Telling my parents I'm atheist
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22-12-2014, 01:27 AM
Telling my parents I'm atheist
I'm 14 and be been an atheist for about a year now and I really want to tell my parents I just don't know how they will react most of my friends know I just feel like I really need to get this off my chest whenever I talk about this with my mom she gets all mad and she kinda flipped out when I found a bible in my room and said I did not want it with my dad I have talked about this at all with him because we have kinda a shaky relationship already and I'm just tired of living a lie and it feels like this giant cloud of guilt hovering above me

P.S I'm in 8th grade if that helps at all
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22-12-2014, 02:16 AM (This post was last modified: 22-12-2014 02:20 AM by Nurse.)
RE: Telling my parents I'm atheist
I'm 29 and still haven't told my parents. But then they're crazy and would completely freak. World War III would start in North Alabama.

How difficult will they make your life? Do you have to go to church every time the doors are open? How strict are they? Do you have easy, open communication in other aspects of your relationship with your parents? If it's just putting a bible in your room, meh, no big deal. Realize you're 14, and your parents have a LOT of control over your life for at least the next 4 years.

Btw, lack of belief is nothing to feel guilty about. You are your own person, and you can be as private as you want to be, including not sharing your views on religion.

Edit to add: Realize I'm coming from a background where my brother got kicked out of the house at 18 just for not going to church after working late the night before. At 14, they won't kick you out of the house, but the next four years could be hell.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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22-12-2014, 02:43 AM
RE: Telling my parents I'm atheist
Why are you an atheist?

For the record, I think you should keep it to yourself. A lot of times 14-year-olds just want to rebel by being different than their parents. If they were atheists; you'd probably want to be a priest. Fact is they pay for everything for you. They take care of you. You don't have the right, and it would be wrong, for you to rub your newfound belief in their face. Just keep it to yourself, do what you're supposed to do, get good grades in school, and when you move out (college or whatever) then you can be your own person. Again, you should honor your father and mother. If you can't do that, then you have a lot more problems than being an atheist. Their job is to take good care of you; your job is to be a child they can be proud of--not a child that hurts them.

That's my opinion on the matter. Good luck.
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22-12-2014, 04:05 AM
RE: Telling my parents I'm atheist
Hey there firesnacker ,

Don't listen to Gordy. Part of being a parent is learning how to cope with being hurt by your children.

Smile

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22-12-2014, 05:13 AM
RE: Telling my parents I'm atheist
Tell them you're a Veridican and watch them really freak. They'll be quite relieved to later learn you're only atheist.

Seriously, if you believe they are not going to accept your lack of belief, it'd probably be best to keep it to yourself for a while. Parents have been known to completely cut off their kids over less than that. My daughter will turn 18 soon. She's gradually drifted away from Xianity but, AFAIK, has never come out and said exactly what she believes (or doesn't believe). And, obviously, I'd have no problem if she came out as atheist. So, keeping it quiet for just a few years until/unless you're convinced your parents won't explode or you are out of their house might be the safest course of action.

Good luck!
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22-12-2014, 05:33 AM (This post was last modified: 22-12-2014 05:40 AM by Mathilda.)
RE: Telling my parents I'm atheist
Only you can judge your parents firesnacks and how they will react. They might be OK with it, they may be zealots and chuck you out. We get a whole range of people on this forum. And it's not like this problem is specific to you or even atheism. You hear exactly the same thing from gay children, from naturists etc.

The answer is the same for all though. While you're dependent upon them they also have control over your life so you do just need to suck it up for another 4 years until you can leave home. The time will pass quickly enough. If you go off to university (college) after that then you may need to pretend for even longer but at least you can be yourself when away from home.

If you do get into an argument though, make sure to keep your cool. Don't get into a slanging match otherwise they will put it down to you being rebellious and dismiss your entire argument. If you ask enough difficult questions or have good explanations each time they push you then it may dissuade them from pursuing the subject.

"Coming out" always makes a big deal out of things whereas you can let them find out gradually. If it's a problem for you then it's more likely to be a problem for them. So rather than come out as such, you could just ask your parents increasingly difficult questions that they are unable to answer.

Second bit of advice, bear in mind when reading Gordon's post above that he is a Christian who thinks that he is the "first of the second coming of Christ".
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22-12-2014, 05:56 AM
RE: Telling my parents I'm atheist
(22-12-2014 02:43 AM)Gordon Wrote:  Why are you an atheist?

For the record, I think you should keep it to yourself. A lot of times 14-year-olds just want to rebel by being different than their parents. If they were atheists; you'd probably want to be a priest. Fact is they pay for everything for you. They take care of you. You don't have the right, and it would be wrong, for you to rub your newfound belief in their face. Just keep it to yourself, do what you're supposed to do, get good grades in school, and when you move out (college or whatever) then you can be your own person. Again, you should honor your father and mother. If you can't do that, then you have a lot more problems than being an atheist. Their job is to take good care of you; your job is to be a child they can be proud of--not a child that hurts them.

That's my opinion on the matter. Good luck.


You can't even give advice without being an asshole... Facepalm

Kid, just ignore Gordon. He's a loon who's thinks God talks to him personally, has claimed on more than one occasion to think he is a reincarnation or second coming of Christ, and is trying (and fortunately, failing miserably) to start his own new sect of Christianity; because that hasn't already been done 33,000+ times before. He is Joseph Smith or L.R. Hubbard level of delusion, but with the charisma of a bridge troll.



(22-12-2014 02:43 AM)Gordon Wrote:  A lot of times 14-year-olds just want to rebel by being different than their parents. If they were atheists; you'd probably want to be a priest.

Fuck you Gordon, a 14 year old can posses the capacity for critical thought and forming their own opinions. Given that this one already sees religion as bullshit, he's apparently better at it than you are.


(22-12-2014 02:43 AM)Gordon Wrote:  Fact is they pay for everything for you. They take care of you. You don't have the right, and it would be wrong, for you to rub your newfound belief in their face.

Parents aren't owners of their children, they are caretakers of them. They have no right to dictate their child's opinions, thoughts, or beliefs. Whether or not he shares this information is a difficult choice he will have to make, but he is by no means obliged to just keep his mouth shut and tow the party line. And if his parent's faith is so fragile that some skepticism from their child is enough to threaten it, well then it doesn't speak much for the strength of their conviction, now does it?


(22-12-2014 02:43 AM)Gordon Wrote:  If you can't do that, then you have a lot more problems than being an atheist.

Being an atheist is not a problem, or at least it wouldn't be if not for assholes like you. Go fuck yourself again Gordon.


(22-12-2014 02:43 AM)Gordon Wrote:  Their job is to take good care of you; your job is to be a child they can be proud of--not a child that hurts them.

You can't control other people's reactions, only your own. Parent's shouldn't emotionally blackmail their children, nor should you encourage children to buy into that bullshit.


TL;DR

Thefiresnacks
-Listen to the advice of anyone else besides Gordon. If you need any additional advice or have specific questions, we'll be happy to help. But ultimately only you can decide what to do for yourself, and remember that you cannot control how other people react.


Gordon
[Image: go_fuck_yourself_cactus_disney.gif]

Drinking Beverage

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22-12-2014, 06:04 AM
RE: Telling my parents I'm atheist
OMG That is the best gif I have ever seen. Ever. Heart

I can't even

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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22-12-2014, 06:55 AM
RE: Telling my parents I'm atheist
Thefiresnacks, if you do opt to tell them, be polite about it. If they start questioning you and you lash out saying you don't believe in fairy tales, or something, it won't go well. As stupid as their belief system is, it's super double important to them, and that kind of thing makes people behave in irrational and inappropriate ways. It sounds like you already have an idea the type of situation you might be getting yourself into, but I figured it was worth mentioning being polite, anyway.


(22-12-2014 05:56 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  Kid, just ignore Gordon. He's a loon who's thinks God talks to him personally, has claimed on more than one occasion to think he is a reincarnation or second coming of Christ, and is trying (and fortunately, failing miserably) to start his own new sect of Christianity;

Holy shit! Really? I know the guy has been here before and didn't play nice, but I didn't realize he believed crazy things by crazy-people standards.
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22-12-2014, 07:05 AM
RE: Telling my parents I'm atheist
He is Joseph Smith or L.R. Hubbard level of delusion, but with the charisma of a bridge troll.

I think he's far worse than L. Ron. LRH invented Scientology as a scam to make money. Gordon seems to truly believe his bullshit.
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