That call from a strange number late at night....
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23-06-2013, 09:09 PM (This post was last modified: 23-06-2013 09:27 PM by Percepticon.)
That call from a strange number late at night....
I ignored it, figuring it was fraudulent.

Then she texted me, said our friend (her ex-girlfriend) was being flown to the hospital for brain surgery. She was visiting her family & had an aneurysm burst.

She lives alone. She got lucky it happened when she was with them. I live alone, and that scares me anyway, but now even more so.

For several years she lived 4 doors down from me. We didn't talk at first....then we did, and together we helped some kid who had a shitty upbringing. I grew a little crush on her, but dared not tell her. That was in 2008. It was intoxicating, though. Warm summer nights, walking her dogs with the frogs and crickets singing, the soft glow of the streetlights illuminating our steps, her hair.

I got brave as time passed. Offered her massages, and she enjoyed them. We talked about everything. She admired my openness about who I am. One day after a massage, she was laying on her couch, and I was playing on the computer. She was upset, crying, and she came out to me. I had no idea she was gay. She spoke of her first love, many years ago in Kentucky...and how she died, and how her heart broke.

We talked and talked. I pulled up my notes on the computer, thoughts I'd written about her...she was in awe, and flattered. We spent more time together after that, though not doing anything differently than we had been...not much anyway. There was just a different tenderness there. We talked and texted more, many times at 5AM we talked, and again after work. I remember the giddy feeling I had, that certain smile I'd get when I'd get a text from her. I think she got a little giddy, too.

She was in the process of moving to an apartment complex down the street, walking distance, thankfully. We walked the dogs together a lot those days, then watched TV together. She'd sit on one end of the couch & put a pillow on her lap, pat the pillow for me to lay down on her. We'd hold hands while watching TV. I'd sleep over a couple nights a week and we'd snuggle together. It was a good moment in time.

One day she said she wanted me to be her first lesbian date. I was surprised, but I loved it. I showed up at her place with a bundle of sunflowers. We ate at Cracker Barrell, then went to Haagen Dasz for ice cream, ate it in the bed of her pickup. We took a walk in the neighborhood behind the ice cream place. It was dark & no one was around, but she wouldn't hold my hand in public--the stakes are higher for her. We'd go to Cracker Barrel from time to time...it became our thing, I guess, not as a date, but friends. When we got our dessert I made her blush by asking if she wanted my cherry. She blushed a lot with me those days.

We never did anything. We never even kissed, though she didn't turn away when I kissed her face or shoulder. I would have made love to her. She knew it, too. One day I finally asked her what all of this means. She said she doesn't think of me "like that." I knew where she was coming from, but cried anyway. She cried, too. It was weird, I was the one hearing what I didn't want to hear, but I had to console her. I understood--she enjoyed the attention, she enjoyed the companionship & caresses, the cuddling. She responded to it because it was enjoyable, not because she wanted me as her girlfriend. I've been where she was. I don't blame her.

We stayed close friends. I wrote her a poem & she loves it--we went to the store together to get a frame & she hangs it up every place she moves to. Eventually she started using dating sites, which is how she met her first post-lesbian-hiatus girlfriend, the one who called me tonight. She doesn't blush anymore.

She moved down south, then back to town, then a few exits north on the Interstate. Our schedules don't allow us to be in touch so much anymore. We ran into each other a few weeks ago & were able to spend a few hours together. She told me that over a year ago she came out to her parents & was met with contempt, but hasn't backed down. I was real proud of her. I hugged her long & tight before we parted. That was the last time we spoke.


I'm supposed to wake up and function in 5 and a half hours. Not sure how to wake up if I can't sleep. I feel alone and helpless now. I just want her to be OK.

Every now & again, I recall those moments in time that we shared. Sometimes, I still feel a stirring for her.

Sadcryface

Heart

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23-06-2013, 09:30 PM
RE: That call from a strange number late at night....
Hug

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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23-06-2013, 09:39 PM
RE: That call from a strange number late at night....
Beautifully written.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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24-06-2013, 04:28 AM
RE: That call from a strange number late at night....
Thank you.

7 1/2 hours ago they were drilling a hole in her head to relieve pressure. Barely slept, and only dreamt of her when I did. Still no word & I'm trying not to freak out.

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24-06-2013, 08:57 AM
RE: That call from a strange number late at night....
Update: Still in surgery--12 hours so far.

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24-06-2013, 09:03 AM
RE: That call from a strange number late at night....
Long surgeries give hope.... Hug

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24-06-2013, 09:14 AM
RE: That call from a strange number late at night....
Hug If you can, go to the hospital. The touch of a loved one, words whispered in an ear can help her-if only to bring comfort. Your presence might also bring some comfort to her parents and yourself.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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24-06-2013, 09:15 AM
RE: That call from a strange number late at night....
(24-06-2013 09:03 AM)Dom Wrote:  Long surgeries give hope.... Hug
Thank you....I was thinking the very same thing.

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24-06-2013, 09:25 AM
RE: That call from a strange number late at night....
(24-06-2013 09:14 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Hug If you can, go to the hospital. The touch of a loved one, words whispered in an ear can help her-if only to bring comfort. Your presence might also bring some comfort to her parents and yourself.
Thank you. She's 3 hours or so away & I've no car, and once I pay rent, have under 40$ to spend for 2 weeks--not complaining, because my cats are taken care of, but it means a rental car ain't happ'nin' too soon....but then again, not like she'll be up skippin' in a week anyway....

'Preciate you guys....

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24-06-2013, 09:45 AM
RE: That call from a strange number late at night....
Most certainly go to the hospital - like B & A said, you can only bring comfort. Being at the hospital will also help you; you'll be more in informed of what to feel when you can observe what is going on with her.

Even if she's not conscious, it still might be frightening for her and she will need all the comfort and familiarity you can offer. Possibly bring a familiar book or read her the poem you wrote for her - something to connect - you'll both need to connect. Shy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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