Terrible One Sentence Plot Summaries
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02-04-2017, 10:38 AM
RE: Terrible One Sentence Plot Summaries
(02-04-2017 07:41 AM)Vera Wrote:  [Image: 8fb06ce190ffd6ba04b8eede13b17bd6.jpg]

Which is why they will never adapt Walden for the big screen....

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One line plot summary for Walden: A contrarian lives in a shack on Emerson's woodlot and criticises other people.
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02-04-2017, 11:27 AM
RE: Terrible One Sentence Plot Summaries
Harry Potter: Wizards decide child abuse is a small price to pay to keep child with blood relatives.

VeggieTales: Animated vegetables which lack a soul according to Christian theology, teach kids about Jesus.

BibleMan: Lightsaber wielding Batman hit upside head with Bible.

X-Files: Man believes everything he reads about aliens without evidence, scoffs at idea of belief in religion.

Godzilla (2015/16?): Bland Americans team up with giant lizard to deal with bugs too large for the Orkin man.

(01-04-2017 08:16 PM)Vera Wrote:  Wanna hear a funny story? Well, not really funny but ages ago, when I was still one of you and not one of those headed straight for hell ( Tongue ), I really liked the play the movie is based on; then I saw the movie and thought (even wrote a paper for a course in Uni) how the play (unlike the movie) was about Salieri trying to challenge god, saying that he *will* be remembered and, basically, killing Mozart so that he would be remembered for this, if not for his music. But the play ends with those two characters (don't remember their names) saying, empathically "I don't believe it." Which, apparently, meant that his challenge to god has failed... I might've been trying a teensy weensy bit too hard to find something that probably wasn't there. Drinking Beverage

Or you could argue that it was there and you were just trying to apply literary criticism to it. Seriously did not know the play ended differently than the film version like that. And if you ever want to switch sides, we'd take you back, even if we won't force you in modern times. As soon as a few hundred years ago...well...yeah. Most modern Christians would be considered heretics and put to death by the standards of the day.

(02-04-2017 09:25 AM)Gawdzilla Wrote:  The Ten Commandments: Moses and Pharaoh are no longer a thing.

Well for the first 9 Plagues, their PapyrusSpace profiles probably said "It's Complicated". Tongue

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02-04-2017, 02:04 PM
RE: Terrible One Sentence Plot Summaries
(02-04-2017 10:38 AM)Jay Vogelsong Wrote:  Which is why they will never adapt Walden for the big screen....



One line plot summary for Walden: A contrarian lives in a shack on Emerson's woodlot and criticises other people.


[Image: more-abridged-classics.jpg]

[Image: e0892a16eac8909a4ea139b4522fab0c.jpg]

The only really good adaptation I can think of (the occasional Colin Firth-starring Jane Austin one doesn't count Rolleyes ) is Guildenstern and Rosencrantz are Dead (and that's based on a play, not a novel anyway). Other than this, I mostly refuse to watch adaptations. Cough*Arrival*Cough Dodgy

(02-04-2017 11:27 AM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  Or you could argue that it was there and you were just trying to apply literary criticism to it. Seriously did not know the play ended differently than the film version like that. And if you ever want to switch sides, we'd take you back, even if we won't force you in modern times. As soon as a few hundred years ago...well...yeah. Most modern Christians would be considered heretics and put to death by the standards of the day.

Yeah, the play is rather different. Better, methinks (or methought at least Rolleyes )

I'm afraid it's a bit like the smallpox virus - if you survive it, you have lifelong immunity Tongue But if the theocracy comes, I might take you up on that offer ;-)

Did you know that the word heretic comes from the Greek able to choose? In what sad, slavish mind was this a bad thing? Consider

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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02-04-2017, 04:59 PM (This post was last modified: 03-04-2017 03:49 AM by BackSlider.)
RE: Terrible One Sentence Plot Summaries
The test wasn't negative.



We won't survive this either.



Start praying harder cause you aren't in remission yet.



Those sores and pimples, will always come back cause there isn't a cure.

