.vaweber.wordpress.com
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26-11-2012, 05:59 AM
RE: Tangled in the Apron Strings
(25-11-2012 12:46 PM)amyb Wrote:  
(25-11-2012 12:56 AM)Misanthropik Wrote:  Back when I was on FB, a few issues started to sprout up with my own mother because she was on there too. A bunch of her friends would post religious things on her wall, or she'd comment on one of theirs' and I'd see the notification. I was in my conversion stage and was really starting to be outspoken about the bullshit I saw around me, so I couldn't help but comment on the things that really pissed me off. lol
It was my mom's relatives in my case. They'd post religious shit and I'd ignore it, no problem. Then I'd "like" something making fun of religion, and all hell would break loose.

I completely understand why people leave FB or never go there in the first place. It is much easier when you know less about the people you know, in many cases.
Very true. Facebook tends - at least for me - to be a place where I lose respect for dear friends a little bit at a time. lol
(Btw, LOVE the black-metal profile pic)

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Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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