The Anger
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01-06-2015, 09:30 PM (This post was last modified: 01-06-2015 09:37 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: The Anger
(01-06-2015 08:44 PM)mycole Wrote:  Of course, the deeper anger and resentment comes closer to home: my estranged wife insists that, since I swore at our children's baptism to raise them Catholic, I must honor my commitment to her and them. My take is that, now that I believe it to be a crock of shit, how can I rightly keep such a commitment?

I made a similar promise to the Catholic Church to allow this avowed atheist to be married to a good Catholic girl in front of a Priest in a Catholic Church going on some 30 years ago now. My promise was weaker than yours in that I had to promise not to interfere in their Catholic upbringing; Catholics knew better than to ask me to raise them Catholic, shit would've gone ugly. I kept my promise. But I didn't promise not to introduce them to rational thought and healthy skepticism. 4 grown kids later I got 2 couldnotgivelessofashits, 1 thefuckyoutalkingaboutfatboy, and 1 dadyousosilly. They apparently found Catholicism and religion less than compelling despite early indoctrination efforts.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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01-06-2015, 11:25 PM
RE: The Anger
Ha! That's funny. And I should give my children credit as well. That reminds of what happened last week. I was over visiting, having dinner. There we are, me, the wife, and all six kids, around the dinner table. The oldest two (18 and 16) were talking about science and biology, what they're doing in school and whatnot, and so I gave them a challenge, an assignment of sorts. I said, "tell me why we have the following vestigial structures... a coccyx, wisdom teeth, muscles that wiggle our ears," etc. etc. It didn't take the 18 year old long to come to the answer on her own. And when she did so, her eyes widened as she said, "proof of evolution!" It was a pretty proud moment for me, really. What makes it more remarkable is that all of my kids are homeschooled and this particular child has said, quite vocally, that she did NOT come from a monkey! Of course, that's just a misunderstanding of evolution, but I think you get the point that evolution, while not antithetical to Catholicism, is not exactly de riguer in our household. So, I was grinning from ear to ear to hear my child intuit that some of us, for example, have a 13th pair of ribs. The problem came when my wife glared at me, as if to say, "what the heck do you think you're doing, and right in front of me, even?" I didn't have any nefarious intent, mind you. Still, these kids are bright and will come to their own ideas about reality. I think, just seeing that I no longer pray, seeing what books I read, etc., has had to have already made an impact.

Sorry for the rambling, it's late.

"'God works all things for good' Romans 8:28."
"'Bull Dinky.' Perry Cox. 6:1. Buck eighty-five after lunch."
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03-06-2015, 02:55 PM
RE: The Anger
Two world wars turned life upside down with so many losing family members. It was during this time that people turned to the church in a desperate attempt to try to make sense of things. Church was very much about community then when most people walked. Then the Korean war, Vietnam, every generation. This is why many still cling to their churches and religious beliefs. I think your anger is mainly with yourself for being a part of this, feeling duped. Why are you not willing to forgive yourself when you'd forgive others?
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08-06-2015, 09:03 AM (This post was last modified: 08-06-2015 01:35 PM by Momsurroundedbyboys.)
RE: The Anger
(30-05-2015 10:34 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  [Image: 531856_475212739193804_1032407942_n.jpg]

Likewise, I don't think there is any way to not resent am entire system that abused your trust and lied to you.

if your wrong you will go to hell for eternity. email me Email removed
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08-06-2015, 09:14 PM
RE: The Anger
Takelababy, that's the rub... self forgiveness is a difficult thing... working on it though :-)

"'God works all things for good' Romans 8:28."
"'Bull Dinky.' Perry Cox. 6:1. Buck eighty-five after lunch."
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08-06-2015, 10:18 PM
RE: The Anger
(29-05-2015 06:19 PM)mycole Wrote:  New here.

So, how and when does the anger abate? That's what I want to know.

My journey "out" of religion, more specifically, the Catholic Church, has been going on for about three years, and I stand now as an avowed ex-Catholic. I'm 45. I was solidly entrenched in the church for 30 years. I've met 2 popes. I met Mother Teresa. My whole life was built around this church. The process of leaving it has been a very difficult affair, especially since my wife remains a very devout Catholic, and is raising our six (yes, six) kids that way. Naturally, conversations in our home (when I'm home - we've been separated off and on for the last two years) are very, very tense about this topic.