You have to be odd to be #1.
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02-04-2017, 09:45 PM
RE: Terrible One Sentence Plot Summaries
Fantastic Voyage: Three men and a lady penetrate an unconscious man.
Inconvenient Truth: Al Gore is super cereal.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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03-04-2017, 02:34 PM
RE: Terrible One Sentence Plot Summaries
Prometheus: Science experiment goes wrong, ruins everything it touches, seeks out Creator who wants to smash it and start over.

E.T.: Boy helps illegal alien flee proper authorities.

Ben Hur: You can't fight Rome, even when they lose, they win.

Jaws: Rare endangered aquatic creature murdered by small town blue collar sheriff.

Jurassic Park: A team of scientists agree to a questionable proposition in order to secure grant funding.

Jurassic Park: Dr. Wu didn't follow any of the laws related to research and all those innocent employees paid for it.

Captain America: German scientist helps Allies win WW2 thanks to his pioneering work with steroids

(02-04-2017 02:04 PM)Vera Wrote:  
(02-04-2017 10:38 AM)Jay Vogelsong Wrote:  Which is why they will never adapt Walden for the big screen....



One line plot summary for Walden: A contrarian lives in a shack on Emerson's woodlot and criticises other people.


[Image: more-abridged-classics.jpg]

[Image: e0892a16eac8909a4ea139b4522fab0c.jpg]

The only really good adaptation I can think of (the occasional Colin Firth-starring Jane Austin one doesn't count Rolleyes ) is Guildenstern and Rosencrantz are Dead (and that's based on a play, not a novel anyway). Other than this, I mostly refuse to watch adaptations. Cough*Arrival*Cough Dodgy

(02-04-2017 11:27 AM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  Or you could argue that it was there and you were just trying to apply literary criticism to it. Seriously did not know the play ended differently than the film version like that. And if you ever want to switch sides, we'd take you back, even if we won't force you in modern times. As soon as a few hundred years ago...well...yeah. Most modern Christians would be considered heretics and put to death by the standards of the day.

Yeah, the play is rather different. Better, methinks (or methought at least Rolleyes )

I'm afraid it's a bit like the smallpox virus - if you survive it, you have lifelong immunity Tongue But if the theocracy comes, I might take you up on that offer ;-)

Did you know that the word heretic comes from the Greek able to choose? In what sad, slavish mind was this a bad thing? Consider
I don't know your all's politics well enough, but somehow I think under Pence we would go theocrat before you did. (Then again, from what little I do know, the Senate down there makes our seem somewhat sane at times.) And the dark side has cookies, but we have Jesus wafers.

Did actually know that bit of linguistic trivia! Found it out when looking up the word the first time I was called it as a Baptist at the age of like 12 or so. Tongue Unlike how Catholicism has treated me, they were not cool with questions. "But why do we believe this?" was answered verbatim at times with "shut up and believe" and a variation of "God's ways are above man's ways, it doesn't have to make sense to you."

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03-04-2017, 03:25 PM (This post was last modified: 03-04-2017 04:01 PM by Vera.)
RE: Terrible One Sentence Plot Summaries
(03-04-2017 02:34 PM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  I don't know your all's politics well enough, but somehow I think under Pence we would go theocrat before you did. (Then again, from what little I do know, the Senate down there makes our seem somewhat sane at times.) And the dark side has cookies, but we have Jesus wafers.

Did actually know that bit of linguistic trivia! Found it out when looking up the word the first time I was called it as a Baptist at the age of like 12 or so. Tongue Unlike how Catholicism has treated me, they were not cool with questions. "But why do we believe this?" was answered verbatim at times with "shut up and believe" and a variation of "God's ways are above man's ways, it doesn't have to make sense to you."

oh, the theocracy most assuredly will not start in Europe, this much I know (and is the only reason I miss it now that I'm infesting another hemisphere) Even our parliament isn't too crazy. Just a damn stupid Prime Minister, but hey, what else is new...

