Tell me if my idea is a good idea
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20-10-2014, 05:10 PM
Tell me if my idea is a good idea
Hey! Haven't been on for a while because as of late, I've only had internet while at work and I hadn't had time to come on. Oh wait, I got a smartphone with unlimited data...and this forum works on mobile right? Why didn't I think of that sooner. Anywho, I got me a thing going on and I thought this would be a good place to ask if what I'm thinking is a good think or not.

About a month ago I moved out of my friend's apartment because she gave me a date to move out by. Though I don't like my new city, I felt like I still had much to learn and improve on from my new job and wanted to stay for that. Plus it'd grow on me, right? I found an apartment that was kept up, drove by it at night to see that there wasn't people walking around and crazy shit, and it was a quiet spot so I got it.

As far as the location, it is nice. Its quiet and close to the highway for the job I moved up here for and only ten minutes from my second job. The residents, eh. My next door neighbor is an older guy (old enough to be my dad) and he acts nice to me but keeps asking me out to dinner, moreso after I was talking about me wanting to venture the town in general while we were around the other neighbors. At first I laughed at it, thinking hew as joking, but he has a serious look on his face when he asks me. I mention that I'd like to get to know my neighbors and that I'd like another person to come along if we go somewhere but he keeps making it like a me and him thing. To me, it feels like a date. He even asked me one time if I had a boyfriend and wrote down his number and put it on my door so I could tell him when I had free time (bet your sweet ass I won't).

Then this Monday I met a guy that lives a floor below me, across from my mailbox. He's disabled (missing half his leg) and he was telling me how sometimes he needed help on the weekends when his assistant lady wasn't there. She was there when he asked if I could help him if he needed help so I honestly didn't think much of it since she didn't think much of it either so I gave him my number. Then over the week he started texting me, telling me first what i figured which that my neighbor did see taking me out to hang as a date (which i figured cool he's sort of got my back), then telling me he likes white women (he's black, I'm not racist but saying just so that makes sense), that he wants to be my friend first then date cuz he wanted me and mentioned that he wanted a bigger place and that I could move with him. I told him, "look, I barely know you. I don't mind being your friend but I don't want a relationship with anyone and I like living alone". He said he was alright with that and understood but this Saturday he texted me, "hey baby when you off work?" Needless to say I didn't reply and I didn't pick up my phone when he called. Thankfully he hasn't call or text me today. Shortly after that guy, I had a guy at my second job keep asking me for my number so we can hang and get to know each other. I found out that he asked the other girl nearby me too. He seemed mad when I was all, "I don't really know you" and was all "that's why you give me your number and we hang out" like he couldn't just talk to me like he talked to the other people instead of working.

I know these are only three people but they've really sort of taken whatever comfort I had while living in a city I don't like. Sort of gives me that sense that no matter where I go, my kindness is taken advantage of and that I'm not worth a decent person. So yeah, I am getting more depressed in general since I also don't feel like I fit in at work or in this city (they're nice at work but got cliches). Don't know that the landlord can or will do much since he was around one time when my neighbor was teasing me about cooking for him and just said, "oh don't listen to that guy." Somehow I get the feeling that I'd tell him all this and he'd go, "oh just ignore them." Don't know why but I somehow get the same feeling if I told an assistant manager about the guy at work.

Now here's where it gets sort of hopeful to me. Yesterday, I went to visit my family because I thought it was my mom's birthday. It apparently wasn't but I still chilled with them. They asked me how I liked my new city and I admitted that I kind of hated living up there. That's when my mother told me that the house my grandparents used to live in is still in my aunt's name. I thought she put it up for sale but she's waiting. Grandma's in a nursing home so I guess for taxes or because my mom and her are still trying to get rid of all their stuff. My mom told me that my aunt was wanting someone to just live in it and pay utilities so it's kept up while she pays for rent so she doesn't have to worry about it. Their house is a one-bedroom house so a teeny-tiny thing that would make the utilities the same price or cheaper than the apartment I live in.

My life tends to have what I consider "dumb-luck moments" and I'm thinking this house might be one of them. While I was driving both to my hometown and to my apartment, I just had this gut feeling that I need to get out of there. Sometimes, though, gut feelings are just emotions blocking whatever logical thought is going on. It's not always good to just run on emotions.

This is what I've been thinking though. This week, I'll use to try to calm myself so I can ponder what my mother told me, ask my buddy what she thinks of all this and think of anyway I can get these guys to y'know leave me be. If leaving still seems like a good idea by Sunday when I visit my parents again, I'll ask my aunt more details about the house. Depending on what she says and if it's still sounds like it's a good deal, I'd put my two weeks in, break my contract for my apartment and head back. The only thing I have with this is that it sort of makes me feel like a pansy just leaving after three or four months. Well, that and the fact that it's sort of a gamble if I can get another new job or get my old gas station job back. They're always hiring and I left on good terms so maybe.

