Terrible Flirt Thread
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
11-07-2017, 09:58 AM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
I asked her if she was game.

She said 'Yes'.

So I shot her.Smile

Marburg virus, Ebola, Rabies, HIV, Smallpox, Hantavirus, Dengue Fever all brought to you by god - who cares for us and loves us all Censored
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like god has no twitter account's post
11-07-2017, 10:08 AM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
(11-07-2017 09:58 AM)god has no twitter account Wrote:  I asked her if she was game.

She said 'Yes'.

So I shot her.Smile

A little dark, but funny still! Hobo
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Emma's post
11-07-2017, 10:16 AM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
(11-07-2017 10:08 AM)Emma Wrote:  
(11-07-2017 09:58 AM)god has no twitter account Wrote:  I asked her if she was game.

She said 'Yes'.

So I shot her.Smile

A little dark, but funny still! Hobo

How about this:

As Dr Hook, of the Medicine Show fame, once sang:

When you're in love with a beautiful woman

It's hard.Smile

Marburg virus, Ebola, Rabies, HIV, Smallpox, Hantavirus, Dengue Fever all brought to you by god - who cares for us and loves us all Censored
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like god has no twitter account's post
11-07-2017, 10:22 AM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
[Image: ohsnap.png]

[Image: How-Not-to-Let-the-Worst-Pick-Up-Lines-S...08@2x.jpeg]

A friend in the hole

"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
2
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like unsapien's post
11-07-2017, 10:37 AM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
In another awkward flirting adventure, I got pulled over by a cop and when he got back with my license he smiled and said "Your picture doesn't do you justice." I asked if that meant I got out of the ticket Wink He smiled and said he still had to do his job. That fucker still gave me a ticket. Angry Tongue
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like jennybee's post
11-07-2017, 10:44 AM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
Man: If I gave you $100,000, would you let me make love to you?

Woman: Yes.

Man: How about $10?

Woman: No, what do you take me for?

Man: We've already established that. Now we are just haggling over the priceWeeping

Marburg virus, Ebola, Rabies, HIV, Smallpox, Hantavirus, Dengue Fever all brought to you by god - who cares for us and loves us all Censored
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like god has no twitter account's post
11-07-2017, 11:05 AM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
Bill: Mary-Jane, Mary-Jane come under the apple tree with me.

Mary-Jane: No because the Lord isn't permitting me.

Bill went and got his friend Tom and told him to get up the apple tree without Mary-Jane seeing him and told him that every time that Mary-Jane says "No because the Lord isn't permitting me", you, in a distant, far away voice say, "but the Lord's permitting you Mary-Jane".

Tom climbed the apple tree without Mary-Jane seeing him.

Bill: Mary-Jane, Mary-Jane come under the apple tree with me.

Mary-Jane: No because the Lord isn't permitting me.

Tom: (in a far-off voice) but the Lord's permitting you Mary-Jane.

So Mary-Jane, thinking that the Lord had given his blessing, went under the apple tree with Bill.

Bill: Mary-Jane, Mary-Jane let me kiss you.

Mary-Jane: No because the Lord isn't permitting me.

Tom: (in a far-off voice) but the Lord's permitting you Mary-Jane.

So Mary-Jane, thinking that the Lord had given his blessing, let Bill kiss her.

Bill: Mary-Jane, Mary-Jane let me take all of your clothes off.

Mary-Jane: No because the Lord isn't permitting me.

Tom: (in a far-off voice) but the Lord's permitting you Mary-Jane.

So Mary-Jane, thinking that the Lord had given his blessing, let Bill take off all of her clothes.

Bill: Mary-Jane, Mary-Jane let me make love to you.

Mary-Jane: No because the Lord isn't permitting me.

Tom: (in a very loud voice) "Make way for the Lord".

Marburg virus, Ebola, Rabies, HIV, Smallpox, Hantavirus, Dengue Fever all brought to you by god - who cares for us and loves us all Censored
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like god has no twitter account's post
11-07-2017, 12:43 PM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
(11-07-2017 10:37 AM)jennybee Wrote:  In another awkward flirting adventure, I got pulled over by a cop and when he got back with my license he smiled and said "Your picture doesn't do you justice." I asked if that meant I got out of the ticket Wink He smiled and said he still had to do his job. That fucker still gave me a ticket. Angry Tongue

After he gave you a ticket, you should have asked him if he liked having land.

If he said yes, you should have kicked him in his nuts and told him "there's two acres for a start".

(An Acre is a UK unit of land and is 4,840 square yards).

Marburg virus, Ebola, Rabies, HIV, Smallpox, Hantavirus, Dengue Fever all brought to you by god - who cares for us and loves us all Censored
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes god has no twitter account's post
11-07-2017, 12:45 PM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
A girl once asked me if I wanted to play "doctor".

I said sure...

So... I made her wait in the living room for 3 hours. Dodgy

A friend in the hole

"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
2
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like unsapien's post
11-07-2017, 12:49 PM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
(11-07-2017 12:43 PM)god has no twitter account Wrote:  
(11-07-2017 10:37 AM)jennybee Wrote:  In another awkward flirting adventure, I got pulled over by a cop and when he got back with my license he smiled and said "Your picture doesn't do you justice." I asked if that meant I got out of the ticket Wink He smiled and said he still had to do his job. That fucker still gave me a ticket. Angry Tongue

After he gave you a ticket, you should have asked him if he liked having land.

If he said yes, you should have kicked him in his nuts and told him "there's two acres for a start".

(An Acre is a UK unit of land and is 4,840 square yards).

And then asked for his number after? Consider Tongue
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: