Telling My Kids I Don't Believe
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08-04-2017, 08:41 AM
RE: Telling My Kids I Don't Believe
My dad explaining to me at a young age why he didn't believe in religion was the best thing he ever did for me. Anyone's bullshit detector goes off when they hear about God and heaven and hell. Letting a kid know can eliminate decades of confliction and confusion.

It's the weight of the world off of your shoulders to know it's ok to think obvious bullshit is bullshit.

Quote: I told her "Since there is no such place as hell I'm not really concerned but you should be a little more concerned about the way your mother is bringing you up". Shit thing to say I know but since I can't stand either one of them I didn't really care. I agree it was the wrong way to go about it but damn it made me feel good.

Not at all a shit thing to say. You probably planted a seed of liberation in her mind that will give her comfort her entire life. Instead of thinking she's going to hell, because of you she'll be thinking fuck this shit. Seriously, you saved her. I guarantee that sentence carries more weight with her than anything she's ever heard. You know why? Because the truth is powerful. Get it in there when the brain is still developing and watch it grow!
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08-04-2017, 10:04 AM
Telling My Kids I Don't Believe
Take it slow and easy. Try not to draw a line in the sand. It will take a while for everyone to accept your lack of belief.
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08-04-2017, 10:28 AM
RE: Telling My Kids I Don't Believe
I didn't call myself an atheist when I had my first child. But, I did know the Catholic church wasn't the thing for me or my child. I was in a cycle of reading and researching at that time thinking that you had to believe in some higher power.

In a couple years I was comfortable with non belief. My kids didn't go to church with me but as they got older they often did with friends who had parents who didn't allow for missing church. I think that's part of the reason my son preferred to have friends over than to stay elsewhere.

I let them come to me with questions...may were answered with - Some people believe...

I emphasized school and encouraged learning and allowed them to make up their own minds.

Surely it's more difficult with a super religious other parent and family members.

I wish you well.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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12-04-2017, 04:16 PM
RE: Telling My Kids I Don't Believe
I think the approach you've described is a really good one, and of course, you're the best-equipped to feel out your own kids' needs. I could talk about my own approach to religion with my kids--short version: basically what you said--but I think my situation's unusual, so instead, I'll just give you my perspective from my childhood.
My parents were both raised in the church, but my mom was much closer to her religious roots than my dad by the time I was born, and she was raised in a fundy Southern Baptist family as opposed to my dad's sort of standard-issue Lutheran family. Anyway, I guess they used to go to church, or something, but they were "disinvited" when I was very young, and from then on, my grandparents came to pick me up every Sunday morning (and Wednesday evening for choir practice, and Sunday evening for the second service, and sometimes on Tuesdays for bible study, and...) My parents hadn't planned it, but I ended up going to a fundamentalist church my whole life and then, immediately after every service, my parents (who loved to talk and discuss things and were very much on the fence, theism-wise) and I would talk about the things that were said, why people believe them, and what some of the historical and social context was. I sort of grew up with two opposing perspectives that, I think, helped me contextualize religion, its origins, and its purpose.
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