Oh, god, I so feel your pain about the "shut up and believe" bit. I'm currently living with a lady who's into this charming little bit of batshit crazy (and ugly) and frankly, I'm not sure how much more I can take... not that I've kept my mouth shut, you should know me well enough by now to know that I might be a generally polite (even nice-ish) person but there are things I don't tolerate too well... and among those are "everything happens for a reason" (tell it to the child with cancer) or "suffering helps us become better people" (FUCK THIS SHIT! What kind of a godmonster creates a world where the only way it can teach its supposedly beloved children is by suffering. Fuck it to infinity) Or, in this particular case (of espiritismo), they either did something to deserve it or they "chose" it in a previous life Facepalm In what sick, twisted, selfish mind, can a person do/choose ANYTHING that justifies being gangraped by soldiers in this one? Fuck to the fucking no and then some! Censored

(I might be experiencing some anger issues atm Blush )


But seriously, how can you see all the suffering and pain in the world and think - ah, it's all for the best in this, the best of all possible worlds, with the best of all possible gods (insert godhead of your own choosing) watching over all of us and personally helping me go through my breakup and find my keys Censored

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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03-04-2017, 05:38 PM
RE: Terrible One Sentence Plot Summaries
Batman Begins: Boy witnesses parents' murder, has psychotic break.

Batman: The Dark Knight: Billionaire stalks ex who is over him and becomes reclusive emo.

Batman: The Dark Knight Rises: Reclusive billionaire builds and detonates nuclear weapon near major metropolitan area.

(03-04-2017 03:25 PM)Vera Wrote:  
(03-04-2017 02:34 PM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  I don't know your all's politics well enough, but somehow I think under Pence we would go theocrat before you did. (Then again, from what little I do know, the Senate down there makes our seem somewhat sane at times.) And the dark side has cookies, but we have Jesus wafers.

Did actually know that bit of linguistic trivia! Found it out when looking up the word the first time I was called it as a Baptist at the age of like 12 or so. Tongue Unlike how Catholicism has treated me, they were not cool with questions. "But why do we believe this?" was answered verbatim at times with "shut up and believe" and a variation of "God's ways are above man's ways, it doesn't have to make sense to you."

oh, the theocracy most assuredly will not start in Europe, this much I know (and is the only reason I miss it now that I'm infesting another hemisphere) Even our parliament isn't too crazy. Just a damn stupid Prime Minister, but hey, what else is new...

Oh, god, I so feel your pain about the "shut up and believe" bit. I'm currently living with a lady who's into this charming little bit of batshit crazy (and ugly) and frankly, I'm not sure how much more I can take... not that I've kept my mouth shut, you should know me well enough by now to know that I might be a generally polite (even nice-ish) person but there are things I don't tolerate too well... and among those are "everything happens for a reason" (tell it to the child with cancer) or "suffering helps us become better people" (FUCK THIS SHIT! What kind of a godmonster creates a world where the only way it can teach its supposedly beloved children is by suffering. Fuck it to infinity) Or, in this particular case (of espiritismo), they either did something to deserve it or they "chose" it in a previous life Facepalm In what sick, twisted, selfish mind, can a person do/choose ANYTHING that justifies being gangraped by soldiers in this one? Fuck to the fucking no and then some! Censored

(I might be experiencing some anger issues atm Blush )


But seriously, how can you see all the suffering and pain in the world and think - ah, it's all for the best in this, the best of all possible worlds, with the best of all possible gods (insert godhead of your own choosing) watching over all of us and personally helping me go through my breakup and find my keys Censored

....what the heck did I just read when I clicked that link? Also, little less polite, but the fuck did I read where you said people were justifying gangrape by soldiers as things that happened in past lives? What kind of people do that and how have you not snapped yet; do you have Herculean patience? It's reminiscent of what I once heard somewhere about a Buddhist telling a western visitor not to feel sorry for crippled kids because they were awful people in their past lives.

(They seem like justified ones though...)


