Terrible Flirt Thread
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11-07-2017, 09:58 AM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
I asked her if she was game.

She said 'Yes'.

So I shot her.Smile

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11-07-2017, 10:08 AM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
(11-07-2017 09:58 AM)god has no twitter account Wrote:  I asked her if she was game.

She said 'Yes'.

So I shot her.Smile

A little dark, but funny still! Hobo
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11-07-2017, 10:16 AM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
(11-07-2017 10:08 AM)Emma Wrote:  
(11-07-2017 09:58 AM)god has no twitter account Wrote:  I asked her if she was game.

She said 'Yes'.

So I shot her.Smile

A little dark, but funny still! Hobo

How about this:

As Dr Hook, of the Medicine Show fame, once sang:

When you're in love with a beautiful woman

It's hard.Smile

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11-07-2017, 10:22 AM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
[Image: ohsnap.png]

[Image: How-Not-to-Let-the-Worst-Pick-Up-Lines-S...08@2x.jpeg]

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11-07-2017, 10:37 AM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
In another awkward flirting adventure, I got pulled over by a cop and when he got back with my license he smiled and said "Your picture doesn't do you justice." I asked if that meant I got out of the ticket Wink He smiled and said he still had to do his job. That fucker still gave me a ticket. Angry Tongue

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11-07-2017, 10:44 AM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
Man: If I gave you $100,000, would you let me make love to you?

Woman: Yes.

Man: How about $10?

Woman: No, what do you take me for?

Man: We've already established that. Now we are just haggling over the priceWeeping

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11-07-2017, 11:05 AM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
Bill: Mary-Jane, Mary-Jane come under the apple tree with me.

Mary-Jane: No because the Lord isn't permitting me.

Bill went and got his friend Tom and told him to get up the apple tree without Mary-Jane seeing him and told him that every time that Mary-Jane says "No because the Lord isn't permitting me", you, in a distant, far away voice say, "but the Lord's permitting you Mary-Jane".

Tom climbed the apple tree without Mary-Jane seeing him.

Bill: Mary-Jane, Mary-Jane come under the apple tree with me.

Mary-Jane: No because the Lord isn't permitting me.

Tom: (in a far-off voice) but the Lord's permitting you Mary-Jane.

So Mary-Jane, thinking that the Lord had given his blessing, went under the apple tree with Bill.

Bill: Mary-Jane, Mary-Jane let me kiss you.

Mary-Jane: No because the Lord isn't permitting me.

Tom: (in a far-off voice) but the Lord's permitting you Mary-Jane.

So Mary-Jane, thinking that the Lord had given his blessing, let Bill kiss her.

Bill: Mary-Jane, Mary-Jane let me take all of your clothes off.

Mary-Jane: No because the Lord isn't permitting me.

Tom: (in a far-off voice) but the Lord's permitting you Mary-Jane.

So Mary-Jane, thinking that the Lord had given his blessing, let Bill take off all of her clothes.

Bill: Mary-Jane, Mary-Jane let me make love to you.

Mary-Jane: No because the Lord isn't permitting me.

Tom: (in a very loud voice) "Make way for the Lord".

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11-07-2017, 12:43 PM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
(11-07-2017 10:37 AM)jennybee Wrote:  In another awkward flirting adventure, I got pulled over by a cop and when he got back with my license he smiled and said "Your picture doesn't do you justice." I asked if that meant I got out of the ticket Wink He smiled and said he still had to do his job. That fucker still gave me a ticket. Angry Tongue

After he gave you a ticket, you should have asked him if he liked having land.

If he said yes, you should have kicked him in his nuts and told him "there's two acres for a start".

(An Acre is a UK unit of land and is 4,840 square yards).

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11-07-2017, 12:45 PM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
A girl once asked me if I wanted to play "doctor".

I said sure...

So... I made her wait in the living room for 3 hours. Dodgy

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11-07-2017, 12:49 PM
RE: Terrible Flirt Thread
(11-07-2017 12:43 PM)god has no twitter account Wrote:  
(11-07-2017 10:37 AM)jennybee Wrote:  In another awkward flirting adventure, I got pulled over by a cop and when he got back with my license he smiled and said "Your picture doesn't do you justice." I asked if that meant I got out of the ticket Wink He smiled and said he still had to do his job. That fucker still gave me a ticket. Angry Tongue

After he gave you a ticket, you should have asked him if he liked having land.

If he said yes, you should have kicked him in his nuts and told him "there's two acres for a start".

(An Acre is a UK unit of land and is 4,840 square yards).

And then asked for his number after? Consider Tongue

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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