Telling Your Parents You're An Atheist
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
07-10-2012, 02:39 PM
Telling Your Parents You're An Atheist
Hello atheist friends,

I am a teenager (17) and I realized that I was an atheist about one or two years ago. My thing is, is that my family does not go to church that often any more in fact we never really had a time where we were going to church consistently. Other than when I was going to catechism class for 2 years. I'm not sure if my parents don't believe as much or they just don't feel like getting up in the morning, ha. But I feel the need to tell them so that I can be open about it. I'm tired of keeping it behind closed doors etc.

In April I had gotten into an argument with a religious 'friend' on Facebook and I guess my dad somehow found it even though my dad was not friends with this person. Any way he saw the argument. Later he tells me he wants to talk to me about "Insert 'friend' I was arguing with". So eventually we do talk. It wasn't that bad of a conversation. But at the end he says: "just make sure you come back to god" or something along those lines.

If I told my mom I was an atheist she would flip out. This is something that I have to do however. The thing is, is that I think that my parents would a) not believe me b) think I was being rebellious in a way. I need help trying to find a way to tell my parents I'm an atheist, make sure they believe me and also making sure they don't think I'm just being a rebellious teenager.

Many thanks,
Mike B
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-10-2012, 04:08 PM
RE: Telling Your Parents You're An Atheist
You do not need to know how to tell anyone anything, what you need is a way to defend yourself against a host or hosts of denials, and if your parents can be oblivious enough to disregard your own authority, your own regard against a parent that only has a child to relive their memories instead of creating your own is a foster client. It reminds me of one of my state's former governors, Matt Blunt, who had his first child maybe 2 weeks after taking office, and a month later made a television ad claiming he knows "the difficulties of being parent." when he has not garnered even half a year of parental authority.

Leviticus does not justify stupidity, but it is more than enough to define corruption of the human mind.

[Image: 24851795.jpg]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-10-2012, 04:16 PM
Telling Your Parents You're An Atheist
Welcome to TTA, Mike.

You might ask yourself why are you feeling the need to do this now? What will it improve in your life? What will become more difficult?

At 17 you must not be too far away from moving out on your own. Why not wait until you're out of the house before you have the Atheist talk with mom and dad? I would imagine it could be a pretty tense living situation if they're upset about your beliefs. Just a thought. Do what will give you the outcome you desire. Thumbsup

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-10-2012, 04:36 PM
RE: Telling Your Parents You're An Atheist
I'm 31. I told my parents I was an atheist repeatedly, my entire life. My dad accepted it right off. He allowed me to stop going to church when I was only 10 or so. When I was 16, the local news station interviewed me and I spoke briefly against organized religion. The whole friggin CITY then thought I was rebelling against God/authority. ^_^

My mom goes through phases, one day she'll accept it and even talk rationally about it. Other days, she'll get upset if I do/say something even remotely blasphemous.

As for rebellion, I got that a lot, and I'm not sure you can avoid it as a teenager. Some people will just jump to that conclusion, that you're rebelling against your parents or that you're "mad at god." All you can do is explain yourself calmly and rationally, over and over again, and hope they understand someday.

Then again, you don't have to tell everyone. I don't talk about it around my grandparents, they're in their 80s and I doubt any good would come of it. You have to think about the pros and cons of all possible actions, I'd say. When to talk, when to keep it to yourself. No need to shout it from the rooftops, but you shouldn't feel like you have to live a lie, either.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-10-2012, 04:38 PM
RE: Telling Your Parents You're An Atheist
I would also recommend waiting until you are living on your own / going to college when you tell them. They may demand you attend church with them because you are 'still living under their roof', and if you refuse or they are unwilling to compromise, it may lead to problems.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-10-2012, 05:03 PM
RE: Telling Your Parents You're An Atheist
That's a good point too. My mom thought I was "mad at god" for a while and threw away all my heavy metal albums when I was a teenager. Seriously. But if it's their house, it's their rules.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-10-2012, 06:08 PM
RE: Telling Your Parents You're An Atheist
"Our house, our rules" applies to dates, curfews, television schedules, recreational hobbies, not personalities, especially when when it's one very tiny sparkle of a personality trait that holds no merit to devalue someone else's trait. "Our house, our rules" is no excuse to pretend to be something you're not, if they were molested as a child "our house our rules" would hold no authority over when to report said circumstance.

Leviticus does not justify stupidity, but it is more than enough to define corruption of the human mind.

[Image: 24851795.jpg]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-10-2012, 06:17 PM (This post was last modified: 07-10-2012 07:04 PM by Atothetheist.)
RE: Telling Your Parents You're An Atheist
(07-10-2012 02:39 PM)mikeacbarnes Wrote:  Hello atheist friends,

I am a teenager (17) and I realized that I was an atheist about one or two years ago. My thing is, is that my family does not go to church that often any more in fact we never really had a time where we were going to church consistently. Other than when I was going to catechism class for 2 years. I'm not sure if my parents don't believe as much or they just don't feel like getting up in the morning, ha. But I feel the need to tell them so that I can be open about it. I'm tired of keeping it behind closed doors etc.

In April I had gotten into an argument with a religious 'friend' on Facebook and I guess my dad somehow found it even though my dad was not friends with this person. Any way he saw the argument. Later he tells me he wants to talk to me about "Insert 'friend' I was arguing with". So eventually we do talk. It wasn't that bad of a conversation. But at the end he says: "just make sure you come back to god" or something along those lines.

If I told my mom I was an atheist she would flip out. This is something that I have to do however. The thing is, is that I think that my parents would a) not believe me b) think I was being rebellious in a way. I need help trying to find a way to tell my parents I'm an atheist, make sure they believe me and also making sure they don't think I'm just being a rebellious teenager.

Many thanks,
Mike B
Hey Mike,

Like you, I wanted to tell my mom and Dad I was an atheist( I am currently fifteen now, I came out to my teacher when I was thirteen, and to my parents when I was fourteen.). The reason why I wanted to was so I was at least honest with them, I thought my parents deserved the truth rather than a half-assed sham of a believer I would have been had I thought to fake it.

Anyways, When I did come out to them about my unbelief(disbelief) I instantly was hated for it... Well, my mom barely talks to me( she only yells at me for being an atheist now.). Listen, let me just say that it might not be easy, and depending on how your parents reactions are to this, you should try to be honest in your relationship with them. It is, to me, the only way you are showing them the respect they deserve( although that view might change after their reaction.) because at least you are telling them the truth of your views so they, and you can be closer together.

I would say tell them, but only if you are reasonably sure they won't do something overtly horrible to you that makes your life a, excuse the metaphor, living hell.

I told my parents, and because of my Decision, I messed it up with them... I acted foolishly and have now realized I should have predicted their reactions... Think how they might react, and choose the outcome based on how well you know them.

Plus, if you ever need a community, we are here for you... This forum community is the bomb, I wouldn't be anywhere else. They even allowed a teen section so people our age can have a community inside the community( so you can rant about school, girls, drama, etc in there).

This forum is really welcoming, and I hope you stick around. We need more teens like you.

Welcome to the forums, buddy.Smile

[Image: 0013382F-E507-48AE-906B-53008666631C-757...cc3639.jpg]
Credit goes to UndercoverAtheist.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-10-2012, 06:28 PM
RE: Telling Your Parents You're An Atheist
(07-10-2012 06:08 PM)Matthew Laramore Wrote:  "Our house, our rules" applies to dates, curfews, television schedules, recreational hobbies, not personalities, especially when when it's one very tiny sparkle of a personality trait that holds no merit to devalue someone else's trait. "Our house, our rules" is no excuse to pretend to be something you're not, if they were molested as a child "our house our rules" would hold no authority over when to report said circumstance.

I would say that's probably correct, but good luck explaining that to an emotional mother who's just found out her child has fallen to the devil, or whatever other sinister force makes people question their beliefs.

My own mom, 5 years after I told her I was no longer Christian, still believes I am literally incapable of love as 'all love comes from God'.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-10-2012, 06:37 PM
RE: Telling Your Parents You're An Atheist
(07-10-2012 06:28 PM)thirdangletheory Wrote:  
(07-10-2012 06:08 PM)Matthew Laramore Wrote:  "Our house, our rules" applies to dates, curfews, television schedules, recreational hobbies, not personalities, especially when when it's one very tiny sparkle of a personality trait that holds no merit to devalue someone else's trait. "Our house, our rules" is no excuse to pretend to be something you're not, if they were molested as a child "our house our rules" would hold no authority over when to report said circumstance.

I would say that's probably correct, but good luck explaining that to an emotional mother who's just found out her child has fallen to the devil, or whatever other sinister force makes people question their beliefs.

My own mom, 5 years after I told her I was no longer Christian, still believes I am literally incapable of love as 'all love comes from God'.
This. It all depends on the individuals in question, I'd say. Withholding a bit of information in order to keep the peace and not cause chaos is not the same as lying and saying you're something else, also.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: