Tempted to relapse......
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03-11-2016, 09:20 AM
RE: Tempted to relapse......
(24-10-2016 01:48 PM)jason197754 Wrote:  I still consider myself to be a recovering catholic. But I find myself falling back into denial about my atheism and agnosticism.....and bargaining as well....trying to reconcile faith/religion with science/reason and logic.... Any suggestions or advice??? Thanks.....

Let yourself be fluid. To me, from this very brief snippet, it sounds like you believe in God but you also think on another level that it's stupid. At any given moment you're going to believe whatever you believe. It's not about what you want to believe or even what you conclude is the most reasonable. Maybe you identify with one belief system or another or even two that contradict one another. I'm often confronted with this strange misconception that I can believe whatever I want to believe. I don't get why you want to convince yourself there's no God. While I'm on it, I also don't understand why people factor in whether it's good for them to believe in something. Do other people have the power to simply believe what they want to believe? If believing in God would make me happy and I could believe in God I would. I can't believe in God because I don't believe in God and I don't believe in God because I can't believe in God. I also don't believe my toenails can fly. Or that my dog can play the ukulele. Or whatever. I do believe my dog eats dog food from a bowl. I also believe that if I cut my foot off it won't grow back. Alrighty then.
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03-11-2016, 11:08 AM
RE: Tempted to relapse......
Yeah...the problem is that I started to read and listen to sime Catholic apologetics about philosophy and the existence of God....and why there is something rather than nothing....but their arguments are weak.....so right now I feel like Im comming out of denial and am in the stages of acceptancecand bargining.....I feel like Im getting over the anger now.....
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03-11-2016, 11:34 AM
RE: Tempted to relapse......
(03-11-2016 11:08 AM)jason197754 Wrote:  Yeah...the problem is that I started to read and listen to sime Catholic apologetics about philosophy and the existence of God....and why there is something rather than nothing....but their arguments are weak.....so right now I feel like Im comming out of denial and am in the stages of acceptancecand bargining.....I feel like Im getting over the anger now.....

Which is why I always advocate gentle and gradual extraction from religion, unless there is verbal aggression or an overwhelming reason for a violent abrupt disconnection. If you use your logic and instinct nine times out of ten that is sufficient to break free and like any addict recovery comes in stages, I found continuing to enjoy church as an aesthetic ritual with incense music etc was enjoyable but in the end i out grew out of it mainly thanks to this place BTW. As long as you concentrate on recovery from religion with atheism as equal and preferably superior then weaning yourself off gradually is a good strategy. The big problem is that Catholicism and mainstream religion is so different to the filthy fundies baptists and Calvinists, there is no beauty in their worship only hate and judgement which Imo makes it easier to quit cold turkey Imo.
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08-11-2016, 08:32 AM
RE: Tempted to relapse......
Now I realize that becomming catholic was a mistake....even though I did enjoy the smells and bells....
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08-11-2016, 08:35 AM
RE: Tempted to relapse......
(08-11-2016 08:32 AM)jason197754 Wrote:  Now I realize that becomming catholic was a mistake....even though I did enjoy the smells and bells....

Now you don't have to worry about the hells Tongue

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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08-11-2016, 08:41 AM
RE: Tempted to relapse......
Lol exactly.....and the thing was that I wanted to have holy communion every week...but now I realize that once a month was ok.....and that transubstantiation is ctazybandvb.s. as well as confession and Mary/saint worship and all of that....plus I never felt welcomed in most Catholic churches....they were unfriendly and cold.....especially the fucking priests.......
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08-11-2016, 09:23 AM
RE: Tempted to relapse......
(08-11-2016 08:41 AM)jason197754 Wrote:  Lol exactly.....and the thing was that I wanted to have holy communion every week...but now I realize that once a month was ok.....and that transubstantiation is ctazybandvb.s. as well as confession and Mary/saint worship and all of that....plus I never felt welcomed in most Catholic churches....they were unfriendly and cold.....especially the fucking priests.......

You might want to check out a Unitarian Universalist church because you seem like you yearn for a church community judging by some of your posts. They accept *all* people and are open to all religion/non-religious people. It may be a way for you to still have your church community without the guilt, hatred, woo, and judgment.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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08-11-2016, 07:59 PM
RE: Tempted to relapse......
(08-11-2016 08:41 AM)jason197754 Wrote:  .plus I never felt welcomed in most Catholic churches....they were unfriendly and cold..

Sadly agreed on this one. Sad One I did RCIA in was sorta friendly. One I was at in grad school took 3 years of prison volunteer work and book sales to warm up. One I'm at now, a volunteer literally locked me out in -30 windchill this last January at one point.

Need to think of a witty signature.
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