The 5 Stages of Grief, round 2
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08-10-2015, 03:56 PM
The 5 Stages of Grief, round 2
Earlier, Reltzik had started a thread with this title. His post:
Quote:Five Stages of Grief
Also known as the Kubler-Ross model, only with a weird umlaut in there that I don't know how to type. In this model, grief is broken down into five stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Acceptance is the healthy outcome at the end of the process. It doesn't mean you're HAPPY about it, but you've resolved yourself to the reality. The five stages of grief kick in with a lot of circumstances, including recent or imminent death of a loved one, your own imminent death, ending a romantic relationship, struggling with addiction...

It's not above criticism, but it's still an interesting way to look at grief. Here's an example of a healthy process following the imminent death of a loved one.

Stage 1: Denial. ("He's still walking around and talking, the cancer isn't too bad yet, maybe we can do this.")
Stage 2: Anger. ("WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SMOKE TWO PACKS A DAY! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO US!")
Stage 3: Bargaining. ("Look, if you just convert on your deathbed then this isn't really the end! You and I can still be together forever in heaven!")
Stage 4: Denial. ("He's not really dead. He's living forever in Christ.")

.... wait, that's not how it's supposed to work...

Okay, maybe that's a bad example. Let's try this again with, say, a messy divorce.

Stage 1: Denial. ("We've hit a bit of a rough patch, but we can pull through this.")
Stage 2: Anger. (*sound of a thrown lamp smashing*)
Stage 3: Bargaining. ("Look, let's just try a trial separation. Time and prayer will heal this.")
Stage 4: Denial. ("Even though he legally divorced me, what God bound can't be rent asunder, so we're still married in the eyes of the Lord.")

....

Is it just me, or is a lot of how Christianity works about short-circuiting the process at our most vulnerable so that we never reach the healthy outcome of Acceptance? Offering us a fake cure to keep us locked in a perpetual cycle of Denial and Bargaining, and we keep buying their cure because we never really heal? I just noticed this a bit ago and now I can't get the idea out of my head.

I think the Kubler-Ross model works regardless of any belief system, and it takes place before any of the rationalization of the eternal soul.
Thoughts?
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08-10-2015, 04:30 PM
RE: The 5 Stages of Grief, round 2
(08-10-2015 03:56 PM)skyking Wrote:  Earlier, Reltzik had started a thread with this title. His post:
Quote:Five Stages of Grief
Also known as the Kubler-Ross model, only with a weird umlaut in there that I don't know how to type. In this model, grief is broken down into five stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Acceptance is the healthy outcome at the end of the process. It doesn't mean you're HAPPY about it, but you've resolved yourself to the reality. The five stages of grief kick in with a lot of circumstances, including recent or imminent death of a loved one, your own imminent death, ending a romantic relationship, struggling with addiction...

It's not above criticism, but it's still an interesting way to look at grief. Here's an example of a healthy process following the imminent death of a loved one.

Stage 1: Denial. ("He's still walking around and talking, the cancer isn't too bad yet, maybe we can do this.")
Stage 2: Anger. ("WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SMOKE TWO PACKS A DAY! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO US!")
Stage 3: Bargaining. ("Look, if you just convert on your deathbed then this isn't really the end! You and I can still be together forever in heaven!")
Stage 4: Denial. ("He's not really dead. He's living forever in Christ.")

.... wait, that's not how it's supposed to work...

Okay, maybe that's a bad example. Let's try this again with, say, a messy divorce.

Stage 1: Denial. ("We've hit a bit of a rough patch, but we can pull through this.")
Stage 2: Anger. (*sound of a thrown lamp smashing*)
Stage 3: Bargaining. ("Look, let's just try a trial separation. Time and prayer will heal this.")
Stage 4: Denial. ("Even though he legally divorced me, what God bound can't be rent asunder, so we're still married in the eyes of the Lord.")

....

Is it just me, or is a lot of how Christianity works about short-circuiting the process at our most vulnerable so that we never reach the healthy outcome of Acceptance? Offering us a fake cure to keep us locked in a perpetual cycle of Denial and Bargaining, and we keep buying their cure because we never really heal? I just noticed this a bit ago and now I can't get the idea out of my head.

I think the Kubler-Ross model works regardless of any belief system, and it takes place before any of the rationalization of the eternal soul.
Thoughts?

It doesn't have anything to do with religion, any human being will go through the process. Religion just tries to fill in the gaps, as usual.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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08-10-2015, 04:33 PM
RE: The 5 Stages of Grief, round 2
Agreed on both counts. The point I was trying to make originally was that religion can (but doesn't always) interfere with the process and prevent a person from moving on to true acceptance.

.... cue another derail by self-appointed ineffectual apologists who insist on taking up all the oxygen in the room in five... four... three...
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08-10-2015, 05:02 PM
RE: The 5 Stages of Grief, round 2
(08-10-2015 04:33 PM)Reltzik Wrote:  Agreed on both counts. The point I was trying to make originally was that religion can (but doesn't always) interfere with the process and prevent a person from moving on to true acceptance.

.... cue another derail by self-appointed ineffectual apologists who insist on taking up all the oxygen in the room in five... four... three...
Let's hope not. I would not tolerate it if it were up to me. Seems like there are a few other places here for that discussion.
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