In all honesty to the last paragraph...I'm not sure? I have huge issues with theodicy and also the issues of suffering. Why am I in a nation where one half of the population is saying how star spangled amazing we are, when 1/5 of our children live in abject poverty and can't afford to eat enough? Why is it that compared to a lot of nations suffering from famines, is that a good statistic? Why is it that some nations are suffering from famines like that? Why is North Korea a thing? Why are there child soldiers? Why do really good people die and people who are just shy of what one might describe as evil, live for sometimes over a century?

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03-04-2017, 07:12 PM (This post was last modified: 03-04-2017 09:03 PM by Vera.)
RE: Terrible One Sentence Plot Summaries
See, but that’s why we like you, despite you-know-what Tongue Because you *are* a good person and you’re honest enough (and smart enough, ‘cause yeah, that’s certainly a huge part of it) to realise and admit to yourself that there *is* a problem and that explaining suffering away isn’t that easy. Or at least it *shouldn’t* be. Not if you’re an even halfway decent person.

In all fairness, she didn’t say that gangraped women deserved it, but because *she* survived some hard times (nowhere NEAR as bad) and, apparently, became a better person, obviously, it should work for everyone, no matter what personal hell they’re going through. My mum has lupus – she straight up told me she (my mum) chose it in a previous life. There aren’t enough fucks in the world for this! And then I said that nothing – NOTHING – you did in your previous life (which you don’t even remember, for fucking fuck’s sake!) can justify this. I don’t care if you were fucking Hitler! And the only reply I got was a blank stare, like, nah, you’re wrong, my life is okay, so the world is okay and not a bottomless pit of suffering for so many and because *I* am not suffering, it’s a wonderful wonderful place and god’s in his heaven and all’s right with ME.

There is a saying in Portuguese, which roughly translates into “with the bad/suffering/problems of others I can do pretty well”, still not sure if it means that the suffering of others always looks less than our own or that it just doesn’t bother me, but both are fucking what I’m seeing here and yeah, I consider myself a fairly patient person but that's *the* thing I find it painfully hard to accept without losing all respect for said person.

There's a lovely quote from a lovely and very talented Italian composer (who wrote the music for quite a few movies, incl. the Godfather series (which I refuse to watch, as I won't have any part in the glorification of violence, especially this kind of violence. There's NOTHING cool about the mafia, never was and never will be, and I should probably pick a rant and stick with it Rolleyes )

"When I’m creating at the piano, I tend to feel happy; but - the eternal dilemma - how can we be happy amid the unhappiness of others? I'd do everything I could to give everyone a moment of happiness. That's what's at the heart of my music." Heart

(this version is in Sicilian and being the sucker for languages and dialects I am, I prefer this one)





Love this as well, and the lyrics (obvs. much better in Italian, this isn't a very good translation, but...)
Singing, for those who aren’t lucky
singing for me
Singing to this moon 'cause I feel yucky
contra all thee
Contra who is rich and doesn’t know
who stains the truth and doesn’t show
I’m walkin’n’singin’, out of the rage that I stow

I think of all the people who live gloomily,
in the city’s solitude so brutally
I think of the illusions of humanity
all its words repeated, it’s insanity

Singing, for those who aren’t lucky
singing for me
Singing to this moon 'cause I feel yucky
contra all thee
Singing to the sun that soon will show
then go down low, again re-glow
to the illusions and the rage that I stow

I think of all the people who live gloomily,
in the city’s solitude so brutally
I think of the illusions of humanity
all its words repeated, it’s insanity

Singing, for those who aren’t lucky
singing for me
Singing to this moon 'cause I feel yucky
contra all thee
Singing to the sun that soon will show
then go down low, again re-glow
to the illusions and the rage that I stow






(Music calms me down and apparently I'm in dire need of some calming down right now Rolleyes )

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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03-04-2017, 09:49 PM
RE: Terrible One Sentence Plot Summaries
Pirates of the Caribbean: A lone butt Pirate's quest to avoid a lynch mob consisting of everyone he's fucked.
Predator: A dentist from another world goes on safari.

I also second what Vera said.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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