The Adventures of Nurse in Church
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29-05-2016, 05:10 PM
RE: The Adventures of Nurse in Church
(29-05-2016 04:09 PM)Paleophyte Wrote:  A few thoughts:

- Find yourself a hot atheist sugar daddy.

- Spike the communion wine with something entertaining (LSD, THC, ExLax)

- Bribe the kids in Sunday School to sit perfectly still and silent contemplating Jesus using chocolate-covered coffee beans.

On a more realistic note, if you take a smartphone to church and record the audio I'm certain we can get it back to you MST3K style. This could cause problems with giggle fits the following week.
Laugh out load I would love to find a hot atheist sugar daddy! I hope that's not unrealistic...

If LSD weren't so damn expensive I'd totally consider it!

I swear I think they already feed them espresso beans.

I'll follow the link when I get home. I'm at a hot air balloon festival waiting on them to fill up the balloons any minute.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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29-05-2016, 05:12 PM
RE: The Adventures of Nurse in Church
(29-05-2016 05:03 PM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  Are there still altar calls at the non-denom place? They seem so mellow from your description, that it made me wonder. (That and apparently my cousin's Baptist minister husband never makes any, but that's more because he never has guests.)

They didn't have an altar call, but they did request donations for the kingdom of God, to invest in eternity - that when we get to heaven we'll see people there who are in heaven because of our donated dollars. Or something like that.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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29-05-2016, 05:19 PM
RE: The Adventures of Nurse in Church
(29-05-2016 05:12 PM)Nurse Wrote:  
(29-05-2016 05:03 PM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  Are there still altar calls at the non-denom place? They seem so mellow from your description, that it made me wonder. (That and apparently my cousin's Baptist minister husband never makes any, but that's more because he never has guests.)

They didn't have an altar call, but they did request donations for the kingdom of God, to invest in eternity - that when we get to heaven we'll see people there who are in heaven because of our donated dollars. Or something like that.

Ack "invest in eternity". Still sounds like a pretty chill middle ground though, to keep the parents in the dark while getting nothing too extreme though.

Need to think of a witty signature.
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29-05-2016, 07:25 PM
RE: The Adventures of Nurse in Church
(29-05-2016 05:10 PM)Nurse Wrote:  
(29-05-2016 04:09 PM)Paleophyte Wrote:  A few thoughts:

- Find yourself a hot atheist sugar daddy.

- Spike the communion wine with something entertaining (LSD, THC, ExLax)

- Bribe the kids in Sunday School to sit perfectly still and silent contemplating Jesus using chocolate-covered coffee beans.

On a more realistic note, if you take a smartphone to church and record the audio I'm certain we can get it back to you MST3K style. This could cause problems with giggle fits the following week.
Laugh out load I would love to find a hot atheist sugar daddy! I hope that's not unrealistic...

If LSD weren't so damn expensive I'd totally consider it!

I swear I think they already feed them espresso beans.

I'll follow the link when I get home. I'm at a hot air balloon festival waiting on them to fill up the balloons any minute.

Have fun ballooning!

MST3K is short for Mystery Science Theater 3000. It's a show where they play old B sci-fi movies with a commentary track over top. Best watched with chemical assistance but funny while sober. I'm sure that we could manage something similar with an audio recording of the sermon.

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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29-05-2016, 07:29 PM
RE: The Adventures of Nurse in Church
(29-05-2016 05:10 PM)Nurse Wrote:  If LSD weren't so damn expensive I'd totally consider it!

It's cheap as dirt in my area. Like $20 for a 4-way hit.

Gimme a PO Box. There ain't a dog on the planet who can smell it. .... yet.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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29-05-2016, 09:42 PM
RE: The Adventures of Nurse in Church
(29-05-2016 07:29 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(29-05-2016 05:10 PM)Nurse Wrote:  If LSD weren't so damn expensive I'd totally consider it!

It's cheap as dirt in my area. Like $20 for a 4-way hit.

Gimme a PO Box. There ain't a dog on the planet who can smell it. .... yet.

Still a lot of change to dose the whole congregation.

On the other hand, if you could find a way to slip it to the preacher that would be $20 well spent.

---
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30-05-2016, 08:00 PM
RE: The Adventures of Nurse in Church
(29-05-2016 05:10 PM)Nurse Wrote:  Laugh out load I would love to find a hot atheist sugar daddy! I hope that's not unrealistic...

Define "hot". Consider

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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