The Anger
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
30-05-2015, 09:27 AM
RE: The Anger
Well, you both do start with D ;-)

"'God works all things for good' Romans 8:28."
"'Bull Dinky.' Perry Cox. 6:1. Buck eighty-five after lunch."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes mycole's post
30-05-2015, 10:20 AM
RE: The Anger
My anger stopped when I learnt to let go and see religious folks as simply people who didn't know how they come across.

Understanding that I can't change the way others are frees me of the responsibility to try, and that allows me to live and let live so long as they don't get preachy with me.

Avoiding Facebook is just a good idea, too, I think.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Thumpalumpacus's post
30-05-2015, 10:34 AM
RE: The Anger
[Image: 531856_475212739193804_1032407942_n.jpg]

Likewise, I don't think there is any way to not resent am entire system that abused your trust and lied to you.

[Image: E3WvRwZ.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like EvolutionKills's post
30-05-2015, 11:04 AM
RE: The Anger
I've recently heard it put succinctly... "Faith is not a virtue, it's a gullibility"... Now that you see how you've been kept gullible by a system, a construct, by your self... I can see how the "what was I thinking" anger rages...
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes slakker's post
30-05-2015, 09:08 PM
RE: The Anger
What is anger actually? Frustration and/or hurt, sometimes fear. Helps to put a name on what you're feeling. It's all absolutely frustrating and hurtful. Nobody likes to be lied to. You know it's a lie and it's difficult to watch others still believe the lie.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Whimsymum's post
30-05-2015, 09:44 PM (This post was last modified: 30-05-2015 09:47 PM by kim.)
RE: The Anger
Duped? Sure, many have been taken for the religious ride. But there's probably more to what makes the anger rise.

Maybe it's the fact that you willingly participated in in that ride and loved it. And now, maybe a tiny part of you is sad to see the ride is just not there. It never really was there.

You kind of have to start from scratch now... kind of pick up wherever it was that you bought onto it all so completely. It will take time... which you may feel has already been wasted. That would certainly pile on the anger.

It's tough to get through and does take a while.
Healthy venting in a safe place (here is good) and a place (again, here) to practic at being just you (whoever that is) can be very therapeutic and might speed things up.

It's good to have you here, Mycole. Welcome to the forum. Smile

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes kim's post
30-05-2015, 10:12 PM
RE: The Anger
Other than the part about meeting popes and having marital difficulties, you described me as if I was writing your post. I'm almost 45, was Catholic and have the exact same feelings as you, and I mean exact. It gets better my friend. It just takes time, like any other loss. I'm still kinda pissed, but I think it's mostly at myself for not thinking about it critically sooner, just like you.

Check out my now-defunct atheism blog. It's just a blog, no ads, no revenue, no gods.
----
Atheism promotes critical thinking; theism promotes hypocritical thinking. -- Me
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
30-05-2015, 11:38 PM
RE: The Anger
Last year I lost my god and my husband. As far as the husband goes, I figured out he no longer loved me. As for the god, he was never real to begin with. Why waste my one life worshipping something that doesn't exist and with a man that was completely indifferent to me?

I'm pretty much past the anger at this point. It has been one year since I deconverted, and 6 months since we called it quits on the marriage (ok, maybe I'm still a little bitter from time to time). With the ex, I finally moved past the anger and onto acceptance because I just don't give a damn about him anymore; rebound sex has helped, too (it's not like I'm sinning Angel ). With god - that "what if I'm wrong" is gone, as well as learning not to regret my past.

We can't do jack shit to change our past - but we can live for today and change our future. All that time wasted in prayer - now you *know* you have to take *action* for there to be changes - a magical sky fairy ain't gonna do it for ya. This life is precious - no more taking each day for granted - there's no heaven where we live forever. I did cry a little bit today - people were sharing stories about my dead father on Facebook - and it still stings knowing I will never have the opportunity to meet him.

It took a lot of venting, as Kim mentioned, and learning - I had never heard the term "logical fallacy" before (yay Alabama public schools!). Once I learned those, I was able to sit through sermons much easier (btw I'm in the closet). Also, a good dose of laughter goes a long way. The thread pics for a laugh at religion - that really helped me those first few months. Blaspheming against god was such a taboo - I could be pissed off and laugh at the same time - and once I felt like I could read those without dire consequences or feeling like I was doing something scandalous, I started to feel better.

Find a healthy outlet - usually some form of exercise gets out the most pernicious of frustrations. My outlet is running - I used to run as a kid and teen, and throughout parts of my twenties. Last year I became well acquainted with the couch with my depression. Now I'm back on the road and trails again, with some lofty goals in mind.

I was in a really dark place last year - it was the worst year of my life - I hope to never be there again. I've met some really wonderful people here. They helped me get through this in one piece when I had no one else I could talk to who could possibly understand. With you deconverting and having marital stress, too, I can imagine you're having a pretty tough time, yourself. It does get better: Today, I feel free.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 12 users Like Nurse's post
01-06-2015, 07:03 PM
RE: The Anger



#sigh
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
01-06-2015, 08:44 PM
RE: The Anger
Thanks everyone. I love that you all are taking the time to respond to this. It is helpful. I'm glad there's a place where I can get this shit out of my system.

For the past couple of days, I've found myself wanting to engage people in arguments online - someone will post some stupid religious meme about praying this or that and passing it along, lest it not work, or some other stupid magical thinking. Someone else said that Caitlyn Jenner was haunted by Satan. As I found myself composing responses to these people, I stopped and thought, you know, there isn't much I can say that will likely change their way of thinking. What I say will, instead, likely piss them off. So, instead, I just deleted what I wrote, unfollowed them, and moved on. It's been helpful. I can be free of this pernicious anger, and I don't have to right every internet wrong. lol.

Of course, the deeper anger and resentment comes closer to home: my estranged wife insists that, since I swore at our children's baptism to raise them Catholic, I must honor my commitment to her and them. My take is that, now that I believe it to be a crock of shit, how can I rightly keep such a commitment?

My son (who is 16) and I are going white water rafting this weekend. He was sure to ask, "where are we going to go to Mass on Sunday?" Inside, i'm thinking, you know, it's important to him. I'll take him. But dammit, I wish I could just talk to him. The way this tenuous marriage is though, i'm so hesitant to speak up. The estranged wife already thinks that I have nefarious motives in speaking to the kids about evolution and will try to weaken their faith. It's an ugly situation.

Sigh. Thanks for listening.

"'God works all things for good' Romans 8:28."
"'Bull Dinky.' Perry Cox. 6:1. Buck eighty-five after lunch."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: