The Anger
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16-06-2015, 09:13 PM
RE: The Anger
(29-05-2015 06:19 PM)mycole Wrote:  The bottom line is this: I feel so duped. Tricked. Like I was sold a bill of goods. I was told that there was a loving god that cared, that provided, that, that, that... and none of it was true.

I hate feeling like a victim. And I think THAT is where the anger comes from. I need to take this back, this feeling of control. To some degree it's already happening: by admitting the true nature of reality. But beyond this, I need to figure out what to do with all of this fucking anger. It's a cancer.

Thanks for listening.

Are there other things in which your angry about that are not directly related to religion, and your loss of it? You say you hate feeling duped, feeling like you're a victim? But what does that make you feel so angry? Does being a victim remind you of someone? Does being duped remind you of someone, or some other negative experience?

I think that whenever a person has a maladaptive sense of anger, that it's rarely ever about the most immediate occurrence they place the blame on, but is often multifaceted and deeper than that.
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16-06-2015, 11:23 PM
RE: The Anger
(16-06-2015 09:13 PM)Tomasia Wrote:  
(29-05-2015 06:19 PM)mycole Wrote:  The bottom line is this: I feel so duped. Tricked. Like I was sold a bill of goods. I was told that there was a loving god that cared, that provided, that, that, that... and none of it was true.

I hate feeling like a victim. And I think THAT is where the anger comes from. I need to take this back, this feeling of control. To some degree it's already happening: by admitting the true nature of reality. But beyond this, I need to figure out what to do with all of this fucking anger. It's a cancer.

Thanks for listening.

Are there other things in which your angry about that are not directly related to religion, and your loss of it? You say you hate feeling duped, feeling like you're a victim? But what does that make you feel so angry? Does being a victim remind you of someone? Does being duped remind you of someone, or some other negative experience?

I think that whenever a person has a maladaptive sense of anger, that it's rarely ever about the most immediate occurrence they place the blame on, but is often multifaceted and deeper than that.

Oh sure. The anger is certainly a bit on the disproportionate side of things, for several reasons. That doesn't really lesson it's legitimacy, but I do recognize that someone w/o the history that I have might have an easier time dealing with it.

"'God works all things for good' Romans 8:28."
"'Bull Dinky.' Perry Cox. 6:1. Buck eighty-five after lunch."
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17-06-2015, 04:44 AM
RE: The Anger
(16-06-2015 09:13 PM)Tomasia Wrote:  
(29-05-2015 06:19 PM)mycole Wrote:  The bottom line is this: I feel so duped. Tricked. Like I was sold a bill of goods. I was told that there was a loving god that cared, that provided, that, that, that... and none of it was true.

I hate feeling like a victim. And I think THAT is where the anger comes from. I need to take this back, this feeling of control. To some degree it's already happening: by admitting the true nature of reality. But beyond this, I need to figure out what to do with all of this fucking anger. It's a cancer.

Thanks for listening.

Are there other things in which your angry about that are not directly related to religion, and your loss of it? You say you hate feeling duped, feeling like you're a victim? But what does that make you feel so angry? Does being a victim remind you of someone? Does being duped remind you of someone, or some other negative experience?

I think that whenever a person has a maladaptive sense of anger, that it's rarely ever about the most immediate occurrence they place the blame on, but is often multifaceted and deeper than that.

The anger does not seem at all out of proportion. He is suffering a profound loss and has recognized that part of his life has been stolen and squandered.

Your amateur armchair psychology doesn't account for the facts. Drinking Beverage

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17-06-2015, 06:35 AM
RE: The Anger
(16-06-2015 11:23 PM)mycole Wrote:  Oh sure. The anger is certainly a bit on the disproportionate side of things, for several reasons. That doesn't really lesson it's legitimacy, but I do recognize that someone w/o the history that I have might have an easier time dealing with it.

No, It doesn't lesson the legitimacy. But recognizing this at least gives us the opportunity to see the entire picture. If it involves aspects of our childhood experiences, of our upbringing, the failings of our parents, etc.. I don't think the question should be how do I deal with the anger I feel brought along by a loss of religion, when in reality that anger involves a lot more than that. That you're dealing with wounds much deeper than first glance.

As someone who can also gets very angry, this perspective helps me to deal with my own anger a great deal. That there's more to it, than that immediate thing that brings it to the surface.
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17-06-2015, 06:35 AM
RE: The Anger
(08-06-2015 09:03 AM)prycejosh Wrote:  
(30-05-2015 10:34 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  [Image: 531856_475212739193804_1032407942_n.jpg]

Likewise, I don't think there is any way to not resent am entire system that abused your trust and lied to you.

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17-06-2015, 08:43 AM
RE: The Anger
(17-06-2015 04:44 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(16-06-2015 09:13 PM)Tomasia Wrote:  Are there other things in which your angry about that are not directly related to religion, and your loss of it? You say you hate feeling duped, feeling like you're a victim? But what does that make you feel so angry? Does being a victim remind you of someone? Does being duped remind you of someone, or some other negative experience?

I think that whenever a person has a maladaptive sense of anger, that it's rarely ever about the most immediate occurrence they place the blame on, but is often multifaceted and deeper than that.

The anger does not seem at all out of proportion. He is suffering a profound loss and has recognized that part of his life has been stolen and squandered.

Your amateur armchair psychology doesn't account for the facts. Drinking Beverage

Hmm. Thanks for that. I'm still wrestling with this thought. My gut reaction was to agree and say, yeah it is out of proportion, but that's b/c i have HUGE anger issues in other areas of life, and i know they feed off each other.

But you're also right as well, that this really IS a profound loss. I'm currently 45. I became heavily invested in catholicism at age 16. So, we're talking almost 30 decades. It feels very much like an untimely death.

I think, ultimately, i need to just treat it for what it is. Someone earlier, i think, talked about the stages of loss. and anger, in various stages of intensity, is certainly part of that. but i know it'll get better.

thanks for all of your feedback.

"'God works all things for good' Romans 8:28."
"'Bull Dinky.' Perry Cox. 6:1. Buck eighty-five after lunch."
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17-06-2015, 08:45 AM
RE: The Anger
(17-06-2015 06:35 AM)Tomasia Wrote:  
(16-06-2015 11:23 PM)mycole Wrote:  Oh sure. The anger is certainly a bit on the disproportionate side of things, for several reasons. That doesn't really lesson it's legitimacy, but I do recognize that someone w/o the history that I have might have an easier time dealing with it.

No, It doesn't lesson the legitimacy. But recognizing this at least gives us the opportunity to see the entire picture. If it involves aspects of our childhood experiences, of our upbringing, the failings of our parents, etc.. I don't think the question should be how do I deal with the anger I feel brought along by a loss of religion, when in reality that anger involves a lot more than that. That you're dealing with wounds much deeper than first glance.

As someone who can also gets very angry, this perspective helps me to deal with my own anger a great deal. That there's more to it, than that immediate thing that brings it to the surface.

That's certainly true. And I know that successfully dealing w/ trauma/loss/anger in one area has an effect on other areas. they aren't nicely compartmentalized into neat boxes in our psyche.

"'God works all things for good' Romans 8:28."
"'Bull Dinky.' Perry Cox. 6:1. Buck eighty-five after lunch."
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