But back to the question at hand: I'm just so fucking angry. But at what? At whom? At a god that doesn't exist? At a mother who sincerely believed in this nonsense and felt that she needed to raise her kids in this church? At a church that brainwashes? Or, at myself for not thinking critically sooner? Sometimes it seems that the anger has no... target, no focus, no aim.

When I see the hashtag "#blessed" I just want to punch someone. When I see a christian meme on facebook, I roll my eyes and mutter some insult at that person. I judge them for being stupid, yet I was just this way a short time ago. And, I feel like I have become the type of atheist that I despised when I was a Catholic: judgmental, cynical, and angry.

The bottom line is this: I feel so duped. Tricked. Like I was sold a bill of goods. I was told that there was a loving god that cared, that provided, that, that, that... and none of it was true.

I hate feeling like a victim. And I think THAT is where the anger comes from. I need to take this back, this feeling of control. To some degree it's already happening: by admitting the true nature of reality. But beyond this, I need to figure out what to do with all of this fucking anger. It's a cancer.

Thanks for listening.

I'm still angry, and I 'got out' 5 years ago, and I'm only 27 so I wasn't nearly as entrenched in it as you were. I'm angry because the religious use their mythology to shackle the brains of the young. The indoctrination is what makes me the angriest. It sickens me.

The great thing about anger is it is easier to deal with when you have like-minded people that also share your anger. It's almost like the anger cancels itself out.

Welcome to the forums.
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09-06-2015, 07:55 AM
RE: The Anger
I wasn't indoctrinated. I only spent a couple years max attempting to believe. But I still feel the anger.

It's the arrogance of believers. To me it feels like Peyton Manning being told how to quarterback from a junior varsity backup. Now that sounds arrogant I'm sure, and I don't mean to say I or we have all the answers. We don't. But religion, to me, is so obviously bullshit. And it makes me angry to be told I'm wrong by someone who believes such nonsense.

I think the anger for me stems from the "why"? Why can't people see it for its obvious flaws? Why can't people see the excuses they have to make to defend their religion?

It makes it only that more difficult for me being in small town Oklahoma, surrounded by a population mostly devoid of critical thinking skills and a very weak public education system. These people are like animals acting on their most basic needs of survival. And I'm in an overwhelming minority.
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09-06-2015, 08:34 AM
RE: The Anger
Another former Catholic with ever diminishing anger issues here.

I can honestly tell you that the two years of TTA therapy from all my friends here have helped me get past the raging anger, this is a great outlet. I am seldom angry anymore, the anger has dissipated for the most part.

Now I just feel sorry for those that are still drinking the Kool-Aid and no longer hold them responsible for having been indoctrinated too. When I came to grips how they were also fed the same line of bullshit, pity replaced anger. It’ll probably happen to you as well, but it takes time and much venting. As GWG said, it’s a grieving process.

What you are feeling mycole is completely normal. The trick for you will be how to gently and logically deal with your spouse and kids, there are many here that have been in your shoes so they can definitely share from personal experience (I don’t have kids and my wife was never a believer).

Good luck and stick around.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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09-06-2015, 08:36 AM
RE: The Anger
(08-06-2015 09:03 AM)prycejosh Wrote:  
(30-05-2015 10:34 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  [Image: 531856_475212739193804_1032407942_n.jpg]

Likewise, I don't think there is any way to not resent am entire system that abused your trust and lied to you.

if your wrong you will go to hell for eternity. email me Email removed

Go fuck yourself. This is a support thread, not a proselytizing thread moron.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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16-06-2015, 08:54 PM
RE: The Anger
(08-06-2015 09:03 AM)prycejosh Wrote:  
(30-05-2015 10:34 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  [Image: 531856_475212739193804_1032407942_n.jpg]

Likewise, I don't think there is any way to not resent am entire system that abused your trust and lied to you.

if your wrong you will go to hell for eternity. email me Email removed

Oh FFS. That's all you've got? Bugger off. I'll take my chances and think for myself, thanks.

"'God works all things for good' Romans 8:28."
"'Bull Dinky.' Perry Cox. 6:1. Buck eighty-five after lunch."
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