Teach men not to rape!
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10-06-2014, 12:43 PM
RE: Teach men not to rape!
Why don't we just learn how to fight instead.

[Image: Guilmon-41189.gif] ♪僕は恐怖の一定した状態に住んで、不幸、逃すもう?僕は、それはもう痛いときも気づかないと
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10-06-2014, 01:00 PM
RE: Teach men not to rape!
(10-06-2014 06:09 AM)Banjo Wrote:  But Tae Kwon Do is not enough. Your daughter MUST learn to wrestle. Most fights are unfair and end on the ground. I highly recommend Jiu Jutsu.
Yes, I know enough to recognise that Tae Kwon Do is more sport than self defence, but I think it is a good start for a 5 year old. I feel BJJ is certainly the way to go, but I think it is too technical for a 5 year old, when she is a bit older then I will try to convince her to do it.

A workmate told me that in BJJ with her on her back and him between her legs, that she is in the strong position, him in the weak. And I have seen enough clips of girls beating boys at BJJ to be happy that this is the way to go.
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10-06-2014, 01:03 PM (This post was last modified: 10-06-2014 01:34 PM by Michael_Tadlock.)
RE: Teach men not to rape!
(10-06-2014 11:16 AM)Near Wrote:  Of course most of us have probably heard "So how's the whole 'teaching people not to murder' going?"

Teaching men not to rape? Let's play that then. If anyone thinks that that is actually a good idea, how sexist is that? We can't be bothered to learn what types of people might become rapists, let's just teach ALL men not to rape.

Jesus Christ, it reminds me of when I hear the whole "all guys are cheaters, it's just a matter of time." I fucking hate that shit. Generalizations like that are shitty to be on th receiving end of, especially when you already have low self esteem.

It's not blaming the victim, let's maybe look and see if we can find a better method of preventing rape than "teach men not to rape."

Lets play a numbers game then.

Statistically speaking, somewhere between 1 in 4 and 1 in 6 woman will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/15/health....html?_r=0

Quote:A 1997 report by the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics, which defines rape as forced penetration by the offender,[205] found that 91% of rape victims are female and 9% are male, and that nearly 99% of rapists are male.

Quote:According to the US Bureau of Justice Statistics, woman are rapted by their current or former intimate partner 26%, another relative 7%, friend or acquaintance 38%, and stranger 26%.

It is estimated that more than half of all rapes are never reported to the police, and the US Bureau basis its statistics on reported rapes. Many more women who are raped by someone they know don't report it because of shame and social stigma. The numbers are probably much more skewed towards friends and acquaintances and former or current intimate partners than even this data shows. The lesson to be learned here; most women are raped by someone they know and often a person they trust.

What percentage of men commit rape? Its hard to say. I have read numbers as high as 1 in 8. The famous 1987 study that found 1/4 college woman will be raped in their lifetime also found that 4.5% of college men self reported that they had forced a woman to have sex with them at least once. One thing is very clear, if 1/5 woman are being raped in their lifetime, it is not possible for only a small percentage of men to be responsible for all these rapes.

Self defense here is NOT a solution to this problem. These women know their attackers, the issue isn't that they are unable to roundhouse kick them to the balls, the issue is that they trust their attacker. They are socially, emotionally, and psychologically dominated while the attack is taking place. Very often it has nothing to do with strength. Woman should be educated when it comes to rape, but not in self defense but in ways to spot rape before it happens and techniques for how protect themselves and how to get out of it.

I understand as a man reading this you feel like you are being blamed for the problem. If you personally never raped anyone, then guess what you're not a rapist. Nobody is calling you a rapist. The data shows though, MEN ARE THE PROBLEM. To pretend otherwise is to wantonly ignore the facts. If you are curious who rapists are then think about the all the men you know right now. Chances are at least a few of them are rapists. Statistically speaking, there might be a dozen rapist on this forum. Rapist are men you know, rape victims are women we know, lets stop pretending the problem is shady folks in back alleys and battered woman on the lifetime channel. Its real people, everywhere, all the time.
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10-06-2014, 01:09 PM
Teach men not to rape!
(09-06-2014 05:56 PM)diddo97 Wrote:  There are way too many factors involved here to put the blame on any one group.