But yeah, if you're still following all this, what do you think? Sorry if it got ramble-y. So far I've talked to a few online friends that said considering how uncomfortable and unhappy I am, I might as well go for it.

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20-10-2014, 06:10 PM
RE: Tell me if my idea is a good idea
Wow lots of stuff going on, Suzanne.

First: the job. How long have you been there? Other than the "fitting in" do you enjoy the work? Lots of places can be really cliquey, you may eventually find a fit there. Just wondering if that is the only aspect you aren't enjoying at this point.

Second: the men. On the older one, have you been firm with him in regards to his offers? You mentioned you laughed off the first request, what about the rest? Have you let him know you aren't interested, or just hoping he gets the hint? If you have been firm, and he's still pestering you... That makes me really uncomfortable. Confused on the disabled gentlemen. His text to you after you let him know you weren't interested was inappropriate. I this case I say your silence was the correct response. You were clear, he crossed a "gray" boundary. If he continues, let him know you can't talk to him anymore.

Third: the house. Do you and your aunt get along well? Is she generally a reasonable person? Things to consider when getting into a legal situation with a family member that involves money. Always tricky.

If you ....
  • decide that you just don't enjoy your new job enough, or that no matter how much you like it you'll hate it because of the cliques.
  • still feel uncomfortable where you live because of unwanted advances from men in the same building.
  • think you and your aunt can amicably have a renter/tennant relationship
.... Then I say go for e move back. No need to feel like a pansy. You did a gusty thing. Maybe it didn't work out, but at least you tried. Hug

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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20-10-2014, 07:16 PM
RE: Tell me if my idea is a good idea
I'd take the house. Firstly because I like houses better than apts. Secondly, probably your aunt is ok to deal with, at least your mom thinks so.

Looks like you moved into the lonely heart club apartments. Unless you are looking, get out, I doubt it will stop.

I guess I am prejudiced - since my husband died men have been getting on my nerves. Everyone and his brother think that because I live alone I need a man, any man.

Well, I don't need no stinkin man. Tongue

Anyway, that apartment doesn't sound like a good place to me. Too many hungry men.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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20-10-2014, 07:45 PM
RE: Tell me if my idea is a good idea
(20-10-2014 07:16 PM)Dom Wrote:  I'd take the house. Firstly because I like houses better than apts. Secondly, probably your aunt is ok to deal with, at least your mom thinks so.

Looks like you moved into the lonely heart club apartments. Unless you are looking, get out, I doubt it will stop.

I guess I am prejudiced - since my husband died men have been getting on my nerves. Everyone and his brother think that because I live alone I need a man, any man.

Well, I don't need no stinkin man. Tongue

Anyway, that apartment doesn't sound like a good place to me. Too many hungry men.

Yeah, the whole thing makes me really nervous, and I wasn't sure if I was just biased because I've never lived alone in my own place other than a college dorm for a short time.

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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21-10-2014, 03:13 PM
RE: Tell me if my idea is a good idea
Big Grin Men! Almost makes me want to become a full-on a lesbian! Boobs are nice anyways. I don't need no stinking man! Tongue

Anyways...

Well, for my job, I'm also kind of in a spot where I don't know whether I'm taking a long time to get the hang of it or if it's not my sort of thing after all. It''s a tv station and I go out live with reporters to film them. A fair amount of time, I'm able to make them look good and whatnot. Setting up the equipment though I'm still having issues and sometimes my shots do look bad. For instance, last week I didn't realize there wasn't enough sunlight on my reporter and didn't put out lights on her so she looked pale on air. Didn't enter my mind until after I saw it later. So like I said, I don't know if I'm just learning or if it's not my thing after all. Plus I'm only 16 hours there and it's an hour drive there and back so in a way it's like I'm getting paid my gas. Yet I like that it's something new every day and I get to see/hear what's going on in the community first hand. Just stressful when I still mess up sometimes and that it doesn't really put money in my pocket. My second job is easy peasy and pays $9.50 an hour for close to 30 hours a week so that ones in a way is more appealing for me to keep.

As for the men, luckily the disabled guy hasn't tried to contact me since I didn't reply last time. The other guy I've missed out on seeing for the past two days since I just rushed out. If/when I do see him again, I'll be sure to be honest with him and see how that works.

My aunt is pretty laid back and chill. We get along well so I'm thinking/hoping doing legal things wouldn't be too bad. Plus she's the one that's been handling the legal ins and outs with my grandparents while/when they were in the nursing home and with their doctors so she most likely knows what she's doing.

I talked to my friend and she more or less said to try keeping to myself and see if maybe my not liking the town is part homesickness. She didn't seem to mind my plan of going back if those guys still get to me after I'm firm with them. So I'm thinking at least try to ride it out for another two weeks (for money in my pocket just in case I need it between getting my old job or new job) and if I still don't feel safe I'll head back. Thanks for the hugs Hug its good to know I shouldn't feel pansyish.

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