Except, of course, Rapists.

“It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.”
― Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes
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10-06-2014, 01:35 PM
RE: Teach men not to rape!
And how often does a man being on the receiving end of rape go unreported? Anybody can be raped or be a rapist.

It must be the one original sin the "teach men not to rape" people believe in "If you're a man you are automatically a rapist, that's why we have to teach all men not to rape.

It's like Suey Park and her "Only white men can be racist", except it's "only men can be rapists."

@Michael_Tadlock: you say "if you've never raped you're not a rapist and we aren't talking about you" (paraphrase) but if we support "teach all men not to rape" we are as good as saying that they are all rapists.

Would we take an entire school to a prison, and say "See kids, this is what happens if you break the law!" Or would we take just the troubled kids?

Rape is a two sided issue, let's find out how to better empower and embolden women to come forward if they have been assaulted, let's try to focus on the people who have done the assaulting, and not paint all men with the rapists brush.

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10-06-2014, 01:43 PM
RE: Teach men not to rape!
(10-06-2014 01:09 PM)rampant.a.i. Wrote:  
(09-06-2014 05:56 PM)diddo97 Wrote:  There are way too many factors involved here to put the blame on any one group.

Except, of course, Rapists.
... I don't know if that really....

whatever...

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10-06-2014, 01:55 PM
RE: Teach men not to rape!
"Teach men not to rape!" LOL!! Big Grin
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10-06-2014, 02:11 PM (This post was last modified: 10-06-2014 03:05 PM by Michael_Tadlock.)
RE: Teach men not to rape!
(10-06-2014 01:35 PM)Near Wrote:  And how often does a man being on the receiving end of rape go unreported? Anybody can be raped or be a rapist.

It must be the one original sin the "teach men not to rape" people believe in "If you're a man you are automatically a rapist, that's why we have to teach all men not to rape.

It's like Suey Park and her "Only white men can be racist", except it's "only men can be rapists."

@Michael_Tadlock: you say "if you've never raped you're not a rapist and we aren't talking about you" (paraphrase) but if we support "teach all men not to rape" we are as good as saying that they are all rapists.

Would we take an entire school to a prison, and say "See kids, this is what happens if you break the law!" Or would we take just the troubled kids?

Rape is a two sided issue, let's find out how to better empower and embolden women to come forward if they have been assaulted, let's try to focus on the people who have done the assaulting, and not paint all men with the rapists brush.

If you focus on men who have done the assaulting then its too late, there is already a victim.

99% of all rapists are men. That's just math. You don't get much closer to 100% than 99%. That means men are the raping demographic here. So ideally if you want to prevent rape, you want to affect the behavior of men.

I agree with you that woman can be better educated and empowered when it comes to rape. I think what could help many woman is a better toolset for how to communicate consent, and techniques for how to get out of a dangerous situation. It is important to remember not to blame the victim, however. We need to put responsibility for rape on the rapist while giving woman tools for protecting themselves. If a woman uses none of these tools it is still the rapists fault for rape.

The point I want to make though is that "self defense" has often been used as a band-aid proscription. It is easier to think about woman doing Karate then it is to really consider the factors that actually lead to rape for most people. Self defense can be a valuable tool, and it has saved many woman from rape before. The problem is that self defense, as a tool, is not adequate or even helpful for so many woman. We need to recognize that the problem with rape is not always that woman are physically dominated but that they are mentally dominated first. Empowering women with education and with verbal and nonviolent means of self defense, I believe, could help a lot more people.
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10-06-2014, 03:28 PM
RE: Teach men not to rape!
(09-06-2014 05:56 PM)diddo97 Wrote:  There are way too many factors involved here to put the blame on any one group.

No, there's only one group to blame. The rapists.
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10-06-2014, 03:40 PM
RE: Teach men not to rape!
(10-06-2014 03:28 PM)Elder Cunningham Wrote:  
(09-06-2014 05:56 PM)diddo97 Wrote:  There are way too many factors involved here to put the blame on any one group.

No, there's only one group to blame. The rapists.

I am taking your side on this Elder.

[Image: Guilmon-41189.gif] ♪僕は恐怖の一定した状態に住んで、不幸、逃すもう?僕は、それはもう痛いときも気づかないと
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